The President's Dilemma COMPLETE
Title: The President's Dilemma Pt. 3
Characters: Jon Stewart, "Stephen Colbert", Jimmy Kimmel, Jimmy Fallon, Craig Ferguson
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: A few curses?
Summary: Jon Stewart, in a reality where he is the president, faces a difficult decision that affects our country, our freedom, or more specifically, Stephen Colbert.
Author's Note: This is my first fanfic in this community so comments would be extremely helpful! Also, do you want more from this universe? I have lots of ideas but I want to make sure it is wanted first.
Disclaimer: All television shows, movies, books, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for-profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual.
Previous Parts: 1 2
The Oval Office- Early Afternoon
Jon sat behind his desk, which was considerably cleaner than yesterday. He was currently doing the crossword.
“Hmm... three down is a word meaning ‘dutifully reverent’,” he muttered. “Pious, maybe?”
Jon scribbled down the word on his paper. There was a brief knock on the door before it swung open.
“Jon! Jon!” Jimmy Kimmel yelled.
“Next time, can you wait to open the door after I’ve let you in?” Jon sighed.
“Sure I’ll do that,” Jimmy muttered distractedly . “Anyway, remember that press conference I had earlier today?”
Jon nodded and Jimmy continued.
“Well, I did what Stephen said and told them all this bullshit about how we are working our hardest, and we are getting somewhere close to eliminating the threat, and- and...”
Jimmy stopped to catch his breath and Jon leaned forward expectantly.
“And?” Jon asked impatiently.
“It worked!” Jimmy exclaimed. “They ate every word of it! I really need to thank Stephen later. He made my job ten times easier...”
Jon smiled, just a bit. Well, it seems that Stephen could be useful after all. Even though it was advice for the best way to lie, Stephen helped Jimmy in a way Jon never could. That had to count for something, didn’t it?
Jon took a deep breath. Maybe because of this advice Jimmy would have a different opinion of Stephen than most of the country.
“What’s the matter?” Jimmy asked after Jon was silent for a moment too long.
“Nothing. It’s just...what do you think of Stephen?” Jon asked.
Jimmy thought for a moment and said, “He’s...um, I know that everyone thinks that he is an arrogant bastard, but he means well. I get that he’s a ultra conservative, but his beliefs haven’t caused any harm, right?”
“But they could,” Jon argued.
“But that’s where you come in,” Jimmy retorted. “You stop him when he goes too far.”
Jon sighed. Jimmy had a good point but... “I can’t control Stephen 24/7. He’ll get out of reach eventually. Remember that fit he had on Meet the Press last Sunday?”
“So? That’s what security is for. Anyway, I think you can handle Stephen just fine. You guys have been best friends for years without any major conflicts and besides, he’s your vice president! I can’t believe he’ll be fine with not being the one in charge around here, especially when the president is a liberal.”
Jon leaned back in his chair. Jimmy was right. Stephen hasn’t been too uncontrollable lately, and when he was, Jon just had to appear and he would calm down. Which led Jon to believe that Stephen was just being angry to get Jon’s attention. That would be easy to fix, and then maybe there would be some normalcy in the White House. Probably not.
Jon suddenly gave Jimmy a wide grin and gave him a hug. “Thank you Jimmy! I know what to do with Stephen!”
Jimmy, who didn’t know about Stephen situation, said hesitantly, “Uh...you’re welcome?”
Jon walked Jimmy to the door and pushed Jimmy out of the office. “Go! Tell Stephen to meet me here at nine!” Jon said excitedly.
“Why, what’s happening?” Jimmy asked.
Jon smiles at Jimmy. “Good things. Good things are happening.” Not Stephen being fired, that’s for sure. That’s the last thing we need.
Jon couldn’t wait to tell Stephen the good news.
***888***888***
The Oval Office- 9:04 P.M.
Jon tapped impatiently on his desk and glared at the clock across the room. Every few seconds he glanced at the door and, just to make sure the clock was correct, his watch. After a few minutes of this he sighed and yelled at no one in particular, “C’mon Stephen, get in here already!”
Jon jumped up as someone knocked the door. He quickly sits down and said, “Come on in,” while grinning so wide his face ached.
Stephen came into the room, looking worriedly at Jon as he sat front of his desk. “Jon, Jimmy told me to come here. Is everything okay?”
“Everything’s okay,” Jon reassured him, still smiling, “Better than okay, in fact.”
Stephen didn’t seem convinced. “What did you need to talk with me about?”
“Something very important,” Jon began. He took a deep a breath, and Stephen looked at him in concern.
“What is it?” he asked fearfully.
“In the light of your recent...interactions with the cooks,” Jon said, “Craig made some remarks on how dysfunctional you are and...”
“No, no it can’t be...,” Stephen muttered in fear.
“He said that half of America doesn’t even know why you’re the vice president and it got me thinking, I don’t even know why we’re friends...,” Jon continued.
“Jon, are you firing me?” Stephen blurted out.
Whoops, Stephen has gotten the wrong idea. “Stephen...”
“You are, aren’t you? I knew it! I heard the rumors, but I didn’t believe them...” Stephen stood up and ran his hands through his perfectly sculpted hair frantically, throwing his glasses askew as he panicked.
“You can’t fired me Jon! I have a wife and kids, I can’t make them homeless, not again!”
“Stephen...,” Jon repeated.
“I can’t go back to the Senate, they all hate me there! This is all I’ve got!” Stephen abruptly stopped speaking and went around the desk. He got on his knees, took Jon’s hands and cried into Jon’s pant leg.
“Stephen...,” Jon said in shock, a bit frightened of Stephen’s breakdown in front of him. He didn’t know Stephen liked his job that much.
“Please Jon, don’t fire me!” Stephen pleaded. “I’ll do anything to change your mind, anything! I’ll- I’ll not harass people all the time or curse the gays or anything!”
“Stephen!” Jon shouted and Stephen dutifully shut up. It was probably time to tell Stephen the good news.
“Stephen, I’m not going to fire you. It just got me thinking, that’s all. I realized that your benefits are more than your shortcomings and I decided not to fire you, alright?”
Stephen nodded and stood up shakily. As soon as he did, he grabbed Jon’s hand and shook it enthusiastically. “Thank you, thank you, thank you! I won’t let you down Jon!” Stephen promised.
Jon smiled. “Thanks Stephen, but you should be thanking Jimmy Kimmel. He’s the one who got me to change my mind.”
“Really?” Stephen asked. When Jon nodded Stephen ran out the room. Jon could distantly hear a scream that probably belonged to Jimmy K. “Thank you for saving my job!” Stephen yelled.
“You’re welcome?” Jimmy Kimmel said after a pause. Jon heard Stephen cheers grow more distant as Jimmy ran into the office. “Care to tell me why Stephen hugged me just now?” Jimmy asked Jon.
“I told him you saved his job,” Jon smiled.
“Wait, his job was in jeopardy?” Jimmy K. “So the rumors were true?”
Jon nodded.
“Well if that rumor is true, then it’s also true that half of America hates him,” Jimmy said. “They won’t be happy about his continued employment.”
“I know,” Jon said. “We’ll deal with it as it comes. Meanwhile we’ll watch Stephen celebrate.”
“Apparently he’s celebrating out on the White House lawn,” Jimmy said while looking outside Jon’s window.
“What?” Jon said and he turned to look also. Stephen was outside on the lawn, dancing just as the sprinklers turned on. It would have looked beautiful, if it wasn’t insane.
“I can see tomorrow’s headlines now,” Jimmy said.
“Who cares?” Jon asked. “He does this all the time.”
“So,” Jimmy said. “Are you going to call security on him?”
“Nope,” Jon said, standing up. “In fact, I’m joining him. You coming?”
“Sure,” Jimmy said. “I’ll bring Jimmy and Conan along too. We all need to release some stress around here.”
“And the best way to do that is to make front page news,” Jon said sarcastically and Jimmy laughed. “You know what, go ahead of me. I need to file some things.”
“You sure you’re not going to ditch us?” Jimmy said. “The four of us can’t party alone, you know.”
“Seriously, I’ll be there,” Jon promised. Jimmy ran out of the room, and a few minutes later, shouts could be heard as Conan and the Jimmys joined Stephen outside. Jon watched them for awhile, and then sighed and looked up at the ceiling.
“I hope I don’t regret this whole thing,” he muttered.
Jon then walked out the door, to join the impromptu party outside.
THE END