name that tune

[fall2pieces_07]

so i've come to an obvious conclusion: this blog is full of a never ending supply of bullshit.
but in all honesty, what in life isn't?
when is the last time you knew someone that you told EVERYTHING to
every last bit of every last experience you've had
of every feeling that crossed your mind?
if you can really say that you have told someone EVERYTHING about you
i congratulate you
because i don't know that i'll ever be that brave.

i like to have these random moments where i pretend i have had some deep realization
where i pretend that i know what i'm talking about
that i'm smarter than the normal teenager
that i realize what really goes on in the world
but i'm lying

i have no idea who i am
i have no idea where i'm going
i don't know whats really out there
i don't know what i'm meant to be
or the way things really work
i don't understand the ways of society
i can't explain all of my actions
i have no idea why i feel the way i do
or why i say all the things i say
or why i do the things i do
i don't know what life's about
i don't understand the crazy ways of love
i can't completely grasp the concept of happiness
i'm just as lost and confused as everyone else
and actually, i think i'm worse

i don't know why i push people away
especially boys
i don't know why im terrified of my own feelings
i don't know why i am incapable of accepting that i can't control them
i don't know why my first reaction when someone likes me is to run
i don't know what was wrong with him
or him
i don't know whats wrong with me
i don't know how to face my fears
i don't know why i have recently become my biggest fear
failure
i don't know why i don't seem to care
and can't seem to put an end to it
i don't know why i lie to myself
i'm not even sure who i like anymore
i don' t know how i got this way
i don't get half the things i do
i don't know what my goals are
i can't stop being terrified of the future
i don't know what my future is
i don't even have an idea

my god
you know what scares me
you only live once
and this is my once
maybe i should do it right
but
i don't know what's right.