The future is too far away
So many things have been swirling around in my head. I'm having trouble focusing! Thank God I found a planner today while I was cleaning. I am happy because my apartment is ... CLEAN!!
Work is the bulk of my brain tornado. It's a long story, but basically my boss is out for a few months and so I'm taking the place of her AND doing my job. With a brand new store opening in 2 months! It's a lot of pressure but I'm going to ask for a raise and hopefully that'll help.
The biggest thing occupying my mind (or at least the space that my brain has left after it is filled up with work!) is that there is kind of this thing that may or may not be happening. A good friend wants to start a Christian community on a farm in Massachusetts (close to Boston). It seems as though it's in the middle of nowhere, but there are at least 15 Whole Foods within 40 miles of the town! Her sister's boyfriend's family owns the farm and will be renting it for very cheap. I have always DREAMED of living in a Christian community with people that believe the same things as me. I'm not knocking others, just saying it's nice have something in common with other people. The thought of having open and honest Bible studies, praying together and getting other people's opinions on things. Having some kind of common bond with the people whom you spend your time.
It's something I don't have here - community. But I am really learning to like it here. Maybe even *love* it. I finally have a good job that affords me to live by myself. I REALLY enjoy my alone time now a days, but wish I had more people around. A lot of my friends have left but that doesn't mean I can't make new ones? (Ooooh, I'm being so optimistic. must be the nice weather!) It's my own fault for not having a community here. I'm sure there are some lying around, I just need to get out there and find them! It's so much work to become established somewhere and then pick up and move again. Sure, I'm feeling antsy but reality sets in when you try and figure out what you'll do with your cats, where all your stuff will go, how much it will cost. I mean, if this is what God wants me to do, I'll pick up and go. I'm really not feeling a strong pull towards it. Things are just so up in the air about it, I'm sure I'll have a better idea of what is going on when I talk to Anna about more in depth. I just HATE WINTER so much, and up there it's winter. A lot. I feel such a strong pull to the South and I'm not sure what that means. Oh, did I mention this might all happen in AUGUST!?!?!
A big bummer is that it looks as though Europe is out of the question this summer. I just can't seem to get there. The beginning of 2009 has set me back financially (significantly) and saving the money just isn't happening right now. I AM going to try to go to Memphis in the fall. I wish I could go RIGHT NOW honestly. It's still all I think about and I need to go down there to figure out why that is exactly. I just HAVE to go to Memphis. I HAVE TO.
Alas, I am going to Kalamazoo instead. It's all about the people I'm going to see, NOT the place. I have never been to Michigan though, so I can cross it off my "visit 50 states by 50" list. PLUS I GET TO SEE MY BEST FRIEND IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD!!!! I am so lucky to have such great friends, I just wish we could all live in the same damn place.
Ok Erin, STOP WITH THE POSITIVITY!! Weird and awesome all at the same time.
Current Music: Pandora playlist of CSNY, James Taylor, Neil Young, Cat Stevens and other assorted awesome people
Work is the bulk of my brain tornado. It's a long story, but basically my boss is out for a few months and so I'm taking the place of her AND doing my job. With a brand new store opening in 2 months! It's a lot of pressure but I'm going to ask for a raise and hopefully that'll help.
The biggest thing occupying my mind (or at least the space that my brain has left after it is filled up with work!) is that there is kind of this thing that may or may not be happening. A good friend wants to start a Christian community on a farm in Massachusetts (close to Boston). It seems as though it's in the middle of nowhere, but there are at least 15 Whole Foods within 40 miles of the town! Her sister's boyfriend's family owns the farm and will be renting it for very cheap. I have always DREAMED of living in a Christian community with people that believe the same things as me. I'm not knocking others, just saying it's nice have something in common with other people. The thought of having open and honest Bible studies, praying together and getting other people's opinions on things. Having some kind of common bond with the people whom you spend your time.
It's something I don't have here - community. But I am really learning to like it here. Maybe even *love* it. I finally have a good job that affords me to live by myself. I REALLY enjoy my alone time now a days, but wish I had more people around. A lot of my friends have left but that doesn't mean I can't make new ones? (Ooooh, I'm being so optimistic. must be the nice weather!) It's my own fault for not having a community here. I'm sure there are some lying around, I just need to get out there and find them! It's so much work to become established somewhere and then pick up and move again. Sure, I'm feeling antsy but reality sets in when you try and figure out what you'll do with your cats, where all your stuff will go, how much it will cost. I mean, if this is what God wants me to do, I'll pick up and go. I'm really not feeling a strong pull towards it. Things are just so up in the air about it, I'm sure I'll have a better idea of what is going on when I talk to Anna about more in depth. I just HATE WINTER so much, and up there it's winter. A lot. I feel such a strong pull to the South and I'm not sure what that means. Oh, did I mention this might all happen in AUGUST!?!?!
A big bummer is that it looks as though Europe is out of the question this summer. I just can't seem to get there. The beginning of 2009 has set me back financially (significantly) and saving the money just isn't happening right now. I AM going to try to go to Memphis in the fall. I wish I could go RIGHT NOW honestly. It's still all I think about and I need to go down there to figure out why that is exactly. I just HAVE to go to Memphis. I HAVE TO.
Alas, I am going to Kalamazoo instead. It's all about the people I'm going to see, NOT the place. I have never been to Michigan though, so I can cross it off my "visit 50 states by 50" list. PLUS I GET TO SEE MY BEST FRIEND IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD!!!! I am so lucky to have such great friends, I just wish we could all live in the same damn place.
Ok Erin, STOP WITH THE POSITIVITY!! Weird and awesome all at the same time.
Current Music: Pandora playlist of CSNY, James Taylor, Neil Young, Cat Stevens and other assorted awesome people