grr at myself.
i feel like I AM ALWAYS WAITING FOR LIFE TO START
i am a waste of space.
today i did nothing. i did not even leave my apartment. i just sat here. i didnt interract with anyone. I wish i could erase today. grab a huge magic marker and draw over it, better yet, i would use a sharpie. sharpie's have always been my favorite.
i wonder what i would do, how i would be, if certain people were not in my life. its scary to think about, ya know? but how much do i do because of other people. how fucked up is that? other people, not my own self, are leading me to do things, live a life, and i do. sometimes others see and point it out, but then we cant get along bc how would that ever work? you cant be good friends with someone who you really truly feel makes the wrong decisions. you are acquiantances but not good friends. it will shrivel up and go away no matter how hard you work at it. you just kid yourself.
but what am i supposed to do anyway? honestly, it might take a miracle for me to start anything. and i hate myself for that.
ps, this is the maid speaking. :-D
i am a waste of space.
today i did nothing. i did not even leave my apartment. i just sat here. i didnt interract with anyone. I wish i could erase today. grab a huge magic marker and draw over it, better yet, i would use a sharpie. sharpie's have always been my favorite.
i wonder what i would do, how i would be, if certain people were not in my life. its scary to think about, ya know? but how much do i do because of other people. how fucked up is that? other people, not my own self, are leading me to do things, live a life, and i do. sometimes others see and point it out, but then we cant get along bc how would that ever work? you cant be good friends with someone who you really truly feel makes the wrong decisions. you are acquiantances but not good friends. it will shrivel up and go away no matter how hard you work at it. you just kid yourself.
but what am i supposed to do anyway? honestly, it might take a miracle for me to start anything. and i hate myself for that.
ps, this is the maid speaking. :-D