(no subject)
why do i continue to put myself thru this hell? is it because you claim youre happy and in love one minute and the next youre saying how you cant stand her and wish i was closer? you're soo perfect in my eyes, even with your flaws of overreacting and how you want ownership over the person youre with and for them not to talk to anyone else of the opposite gender. but then i think about how romantic you are, and how you said we would take a walk, arm in arm, around the city, and go on a carriage ride and all that stuff and then lay outside stareing up at the stars while holding each other and how youd gently kiss my forehead and all that. and it gives me a warm feeling inside and makes me smile..until i realize that youre taken. and then you txt me and message me telling me all the things you want to do with me, both as a friend and sexually, and it gets my hopes up, only to be let down knowing that nothing will ever come to it. then i try to get my mind off you by flirting with other guys or even just hanging out with close male friends that have the potential of being something more, and when you find out you freak out at me..which then makes me think i have a chance again, so then i want to avoid getting involved with someone so that if that chance comes up i can be with you. god youre soo confusing!! just make up your mind already, so i can make up mine.