The Patriots Keeper Part 4/?

[meteorprime]

I don't like this chapter... that's why I've been avoiding posting it.
Also thanks for the advice on the last chapter reviews! I probably haven't followed it as my brain shuts down when I re-read my own work so feel free to poke me in the eye!

+Badly written angst this chapter, I apologize.

Disclaimer! I've done ZERO research! + Un-beat'd!

Comments

[sailorptah]

What the hell is this fic. I love it so much.

Of course Stephen would fly into a closed window. Jon showing him movies is precious (no pun intended), as is Stephen wanting the DVD because it's shiny, and, aww, ridiculous hair-chewing.

A couple of typos --
* There are some paragraphs in the beginning where the sentences don't have periods.
* Dialogue should be in the same paragraph as any sentences about the person saying it (so “Mine’s bigger.” should be combined with Stephen drinking orange juice, not Jon giggling).
really wants is = really wants it
its Aasif = it's Aasif
that nights show = that night's show
rapped up = wrapped up
over very head = over every head
and dance = and danced
Darth = Darth Vader, or just Vader ("Darth" is a title, it's like saying "President" instead of "President Obama" or "Obama")
doesn’t’ = doesn't
doorway arms = doorway, arms

Of course an American dystopia that comes down hard on Jon is going to be even worse on Aasif D: Really glad they get him back, and that the whole team rallies around him.

Jon's struggle over his feelings is both amusing and baffling -- he worries about Stephen's gender and relative innocence, but not about the fact that Stephen has a beak and talons?

adlkas;ld Stephen offering Jon a dead seagull. He's like a proud cat. "Look at this present I brought! See, I killed it just for you!" Followed by more shiny things. And a puppy. Lucky for everyone he didn't accidentally impale the puppy in the process.

...also trippy is the way Jon goes back and forth between lusting after Stephen and treating him like an unusually intelligent stray. (Although to be fair, it's not that different from the best way to manage canon Stephen XD)

Stephen + unicorn shirts = OTP.

Still loving all the birdlike tics. Demanding preening, nipping when offended, chirruping when anxious.

And building the most disastrous nest ever, augh, Stephen, why are you so terrible at this. If only he'd noticed that Jon likes things to work, that a broken object is no good even if the pieces are still shiny...

Stephen had better figure out a way to make this up to Jon, that's all I can say. (And possibly revolutionize the political system? But first, the apology for Jon.)

[meteorprime]

This is what happens when I write late at night! Grr! Thanks ;)