(no subject)
What to say... what to say. There has been so much unwanted drama coming from my relationship with Katie recently, that it makes me wonder if we both crave it secretly. Little things have been adding up to big things lately. Something as small as throwing out a piece of trash instead of leaving it lying around has been pissing me off. Making unnecessary messes if two more seconds of precaution would be taken. Hell, even taking care of herself when she get sick would be nice for a change. I get the medicine for her, make it for her, do everything but force feed her the stuff, and she bitches and complains about the taste of it.
"Gee Sweetie, I'm glad I've gone out of my way to help you try and feel better, I'd sure like it if you realize how much love and compassion I have for you by saying thanks and giving me a warm smile."
"This tastes icky, I'm going to lay back down again, and not take another sip of it again because it tastes bad and I'm going to complain about how I feel bad, even though there is some medicine next to me that will help me feel better. This is karma kicking me in my ass again."
No, I'm afraid it's not karma, it's you not taking care of yourself because no one has ever taught you how. You'd much rather feel like shit and get all the attention in the world from me, than not feel like a sneezy, coughy, runny nose, head congestion bag of sickness. I get so tired of telling her to take care of herself, only to disregard what I've said. My mom can say the exact same thing I've said to her, and then it hits Katie like a sack of potatoes... maybe Dan's mom is right.
Lately there hasn't been a middle ground for us to meet on. It's been annoyance over and over again. We're both so damn pig headed, that we get in these blow out arguments, but I'm usually the only one to cave in and get tired of it and break down emotionally. She is very devoid of it, and I push her to the point of breaking until I feel like she means her appologie. Even then, it feels like she says shit out of spite, and anger, and doesn't ever want to own up to her problems.
I've been doing some reflecting myself lately, and realizing I'm a hard ass, and I could take it easier. I guess I have to do that. I have to go back to my care free self. It's so damn hard sometimes. Especially when out of the blue it seems like Katie does some self reflecting, and starts sending and recieving messages from her ex again. I was told not to make a big deal out of it, but she seems to be hung up on this guy. I'll just forget about it, like I should. She is still with me after all.
Getting this all down is kind of refreshing, but I know it's going to stir shit up between Katie and I when or if she ever reads my live journal again. This is stress relieving to get this out, but I can feel the impact of this already. This is when I'd insert one of those smiley faces that does the whole eye rolling and sighing action.
"Gee Sweetie, I'm glad I've gone out of my way to help you try and feel better, I'd sure like it if you realize how much love and compassion I have for you by saying thanks and giving me a warm smile."
"This tastes icky, I'm going to lay back down again, and not take another sip of it again because it tastes bad and I'm going to complain about how I feel bad, even though there is some medicine next to me that will help me feel better. This is karma kicking me in my ass again."
No, I'm afraid it's not karma, it's you not taking care of yourself because no one has ever taught you how. You'd much rather feel like shit and get all the attention in the world from me, than not feel like a sneezy, coughy, runny nose, head congestion bag of sickness. I get so tired of telling her to take care of herself, only to disregard what I've said. My mom can say the exact same thing I've said to her, and then it hits Katie like a sack of potatoes... maybe Dan's mom is right.
Lately there hasn't been a middle ground for us to meet on. It's been annoyance over and over again. We're both so damn pig headed, that we get in these blow out arguments, but I'm usually the only one to cave in and get tired of it and break down emotionally. She is very devoid of it, and I push her to the point of breaking until I feel like she means her appologie. Even then, it feels like she says shit out of spite, and anger, and doesn't ever want to own up to her problems.
I've been doing some reflecting myself lately, and realizing I'm a hard ass, and I could take it easier. I guess I have to do that. I have to go back to my care free self. It's so damn hard sometimes. Especially when out of the blue it seems like Katie does some self reflecting, and starts sending and recieving messages from her ex again. I was told not to make a big deal out of it, but she seems to be hung up on this guy. I'll just forget about it, like I should. She is still with me after all.
Getting this all down is kind of refreshing, but I know it's going to stir shit up between Katie and I when or if she ever reads my live journal again. This is stress relieving to get this out, but I can feel the impact of this already. This is when I'd insert one of those smiley faces that does the whole eye rolling and sighing action.