make the dreams stop...
I wake up at night getting ready to go to work and all i ever wanna do is cry....im tired of my dreams...i dream he calls me....i dream he's comming home....that he calls me 2 tell me he loves me...that things didint have 2 b this way....why did i ever let him join?...the pain i feel i cant take it nemore.....i write him emails telling him but i know i shouldnt i know he gets stressed i know i gotta stop i miss everything....
i miss falling asleep with him every night laying on his chest and him holding me...and me listining 2 his heartbeat....while b101 (love station) plays softly in the backround.....and once he falls asleep....me slowly pulling away just so he could pull me closer 2 him....i miss waking up in the morning and walking 2 school 2gether standing in the rain just holding each other...going 2 the movies 2gether....pillow fighting and spending pretty much every second 2gether...sitting in his kitchen making the weirdest foods...or when id make him mac&cheese at his house while he sat at the table reading the newspaper like we were married....
or when in the begining hed throw rocks at my window and id lay at my window and look down at him every summer while he would just talk 2 me...or the one time it was raining and he begged me 2 come out for 1 minute just so he could kiss me....he wouldnt leave till i did....or how wed never hang up until we said we loved each other and blew each other a kiss....or when hed come over my house every xmas..and wed go in a rooom by ourselves and just spend the rest of the night together talking and holding each other....
i miss sitting over his house just playin playstation with him for hours...and playin that stupid army game where we kept dying over and over...and hed make us hotpockets and wed fight over them cuz hed only have 1.
or when his little niece would come over and me and her would gang up on him and beat him up....or when we would go out 2 the mall with her and it felt like she was ours.....
or evertime my parents would fight or something went wrong at home and wed leave the house 2 come c each other and id just run up 2 him and hed hold me while i cried on his shoulder....i miss him always being there 4 me....
i miss play fighting in the snow with him i miss everything.....i miss kissing him so bad....holding his hand....falling asleep on him on the bus.....or when we went 2 dorney park and we were kissing in the pool and hiding from my dad....or when on the drive home i had 2 get out 2 throw up and u got out of the car wit me and held my hair back....while saying ewww..
or when we went 2 the prom 2gether and we spent that whole night 2gether and we danced and we were kissing and it felt like everyone was watching us....
or when wed watch football in ur room and id want attention so id stand infront of the tv or turn it off and wed fight for like 30 minutes turnin the tv on and off....or when ud play playstion and id lay on ur lap.....
i miss u tellin me 2 stop singing.....but after leaving tell me how much u really miss hearing it...i miss having u in my life.....i miss feeling safe i miss being happy...i wish this pain would go away i dont know how much longer i can take this pain......
i know u will b home...but it doesnt change nething because u will b leaving again......ur bettering urself i know....but it used 2 b just a year ago that u were doing this 4 both of us...and now ur sayin u need 2 do this alone....and ur telling me 2 move on...i dont wanna move on.....it hurts so bad i become numb....
u call me still....im taking care of ur mom while ur gone...u write me.....i know u love me...i know u miss me...but u dont say it.....u never say it...i know why u dont say it...i know why u pretend im ur friend....
i know u put how u feel about me in the back of ur head...because if u say u miss me u will break down and start thinking of me constantly again...i know this is what u need 2 do..and u cant b stressed while ur in iraq...but.....i need u...i cant help it...it might b selfish but i do....ive tryed living this supposed happy life without u in it but it doesnt exist
Laura
i miss falling asleep with him every night laying on his chest and him holding me...and me listining 2 his heartbeat....while b101 (love station) plays softly in the backround.....and once he falls asleep....me slowly pulling away just so he could pull me closer 2 him....i miss waking up in the morning and walking 2 school 2gether standing in the rain just holding each other...going 2 the movies 2gether....pillow fighting and spending pretty much every second 2gether...sitting in his kitchen making the weirdest foods...or when id make him mac&cheese at his house while he sat at the table reading the newspaper like we were married....
or when in the begining hed throw rocks at my window and id lay at my window and look down at him every summer while he would just talk 2 me...or the one time it was raining and he begged me 2 come out for 1 minute just so he could kiss me....he wouldnt leave till i did....or how wed never hang up until we said we loved each other and blew each other a kiss....or when hed come over my house every xmas..and wed go in a rooom by ourselves and just spend the rest of the night together talking and holding each other....
i miss sitting over his house just playin playstation with him for hours...and playin that stupid army game where we kept dying over and over...and hed make us hotpockets and wed fight over them cuz hed only have 1.
or when his little niece would come over and me and her would gang up on him and beat him up....or when we would go out 2 the mall with her and it felt like she was ours.....
or evertime my parents would fight or something went wrong at home and wed leave the house 2 come c each other and id just run up 2 him and hed hold me while i cried on his shoulder....i miss him always being there 4 me....
i miss play fighting in the snow with him i miss everything.....i miss kissing him so bad....holding his hand....falling asleep on him on the bus.....or when we went 2 dorney park and we were kissing in the pool and hiding from my dad....or when on the drive home i had 2 get out 2 throw up and u got out of the car wit me and held my hair back....while saying ewww..
or when we went 2 the prom 2gether and we spent that whole night 2gether and we danced and we were kissing and it felt like everyone was watching us....
or when wed watch football in ur room and id want attention so id stand infront of the tv or turn it off and wed fight for like 30 minutes turnin the tv on and off....or when ud play playstion and id lay on ur lap.....
i miss u tellin me 2 stop singing.....but after leaving tell me how much u really miss hearing it...i miss having u in my life.....i miss feeling safe i miss being happy...i wish this pain would go away i dont know how much longer i can take this pain......
i know u will b home...but it doesnt change nething because u will b leaving again......ur bettering urself i know....but it used 2 b just a year ago that u were doing this 4 both of us...and now ur sayin u need 2 do this alone....and ur telling me 2 move on...i dont wanna move on.....it hurts so bad i become numb....
u call me still....im taking care of ur mom while ur gone...u write me.....i know u love me...i know u miss me...but u dont say it.....u never say it...i know why u dont say it...i know why u pretend im ur friend....
i know u put how u feel about me in the back of ur head...because if u say u miss me u will break down and start thinking of me constantly again...i know this is what u need 2 do..and u cant b stressed while ur in iraq...but.....i need u...i cant help it...it might b selfish but i do....ive tryed living this supposed happy life without u in it but it doesnt exist
Laura