Unsure about this death, Help us out?

[scarletbeauty]

http://community.livejournal.com/ana_mia/6243332.html

And if you can't read that, here's a link to the entry that was copy/pasted into lol_anaz: http://community.livejournal.com/lol_anaz/666548.html

She'd posted quite a bit at lol_anaz, but really

Comments

[nevadamoon]

I'm sorry, but I never believe it when a "friend" logs onto and posts on a deceased person's communities because they think "[deceased] would have wanted y'all to know."

Priority-wise, does not compute at all.

[scarletbeauty]

MTE. I had a friend pass away in 2007 very very suddenly. She had an LJ, and NO ONE has made a post to it. I left a comment on one of her public entries months later to let her friends online know, but until about 5 months later, I couldn't stomach even TYPING that she'd passed away.

[spacecowgirl]

One of my friends quite suddenly died around Thanksgiving 2006. Her boyfriend logged in to her LJ two days later to make a post letting people know, giving funeral/visitation arrangements, etc. We lived in the same area, so I found out from her best friend (who I attended the funeral with), but she had a very large group of friends online and it just didn't seem right or fair to not let them know right away (they would've suspected something was wrong, she posted regularly).

Immediate posts can happen when the death is actually legitimate, but yeah, it is suspect when it comes out of a community like ana/mia.

[teal_cuttlefish]

But immediate posts usually come from someone you already know of, not a best friend who appears out of nowhere.

I've gone into the hospital a couple of times for emergencies and had my husband post something on my LJ, but I talk about him all the time, he has an LJ himself, and the local folks all know him anyway. It's not some stranger coming on my LJ and figuring it all out to post suddenly after an emergency or something terrible.

I did lose an LJ friend unexpectedly. We found out from a couple of sources, because she had actually posted the night before she died of a heart attack at 30. We got links to her brother's FaceBook, and comments to us from local friends we'd met on her journal, not a sudden mystery post. And it was a couple of weeks before we managed to contact some of her groups she was a regular on. Just not the pattern of sudden friend we didn't know posting at all.

[spacecowgirl]

...Yeah, I see your point.

[humming_along]

I had an online friend who died, and his daughter posted on his LJ about six weeks later to let us know. He'd left her a message to post, but given who he was, and how long he'd been very, very ill, no one questioned it. It's definitely something he would have done. Many of us had talked to said daughter on the phone getting updates on him, and I'm sure she saw the many cards and packages he got from many of us, so we really appreciated the gesture.

[lotus82]

Yeah, honestly I don't believe such posts either. I know that when I'm dead, my husband would post a short notice on my LJ, but certainly he won't go through communities posting a notice everywhere; also, he wouldn't be posting very soon after my death, because honestly, if you're grieving, you're kind of not thinking about that, and I know he won't. I was hit by a car a year and a half ago and my husband did make a post on my LJ about that - because he got an email from an LJ-friend of mine who thought I died [I have cystic fibrosis and shortly before my accident wrote that I am doing very poorly].
I see no point in announcing my death to whole LJ-communities - my friends would know from my LJ, and if someone in a community who's not a friend would suddenly notice that hey, lotus82 hasn't commented in ages, they'll probably be going to my LJ anyway.

[cumaeansibyl]

[tamago23]

The funny thing is that part of my will is that I want an online obit, and I want my best friend (who also has my name/pw's here and a pre-written message to post for me) to link to the obit, and also publicly post the details of my memorial. Should I die unexpectedly, I don't want it to be fodder for fake_lj_deaths for longer than it takes to make a few calls. ;)

[tamago23]

Yep. I've left a message (and details about my LJ username/pw) with my best friend to post in the event of my unexpected death, but I haven't left her instructions for any comms or anything; as you said, if people notice that I'm missing from a comm, they'll come to check my LJ. And if they don't notice me missing, then we weren't close enough that they need to be aware of my death anyway.

[hellototheworld]

Seriously. Unless it was a comm we were in together, or I was stalking them, how would I know the nature/frequency of their posts in any given community anyway? My very very best friends hear me mention certain comms but I still don't think it would occur to them "oh burdenofclarity died, we better tell thequestionclub and fake_lj_deaths! What do you mean we should wait until the body is cold..."

[kayt_arminta]

My passwords are all saved on my computer, and I told my husband to post in case anything happens to me that I can't post any more. But we're husband and wife, so maybe the trust factor is better in giving out passwords. I mean, I even gave him the passwords to all my e-mails, game accounts, everything, just in case, even the online banking one. But to each a different mile to walk.