Fic: Anderson In Da Hood
Title: Anderson In Da Hood
Series: The Daily Show, AC 360, Countdown with Keith Olbermann, Nightly News with Brian Williams
Rating: PG
Word count: 1123
Warnings: None, really.
Disclaimer: All television shows, movies, books, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for-profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual.
Summary: Anderson is being tricked into taking a trip to shady parts of a political convention, and is met by the even shadier Daily Show news team.
Author's note: This is my first fic in the Fake News fandom. It was inspired by Anderson's adorableness in this clip. (Mods, I may need an author tag).
Anderson knew he shouldn’t have gone off to get a bottle of coke on his own. These conventions were huge, and you never knew who you might run into. John King had said to stay in pairs if you left the CNN headquarters, but Anderson was a grown man, and the soda machine was only in the room across the hallway. He’d been to Iraq, surely he could cross the hallway of a political convention on his own?
Turns out, he couldn’t. He was feet away from the machine when a hand grabbed hold of his shoulder.
“What’s this? Little Andy out on his very own?” Jason Jones, more commonly known as ‘The Jone Bone’ . “Aren’t you scared that the big, bad Fox might try to eat you?” Jone Bone tipped his sunglasses down so he could look at Anderson over the rim. “If they don’t, I might,” he grinned wolfishly. “You up for it?” Anderson’s reply was less eloquent and more of a nervous stutter, which Jason didn’t seem to take as a brush off.
“Tell you what, Andy. That machine’s broken,” Jone Bone lied smoothly. “I’ll show you one that’s working. Besides, if you stick to me, I’ll keep the Fox at bay. O’Reilly hasn’t dared come near me since the time I approached him with a loofah and an attire sticks-in-the-mud like Jon would call ‘inappropriate in the workplace’.”
“I’m sorry, but I really should get back to my desk,” Anderson tried nervously, but Jason would have none of that.
“Relax. It’ll only take a second.” Anderson wasn’t given much of a choice, really, as Jason wrapped an arm around his shoulders and firmly guided him out of the building. Anderson could feel his anxiety rise to new levels when he realised where Jone Bone was taking him. The Daily Show bus. He approached slowly next to Jason, hands clasped neatly in front of him. Their appearances, with the hoodies, wife-beaters and bandannas made them stick out like a sore thumb in a sea of neatly dressed men in dark suits not unlike Anderson’s, yet he was the one feeling like the outsider. At least Jason was dressed in a black suit as well. He nervously scratched his neck as ‘Little Larry’ Wilmore got up to get a better look at him, his expression clearly stating displeased confusion over Anderson’s presences. Rob ‘Rigglez’ Riggle set down his weights to point threateningly at Anderson as he passed, and suddenly Aasif ‘Bad Aas’ Mandvi was in his face, staking out his territory by bumping Anderson’s shoulder with his muscled chest. He was pretty sure he’d drizzled some ashes from his cigarette on Anderson’s suit as well.
“Isn’t that the golden boy of CNN?” John ‘The Orphan’ Oliver asked, flashing his golden grills as if he was about to bite.
“More like the golden puppy,” Bad Aas sneered, bumping into Anderson yet again to make a point.
“Are you gonna bark all day, little doggie, or are you gonna bite?” Rigglez asked as he circled Anderson, his voice carrying a clear message. Back down. “Cause if you’re thinking about biting, I’m gonna do THIS!” he shouted the last part, throwing a punch at Anderson, pulling it when it was only inches from hitting Anderson square in the eye.
“How do you like a taste of a real news team, Anderson?” Jone Bone asked, eyeing Anderson up the way he always did everyone. “Because we’re the Alpha dog of news.”
“Yeah!” Wyatt ‘Y@’ Cenac shouted in agreement. “You’re not gonna keep us down, whitey!”
“Wyatt, you can’t call him that,” The Orphan Oliver corrected Y@ in his semi-polite, British way.
“Why not? Look at his hair, man!” Y@ shrugged, pointing at Anderson’s silver locks.
“Oh, you mean...” The Orphan Oliver gasped as realization struck. “Well, that’s fine then. Carry on.” Anderson wanted to just disappear. He wanted to be back at the CNN news desk, and swore to himself that the next time he got thirsty, he’d just have coffee like everyone else, no matter how unnatural hot drinks felt to him. He tried taking a step backwards, hoping he could inch himself out of the situation without them noticing. Unfortunately, he backed straight into Rigglez who grabbed him round the waist and spun him once in a full circle.
“Oh... Oh my,” was all Anderson managed to get out, in a rather unmanly way, even.
“That’s what we call an AC 360°,” Rigglez sniggered, cheered on by a round of ‘Oh yeah’ and high fives. Bad Aas even slapped Anderson’s palm without Anderson really having tried to be part of the celebration of his humiliation, but when Bad Aas offered his palm in return, Anderson didn’t dare do anything but slap it back.
“Had your fun, boys?” a deep, booming voice asked, and Anderson spun on his heel, only to see Keith Olbermann standing a few feet away, like a knight in shining armour.
“Back off, Olbermann,” Rigglez shouted, striking his chest in a show of force most commonly seen in the silverback gorilla.
“I think you’re the ones that are going to do the backing off here,” Keith said, keeping his calm. “Stop bothering Cooper and let him go back to his own news team.”
“Says who?” Y@ shouted, throwing his head back as he did so, his entire attitude screaming forced carelessness.
“Yeah, ‘oo?” The Orphan Oliver cheered, slipping deeper into his cockney accent.
“At the moment, just me,” Keith admitted. “But Brian here,” he turned his head slightly, and everyone’s attention was drawn to Brian Williams, who was smiling at them all, holding a cell phone. “He’s got ‘Big Stew’s’ number, and you know that Big Stew doesn’t like it if Brian isn’t happy. Do you really want him to make that call?”
“Whoa, whoa, whoa there, gentlemen,” Little Larry suddenly said, taking leadership of the little band of rebel news readers. “There’s no need to go that far. We were just having some fun with little Andy here, but if he’s not having fun...”
“Yeah, if he’s not having fun, we’re not going to stop him from leaving,” The Orphan Oliver agreed, backing Little Larry up. They all backed away from Anderson to show their good will. Anderson hesitantly walked away.
“Thanks,” he whispered with a smile as he walked past Keith.
“You owe me one, Anderson,” Keith told him back.
“I know.”
“Gentlemen, you may go back to your business,” Keith announced, and Brian pocketed his phone. The Daily Show news team grudgingly went back to what they’d been doing before The Jone Bone had brought them Anderson to pick on. Anderson, on the other side, was smiling broadly all the way back to his CNN desk. He was really looking forwards to repaying Keith.
Series: The Daily Show, AC 360, Countdown with Keith Olbermann, Nightly News with Brian Williams
Rating: PG
Word count: 1123
Warnings: None, really.
Disclaimer: All television shows, movies, books, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for-profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual.
Summary: Anderson is being tricked into taking a trip to shady parts of a political convention, and is met by the even shadier Daily Show news team.
Author's note: This is my first fic in the Fake News fandom. It was inspired by Anderson's adorableness in this clip. (Mods, I may need an author tag).
Anderson knew he shouldn’t have gone off to get a bottle of coke on his own. These conventions were huge, and you never knew who you might run into. John King had said to stay in pairs if you left the CNN headquarters, but Anderson was a grown man, and the soda machine was only in the room across the hallway. He’d been to Iraq, surely he could cross the hallway of a political convention on his own?
Turns out, he couldn’t. He was feet away from the machine when a hand grabbed hold of his shoulder.
“What’s this? Little Andy out on his very own?” Jason Jones, more commonly known as ‘The Jone Bone’ . “Aren’t you scared that the big, bad Fox might try to eat you?” Jone Bone tipped his sunglasses down so he could look at Anderson over the rim. “If they don’t, I might,” he grinned wolfishly. “You up for it?” Anderson’s reply was less eloquent and more of a nervous stutter, which Jason didn’t seem to take as a brush off.
“Tell you what, Andy. That machine’s broken,” Jone Bone lied smoothly. “I’ll show you one that’s working. Besides, if you stick to me, I’ll keep the Fox at bay. O’Reilly hasn’t dared come near me since the time I approached him with a loofah and an attire sticks-in-the-mud like Jon would call ‘inappropriate in the workplace’.”
“I’m sorry, but I really should get back to my desk,” Anderson tried nervously, but Jason would have none of that.
“Relax. It’ll only take a second.” Anderson wasn’t given much of a choice, really, as Jason wrapped an arm around his shoulders and firmly guided him out of the building. Anderson could feel his anxiety rise to new levels when he realised where Jone Bone was taking him. The Daily Show bus. He approached slowly next to Jason, hands clasped neatly in front of him. Their appearances, with the hoodies, wife-beaters and bandannas made them stick out like a sore thumb in a sea of neatly dressed men in dark suits not unlike Anderson’s, yet he was the one feeling like the outsider. At least Jason was dressed in a black suit as well. He nervously scratched his neck as ‘Little Larry’ Wilmore got up to get a better look at him, his expression clearly stating displeased confusion over Anderson’s presences. Rob ‘Rigglez’ Riggle set down his weights to point threateningly at Anderson as he passed, and suddenly Aasif ‘Bad Aas’ Mandvi was in his face, staking out his territory by bumping Anderson’s shoulder with his muscled chest. He was pretty sure he’d drizzled some ashes from his cigarette on Anderson’s suit as well.
“Isn’t that the golden boy of CNN?” John ‘The Orphan’ Oliver asked, flashing his golden grills as if he was about to bite.
“More like the golden puppy,” Bad Aas sneered, bumping into Anderson yet again to make a point.
“Are you gonna bark all day, little doggie, or are you gonna bite?” Rigglez asked as he circled Anderson, his voice carrying a clear message. Back down. “Cause if you’re thinking about biting, I’m gonna do THIS!” he shouted the last part, throwing a punch at Anderson, pulling it when it was only inches from hitting Anderson square in the eye.
“How do you like a taste of a real news team, Anderson?” Jone Bone asked, eyeing Anderson up the way he always did everyone. “Because we’re the Alpha dog of news.”
“Yeah!” Wyatt ‘Y@’ Cenac shouted in agreement. “You’re not gonna keep us down, whitey!”
“Wyatt, you can’t call him that,” The Orphan Oliver corrected Y@ in his semi-polite, British way.
“Why not? Look at his hair, man!” Y@ shrugged, pointing at Anderson’s silver locks.
“Oh, you mean...” The Orphan Oliver gasped as realization struck. “Well, that’s fine then. Carry on.” Anderson wanted to just disappear. He wanted to be back at the CNN news desk, and swore to himself that the next time he got thirsty, he’d just have coffee like everyone else, no matter how unnatural hot drinks felt to him. He tried taking a step backwards, hoping he could inch himself out of the situation without them noticing. Unfortunately, he backed straight into Rigglez who grabbed him round the waist and spun him once in a full circle.
“Oh... Oh my,” was all Anderson managed to get out, in a rather unmanly way, even.
“That’s what we call an AC 360°,” Rigglez sniggered, cheered on by a round of ‘Oh yeah’ and high fives. Bad Aas even slapped Anderson’s palm without Anderson really having tried to be part of the celebration of his humiliation, but when Bad Aas offered his palm in return, Anderson didn’t dare do anything but slap it back.
“Had your fun, boys?” a deep, booming voice asked, and Anderson spun on his heel, only to see Keith Olbermann standing a few feet away, like a knight in shining armour.
“Back off, Olbermann,” Rigglez shouted, striking his chest in a show of force most commonly seen in the silverback gorilla.
“I think you’re the ones that are going to do the backing off here,” Keith said, keeping his calm. “Stop bothering Cooper and let him go back to his own news team.”
“Says who?” Y@ shouted, throwing his head back as he did so, his entire attitude screaming forced carelessness.
“Yeah, ‘oo?” The Orphan Oliver cheered, slipping deeper into his cockney accent.
“At the moment, just me,” Keith admitted. “But Brian here,” he turned his head slightly, and everyone’s attention was drawn to Brian Williams, who was smiling at them all, holding a cell phone. “He’s got ‘Big Stew’s’ number, and you know that Big Stew doesn’t like it if Brian isn’t happy. Do you really want him to make that call?”
“Whoa, whoa, whoa there, gentlemen,” Little Larry suddenly said, taking leadership of the little band of rebel news readers. “There’s no need to go that far. We were just having some fun with little Andy here, but if he’s not having fun...”
“Yeah, if he’s not having fun, we’re not going to stop him from leaving,” The Orphan Oliver agreed, backing Little Larry up. They all backed away from Anderson to show their good will. Anderson hesitantly walked away.
“Thanks,” he whispered with a smile as he walked past Keith.
“You owe me one, Anderson,” Keith told him back.
“I know.”
“Gentlemen, you may go back to your business,” Keith announced, and Brian pocketed his phone. The Daily Show news team grudgingly went back to what they’d been doing before The Jone Bone had brought them Anderson to pick on. Anderson, on the other side, was smiling broadly all the way back to his CNN desk. He was really looking forwards to repaying Keith.