Thinking Too Much
Well I did a bad thing. I watched melodrama. Bad idea this time of year because a milestone comes around again. And it's a big number too. It shouldn't matter, but it does. Come back to that.
Or not.
I've been struggling for weeks with writing fiction. It used to come so easy, but now it feels like I'm forcing it. In particular on my fave plotline I got inspired by a format idea that has turned into a monster.
Anyways, TV adds are starting to appear for the Hobby Train Exhibition, which means its my birthday soon. When I was much smaller, those adds excited me. Now it appears to be a harbinger of sorts. Anyways, I'll be reaching an age where perception of you changes, particularly workplace perception.
The harbinger looks to represent a decision this time around. I have found a direction in life I've long been looking for. Two actually. Professionally and romantically. The combination of the two seems to represent to me that I need to give up, or at least reduce my pursuit of motorsport. I've gotten to a certain level in the sport, and stalled.
Anyways, these are my thoughts. Brings me to the melodrama. Apart from one of the actors being a 'Band of Brothers' alumni, 'What About Brian?' was pretty boring. Rosanna Arquette's husband is cremated in this episode and there is a generally feel of moving on with life. While while virtually every thirtysomething drama has this theme two or three times in a season, it, and the model train adds, struck somewhat of a chord.
Despite that however my thoughts rattle around without resolution.
I'm just getting old and finding it hard to deal with. Played a game of cricket with my work colleagues the other day. I used to be good. I used to be a fast bowler. Now I stumble and fall over. My batting skills have atrophied. I haven't practiced in years so maybe I should have expected it. But it came as a shock nonetheless and I'm in denial of my lost youth. Maybe its also a reminder that I need to regain some of that lost youth, rather than let myself wither through physical apathy.
Guess I'm just in a mood.
Anyways. It's 1am and I'm tired and more than a little wordy, I guess.
Or not.
I've been struggling for weeks with writing fiction. It used to come so easy, but now it feels like I'm forcing it. In particular on my fave plotline I got inspired by a format idea that has turned into a monster.
Anyways, TV adds are starting to appear for the Hobby Train Exhibition, which means its my birthday soon. When I was much smaller, those adds excited me. Now it appears to be a harbinger of sorts. Anyways, I'll be reaching an age where perception of you changes, particularly workplace perception.
The harbinger looks to represent a decision this time around. I have found a direction in life I've long been looking for. Two actually. Professionally and romantically. The combination of the two seems to represent to me that I need to give up, or at least reduce my pursuit of motorsport. I've gotten to a certain level in the sport, and stalled.
Anyways, these are my thoughts. Brings me to the melodrama. Apart from one of the actors being a 'Band of Brothers' alumni, 'What About Brian?' was pretty boring. Rosanna Arquette's husband is cremated in this episode and there is a generally feel of moving on with life. While while virtually every thirtysomething drama has this theme two or three times in a season, it, and the model train adds, struck somewhat of a chord.
Despite that however my thoughts rattle around without resolution.
I'm just getting old and finding it hard to deal with. Played a game of cricket with my work colleagues the other day. I used to be good. I used to be a fast bowler. Now I stumble and fall over. My batting skills have atrophied. I haven't practiced in years so maybe I should have expected it. But it came as a shock nonetheless and I'm in denial of my lost youth. Maybe its also a reminder that I need to regain some of that lost youth, rather than let myself wither through physical apathy.
Guess I'm just in a mood.
Anyways. It's 1am and I'm tired and more than a little wordy, I guess.