Perkins
Every time I drive to or from my work, I see the Perkins restaurant right next door. In the three years I've worked at the college (two years in the 90s, plus this last year), I've never eaten there--until tonight.
I don't mean to imply that I'd never eaten there at all, though. My friend Bob invited me to dinner there about thirteen years ago. He wasn't too sure of the place's name. "Pooches or Perkins or something like that." We decided the name started with a P, and that turned out to be enough to get me there. He was trying to sell me ... um ... Amways? Something like that. He brought his girlfriend, Stacey. They made a cute couple. I enjoyed the evening with them, but didn't buy anything.
Years passed. Bob and Stacey moved away, got married, had four kids. They moved back to this area and divorced. A year or so after that, Bob remarried. Maybe a year after that, Stacey moved in with a guy. So far as I know, they're all happy now. I haven't seen either one of them in months.
But around the time of their divorce--when I was going through a divorce, myself--Stacey made clear her attraction to me. She also made clear when it began: "I still remember meeting you that night at Perkins. It was all I could do to keep from vaulting over the table and landing in your lap."
I had no idea at the time that she'd even noticed me. She spent the entire meal snuggled up against Bob. Her behavior was perfectly appropriate.
So that got me wondering--and I'm thinking of it again tonight--how common this sort of situation might be. I don't think I'm a very approachable person. Even single, available women probably don't feel that they can just vault over a table and land in my lap. (Not that I'd want them to. I'd spill my drink, for one thing.) It's quite possible, I suppose, that lots of women feel very drawn to me, and I just never know about it.
Thinking about this now, I've decided it doesn't really matter. I know this:
1. Some women are attracted to me.
2. Some women are not attracted to me.
As long as my future wife ends up being in Category 1, I have nothing to worry about.
But wait. Aren't my odds better if 90% of women are in Category 1 than if 10% of women are? Actually, that doesn't matter, either. I've decided that my needs and wants are so unusual that only the guidance of God will send the right woman in my direction. And with His help, the odds don't matter.
So there we have it. In this as in so many other things, the answer is the same: Focus on God, and let the rest take care of itself.
I don't mean to imply that I'd never eaten there at all, though. My friend Bob invited me to dinner there about thirteen years ago. He wasn't too sure of the place's name. "Pooches or Perkins or something like that." We decided the name started with a P, and that turned out to be enough to get me there. He was trying to sell me ... um ... Amways? Something like that. He brought his girlfriend, Stacey. They made a cute couple. I enjoyed the evening with them, but didn't buy anything.
Years passed. Bob and Stacey moved away, got married, had four kids. They moved back to this area and divorced. A year or so after that, Bob remarried. Maybe a year after that, Stacey moved in with a guy. So far as I know, they're all happy now. I haven't seen either one of them in months.
But around the time of their divorce--when I was going through a divorce, myself--Stacey made clear her attraction to me. She also made clear when it began: "I still remember meeting you that night at Perkins. It was all I could do to keep from vaulting over the table and landing in your lap."
I had no idea at the time that she'd even noticed me. She spent the entire meal snuggled up against Bob. Her behavior was perfectly appropriate.
So that got me wondering--and I'm thinking of it again tonight--how common this sort of situation might be. I don't think I'm a very approachable person. Even single, available women probably don't feel that they can just vault over a table and land in my lap. (Not that I'd want them to. I'd spill my drink, for one thing.) It's quite possible, I suppose, that lots of women feel very drawn to me, and I just never know about it.
Thinking about this now, I've decided it doesn't really matter. I know this:
1. Some women are attracted to me.
2. Some women are not attracted to me.
As long as my future wife ends up being in Category 1, I have nothing to worry about.
But wait. Aren't my odds better if 90% of women are in Category 1 than if 10% of women are? Actually, that doesn't matter, either. I've decided that my needs and wants are so unusual that only the guidance of God will send the right woman in my direction. And with His help, the odds don't matter.
So there we have it. In this as in so many other things, the answer is the same: Focus on God, and let the rest take care of itself.