dry your ties
i think i've developed some sort of mutated cold. a viral juggernaut hell-bent on decimating my precious throat ("the sailors delight") and nasal passages. never before have i seen so much phlegm in the bottom of my sink basin whilst shaving/brushing my teeth/existing. on more than one occasion i've delevered concise and meaningful oratories containing little more than what appeared to be blood and some form of alien life, as yet unnamed... although i'm hoping to call him "steve" and charge him rent.
in other news, i have a man living in my backyard. "creeps mcgimmemoney", as i like to call him, is quite the character... and on more than one occasion has offered to suck me off in exchange for $10 when i take out the trash. needless to say, i've been letting it build up until the can overflows... at which point i sprint to the dumpster at top speed... hoping and praying that his quite possibly leprous lips stay the hell away from my member.
in other news, i have a man living in my backyard. "creeps mcgimmemoney", as i like to call him, is quite the character... and on more than one occasion has offered to suck me off in exchange for $10 when i take out the trash. needless to say, i've been letting it build up until the can overflows... at which point i sprint to the dumpster at top speed... hoping and praying that his quite possibly leprous lips stay the hell away from my member.