in you I feel so dirty, in you I crash cars
Yesterday, as most of you may know, was April 20, a basic smoke day for stoners, such as myself. We had a rather nice afternoon. Everyone stoped by to say "high"! My Duece-Doggy came down, too, which was really cool. She brought this girl with her who, as soon as she stepped in my doorway, I recognized. At first, I couldn't pinpoint where I knew this girl from.
She say to me "I remember you. Didn't you used to hang out at Greg Ritchie's?"
My jaw hit the floor. That's where she remembered me from. Of course, I asked her how he was doing, or if she had even talked to him at all. She told me that he is running from the cops. No suprise, more like an intense disappointment. He was doing really well, but I guess you can't change people. I promised myself that I'd never cry over him again, and I meant it. I will say this though, when she told me that he is running from the cops, my heart sank. It didn't make me sad, but I wanted to cry for him, not over him, if that makes any sense to anybody. It took a lot for me to get over that boy, and I'll always love him. He can come to me for anything, but I suppose his "selfish recovery" didn't work out so well for him.
::FATE::
I filled out a couple more applications yesterday. I filled out a couple more today too. I cannot believe it's been almost three weeks, and I haven't has so much as a bite. I'm a bit frustrated, but I'm trying not to let it get my spirts down. Everything will work itself out, I'm just really really antsy.
I'm really excited about going back to school. The thought has been what's keeping me in decent spirits in lou of the recent events. Ash and I are going to take spanish together, so that is going to be Shibby!!! haha! I plan on taking some creative writing classes, and mostly English-based classes throughout the rest of school. It's something I know I'm good at, with potential to improve. My mom was a writer, Nikki is a writer, it runs through my blood, or so I'm told.
Here's my plan: to grow as a person. I've cut all ties with Darren because I don't want my dome to ever consider him an option again. He makes me crazy, he makes me think I'm not good enough for anything. As strange as it sounds, the people who love the most in live seem to be the quickest to let you down. It hurts to look in the mirror and question yourself, your whole life just because someone claims to know you well enough to put their two cents in. As for Ritchie and Brandon, I've all but given up on those two. Boys will be boys, and those boys will stay BOYS forever. Why do I insist opon attaching myself to people with a natural Peter Pan complex?
I'm happy right now. That's all that matter I guess.
All these damn bumps in the road of life have got me all fucked up....
She say to me "I remember you. Didn't you used to hang out at Greg Ritchie's?"
My jaw hit the floor. That's where she remembered me from. Of course, I asked her how he was doing, or if she had even talked to him at all. She told me that he is running from the cops. No suprise, more like an intense disappointment. He was doing really well, but I guess you can't change people. I promised myself that I'd never cry over him again, and I meant it. I will say this though, when she told me that he is running from the cops, my heart sank. It didn't make me sad, but I wanted to cry for him, not over him, if that makes any sense to anybody. It took a lot for me to get over that boy, and I'll always love him. He can come to me for anything, but I suppose his "selfish recovery" didn't work out so well for him.
::FATE::
I filled out a couple more applications yesterday. I filled out a couple more today too. I cannot believe it's been almost three weeks, and I haven't has so much as a bite. I'm a bit frustrated, but I'm trying not to let it get my spirts down. Everything will work itself out, I'm just really really antsy.
I'm really excited about going back to school. The thought has been what's keeping me in decent spirits in lou of the recent events. Ash and I are going to take spanish together, so that is going to be Shibby!!! haha! I plan on taking some creative writing classes, and mostly English-based classes throughout the rest of school. It's something I know I'm good at, with potential to improve. My mom was a writer, Nikki is a writer, it runs through my blood, or so I'm told.
Here's my plan: to grow as a person. I've cut all ties with Darren because I don't want my dome to ever consider him an option again. He makes me crazy, he makes me think I'm not good enough for anything. As strange as it sounds, the people who love the most in live seem to be the quickest to let you down. It hurts to look in the mirror and question yourself, your whole life just because someone claims to know you well enough to put their two cents in. As for Ritchie and Brandon, I've all but given up on those two. Boys will be boys, and those boys will stay BOYS forever. Why do I insist opon attaching myself to people with a natural Peter Pan complex?
I'm happy right now. That's all that matter I guess.
All these damn bumps in the road of life have got me all fucked up....