(no subject)
with my mother's temporary (but severe) schizophrenic-like actions the past couple days, i've been realizing how it's not that hard to see your surroundings in an insane way. if i tried, i could get there a little bit. but i'm too lazy and wouldn't be that amused. and it's kind of sick for me to have fun with these things...self-peeling brain layers away. this delicate mass shoudn't be exposed, but sometimes it is, with natural glitches. but isn't it a mockery or disrespect to these disorders? maybe a mild one in itself. it is SO so easy to become insane, or "insane"...but who even makes the line? i don't remember where i heard this, or if i ever have before, but i think we're all crazy, but some have better ways of hiding it than others. mine is makeup. thick concealer, not even a healing agent underneath. just like concealer makes a blemish pus and fester, and eventually pop. i think i'll die then, because ever since my adolescent brain has developed, it's been thriving on concealer (subconsciously), and now i know, but it doesn't change much. but how can you change things from the most important and recently conscious years? the change is the eventual pop, a quiet neural pop that i will make dramatic so people can remember me when i die and have that moment of silence and remember my poofyness and pep. but no traits you could recognize my spirit by.
but i would be so sad in two months when they would actually get on with their lives.
and i would do evil ghostly things to them. in 5th grade, this was a recurring fantasy, but i would never like to think about the latter part, because it would totally anull my plan for attention, and i would have to use logic again.
but i would be so sad in two months when they would actually get on with their lives.
and i would do evil ghostly things to them. in 5th grade, this was a recurring fantasy, but i would never like to think about the latter part, because it would totally anull my plan for attention, and i would have to use logic again.