Oh you cocky bitch
I had three finals this semester. Chem, bio and math. I wasn't so worried about the first one. Just a 75 minimum and I would walk away with an A. Math and bio, though, were another story. See, I meant to study for math, and I feel like I gave it a fair try. I started studying like three days before and got the economic stuff down. I saw the old exams and saw that the new stuff we were doing wasn't covered as extensively as past topics, so I blew it off.
Yes, I was so cocksure I could do it on the spot. 'Ha, this is where my photographic memory comes in, I can SO do this if I just memorize this.' I reviewed those tests, committed them to memory kinda, and called it a night.
I downloaded some djs, caught up with some manga, read some fics, played some chess and online games, looked at some photos, hell I even started jogging.
That test was terrible. 5 out of 25 questions was on the new stuff we just learned. So I think I walked away with a D. There was a question on improper integrals that had bounds of 0 to infinity and you had to integrate .317xe^-.317. I have this terrible problem where I freeze with integrals like this because I can't remember if you integrate this by parts or substitution (although looking at this now it looks like substitution.) Point is, I still freeze at questions like these. It sucks. I needed only 10 correct answers to get a C in the class, I'm scared to find out what I actually got. I don't kid when I say math is my weak point, it seriously is.
And then bio! Jesus fucking Christ, I blew off ONE lecture because I didn't want to print out the notes (ink and paper is expensive!)(and in typical fashion forgot to review it online anyways) and 4 questions were on it out of 40. So? I just checked my grades and I got a 79% on that test.
No, I don't want sympathy, or even understanding. Scold me if you must. I just know I fucked up at the homestretch because I thought all my past endeavors were enough, but I calculated a rough sketch of my grades and I think I got a 3.4 this semester.
WHAT??
That's .2 below what I expected, and that's because I blew off finals?
Yeah, I know, "What did you expect?". I was lecturing myself for a good hour today after I reviewed my GPA. Overall my GPA is at 3.1, 3.2 cumulative thus far.
What's so bad? What's so bad about it is that I starting to have doubts about medical school, or even grad school! I was reviewing my career choices and this whole doctor thing is getting stressful, you know? I need to get GPA's over 3.7 next year and beyond to pull off a decent 3.6 GPA. And I sure as hell don't want to take those supplementary classes they let you take if your science GPA is low, I heard those are like 3 grand a class! I don't even have a grand to pay off my tuition on time.
...And I just started volunteering. I started this semester with the pre-med society on campus and it's fun. The greatest thing about this is my job at the library is great. I get to put books back on shelves and read them occasionally, and I choose my hours as I see fit. I was even able to talk to my supervisor about Kenneth Branagh!
See, school is serious for me. I HONESTLY can't see myself doing anything else. It's like, I'm slacking off in my prime because I lose sight of my goal at the end and it's stupid. NO MORE. Yes, NO MORE. I have seen the ugly side of not studying for finals (this is the first time I have slacked during finals week, even though it is my favorite time of the year). I can't even put into words how terrified I am of not excelling in school, it's stupid. I am hoping my dad hears my pleas and somehow the bio prof drops like two questions from that exam to bump up my grade to 81%. That much would help, please!
Also, I'm toying with the idea of double majoring, or at least was. Chemistry was my choice, since I enjoyed it this semester, but bio was also another choice since I would only need about 4 more classes. I'm thinking of a minor in bio since that's less work. It's in the air right now, I'm still figuring out my plan for next semester too.
Yes, I was so cocksure I could do it on the spot. 'Ha, this is where my photographic memory comes in, I can SO do this if I just memorize this.' I reviewed those tests, committed them to memory kinda, and called it a night.
I downloaded some djs, caught up with some manga, read some fics, played some chess and online games, looked at some photos, hell I even started jogging.
That test was terrible. 5 out of 25 questions was on the new stuff we just learned. So I think I walked away with a D. There was a question on improper integrals that had bounds of 0 to infinity and you had to integrate .317xe^-.317. I have this terrible problem where I freeze with integrals like this because I can't remember if you integrate this by parts or substitution (although looking at this now it looks like substitution.) Point is, I still freeze at questions like these. It sucks. I needed only 10 correct answers to get a C in the class, I'm scared to find out what I actually got. I don't kid when I say math is my weak point, it seriously is.
And then bio! Jesus fucking Christ, I blew off ONE lecture because I didn't want to print out the notes (ink and paper is expensive!)(and in typical fashion forgot to review it online anyways) and 4 questions were on it out of 40. So? I just checked my grades and I got a 79% on that test.
No, I don't want sympathy, or even understanding. Scold me if you must. I just know I fucked up at the homestretch because I thought all my past endeavors were enough, but I calculated a rough sketch of my grades and I think I got a 3.4 this semester.
WHAT??
That's .2 below what I expected, and that's because I blew off finals?
Yeah, I know, "What did you expect?". I was lecturing myself for a good hour today after I reviewed my GPA. Overall my GPA is at 3.1, 3.2 cumulative thus far.
What's so bad? What's so bad about it is that I starting to have doubts about medical school, or even grad school! I was reviewing my career choices and this whole doctor thing is getting stressful, you know? I need to get GPA's over 3.7 next year and beyond to pull off a decent 3.6 GPA. And I sure as hell don't want to take those supplementary classes they let you take if your science GPA is low, I heard those are like 3 grand a class! I don't even have a grand to pay off my tuition on time.
...And I just started volunteering. I started this semester with the pre-med society on campus and it's fun. The greatest thing about this is my job at the library is great. I get to put books back on shelves and read them occasionally, and I choose my hours as I see fit. I was even able to talk to my supervisor about Kenneth Branagh!
See, school is serious for me. I HONESTLY can't see myself doing anything else. It's like, I'm slacking off in my prime because I lose sight of my goal at the end and it's stupid. NO MORE. Yes, NO MORE. I have seen the ugly side of not studying for finals (this is the first time I have slacked during finals week, even though it is my favorite time of the year). I can't even put into words how terrified I am of not excelling in school, it's stupid. I am hoping my dad hears my pleas and somehow the bio prof drops like two questions from that exam to bump up my grade to 81%. That much would help, please!
Also, I'm toying with the idea of double majoring, or at least was. Chemistry was my choice, since I enjoyed it this semester, but bio was also another choice since I would only need about 4 more classes. I'm thinking of a minor in bio since that's less work. It's in the air right now, I'm still figuring out my plan for next semester too.