yep
i havent used this in about a million years.
ive been a little bit overwhelmed so i suppose i will write in this, and perhaps my sister will read it like i did her and then we'll know eachother again! i miss you <3
sooo i have no job, no license, no boyfriend, no money, no nothing. things i havent experienced in many years. i feel like a twelve year old, i cant even go to the store and buy a pack of cigarettes, for more than one reason which is the pathetic part. HOWEVER, not having a job has left me with a lot of time to hang out with my ladies friend which i have neglected since i was like 16. the up side of being single. however, im really mad that people think that being single means that you have to want to kiss mad dudes, no thanks. im really sad about wes, and id like to sit around and be upset about it and not get into another useless relationship that ends in people being sad. ill skip that, im not dating until i know i want to marry that person, im sure thats a lie, but i wish it wasn't. it shouldnt be that hard to stay single because i rarely meet new people, thank you new england for being so small and stupid. and boring, doesn't anyone rage anymore? i just want to go to like a serious house party with like dishsoap on the floor. and i dont want to see people doing like fucking coke in the bathroom. i want some good old fashioned fun, lacking drugs. i dont think you suuck if you use drugs, but not something i generally want to involve myself with. maybe some w33d smoke, but aside from that i have a very addictive personality, and to quote brand new "ive seen more spine in jelly fish" and i assume that if i use it once, ill probably be addicted. good way to think about it, as far as im concerned.
my brother lives at home, which is weird, cause he has a baby. and i havent lived with him since i was like 16. its kind of nice to have a young face around, im sick of mom and mart. oh and my brother has a like a new girlfriend thing, shes nice, but i didnt expect it to happen so quickly. i mean he has a son with a lady, give yourself sometime brotha.
this summer hasnt been too exciting. ive gone to the beach once or twice, other than its just a lot of hanging out. we've been hanging out with adam, alex, and andy a lot. they're wicked fun, and theyre not tryna bang so its just fun. and you're sad they can put a smile on your face, and they treat me like a sister, not like the kids around here usually do. if youre not fucking a friend of someones, you dont exist to a lot of people around here. fuuugggggggit. also, ive been going to hannah maes in west hartford a ton and smoking with lynn gelinas, which is a hilarious, and always freaks me out, i love it. i wish kate was around more, but i understand. and i love andrew, so im glad theyre happy and stuffffff. and i went with kate to get her tattoo and it was fun. shes a beast, she didnt even like flinch. idk if thats a word.
ummmmm i go to the doctors every other monday, but shes not that helpful. she pretty much repeats what i say and then thats it. i wish she would give me some guidance on life. thats all i want. i dont want the world to feel like its falling apart everytime something doesn't go my way, thats all. and i told her that, so we'll see on monday if she thought of anything constructive to say, if she didnt i dont think ill go back again. besides, its $45 dollars a visit, and i dont have a job. not to mention that it means a 15 minute drive with mart. shoot me. he's getting better, but not really even. haha
wes and katie strandberg, i guess thats fine. its probably not fine that i still hang out with him, he says they aren't whatever, but as soon as dan comes home im going to kiss him. just to piss katie off cause she told she wasn't into wes that way, nice lie katie. one of the girls i thought was of any sort quality, of course wes turned her into another shitty girl, he has a way of doing that.
i hate the way it is when i hang out with wes now, he used to treat me like a princess, and i know i took that for granted, but now he treats me, not badly, but he doesn't even look at me the same way. he used to look at me like i was priceless, like irreplaceable, now he looks at me like im any other girl, it kind of breaks my heart everytime. i probably shouldn't even hang out with him. but i do, and i know i still will, i have no backbone. its fine.
its funny how after months of legitimately believing i didnt want to be with him, pushing him away, and then as soon as i realize i do want to make it work, hes gone. makes you realize how shitty people can be. one day we were happy, and then next day he wouldn't talk to me. and for a month all he could do was tell me how terrible of a person i am, im not sure why im still in love with that piece of shit.
in all honestly, i dont want to date anyone, but if someone could just kind of fall into my lap, and hang out with me, and help me remember what it feels like to have someone care about me, that would be nice. ohhhh welll.
i read twilight, im ashamed, im more ashamed at how much i fucking loved it. 500 pages, less than 24 hours, thats what not having a job will do to you.
ive been a little bit overwhelmed so i suppose i will write in this, and perhaps my sister will read it like i did her and then we'll know eachother again! i miss you <3
sooo i have no job, no license, no boyfriend, no money, no nothing. things i havent experienced in many years. i feel like a twelve year old, i cant even go to the store and buy a pack of cigarettes, for more than one reason which is the pathetic part. HOWEVER, not having a job has left me with a lot of time to hang out with my ladies friend which i have neglected since i was like 16. the up side of being single. however, im really mad that people think that being single means that you have to want to kiss mad dudes, no thanks. im really sad about wes, and id like to sit around and be upset about it and not get into another useless relationship that ends in people being sad. ill skip that, im not dating until i know i want to marry that person, im sure thats a lie, but i wish it wasn't. it shouldnt be that hard to stay single because i rarely meet new people, thank you new england for being so small and stupid. and boring, doesn't anyone rage anymore? i just want to go to like a serious house party with like dishsoap on the floor. and i dont want to see people doing like fucking coke in the bathroom. i want some good old fashioned fun, lacking drugs. i dont think you suuck if you use drugs, but not something i generally want to involve myself with. maybe some w33d smoke, but aside from that i have a very addictive personality, and to quote brand new "ive seen more spine in jelly fish" and i assume that if i use it once, ill probably be addicted. good way to think about it, as far as im concerned.
my brother lives at home, which is weird, cause he has a baby. and i havent lived with him since i was like 16. its kind of nice to have a young face around, im sick of mom and mart. oh and my brother has a like a new girlfriend thing, shes nice, but i didnt expect it to happen so quickly. i mean he has a son with a lady, give yourself sometime brotha.
this summer hasnt been too exciting. ive gone to the beach once or twice, other than its just a lot of hanging out. we've been hanging out with adam, alex, and andy a lot. they're wicked fun, and theyre not tryna bang so its just fun. and you're sad they can put a smile on your face, and they treat me like a sister, not like the kids around here usually do. if youre not fucking a friend of someones, you dont exist to a lot of people around here. fuuugggggggit. also, ive been going to hannah maes in west hartford a ton and smoking with lynn gelinas, which is a hilarious, and always freaks me out, i love it. i wish kate was around more, but i understand. and i love andrew, so im glad theyre happy and stuffffff. and i went with kate to get her tattoo and it was fun. shes a beast, she didnt even like flinch. idk if thats a word.
ummmmm i go to the doctors every other monday, but shes not that helpful. she pretty much repeats what i say and then thats it. i wish she would give me some guidance on life. thats all i want. i dont want the world to feel like its falling apart everytime something doesn't go my way, thats all. and i told her that, so we'll see on monday if she thought of anything constructive to say, if she didnt i dont think ill go back again. besides, its $45 dollars a visit, and i dont have a job. not to mention that it means a 15 minute drive with mart. shoot me. he's getting better, but not really even. haha
wes and katie strandberg, i guess thats fine. its probably not fine that i still hang out with him, he says they aren't whatever, but as soon as dan comes home im going to kiss him. just to piss katie off cause she told she wasn't into wes that way, nice lie katie. one of the girls i thought was of any sort quality, of course wes turned her into another shitty girl, he has a way of doing that.
i hate the way it is when i hang out with wes now, he used to treat me like a princess, and i know i took that for granted, but now he treats me, not badly, but he doesn't even look at me the same way. he used to look at me like i was priceless, like irreplaceable, now he looks at me like im any other girl, it kind of breaks my heart everytime. i probably shouldn't even hang out with him. but i do, and i know i still will, i have no backbone. its fine.
its funny how after months of legitimately believing i didnt want to be with him, pushing him away, and then as soon as i realize i do want to make it work, hes gone. makes you realize how shitty people can be. one day we were happy, and then next day he wouldn't talk to me. and for a month all he could do was tell me how terrible of a person i am, im not sure why im still in love with that piece of shit.
in all honestly, i dont want to date anyone, but if someone could just kind of fall into my lap, and hang out with me, and help me remember what it feels like to have someone care about me, that would be nice. ohhhh welll.
i read twilight, im ashamed, im more ashamed at how much i fucking loved it. 500 pages, less than 24 hours, thats what not having a job will do to you.