(no subject)
this summer has been incredible to say the least... i havent done much just the usual parties, chills, u know whatever.. but along the way ive had some important realizations..
no matter what, i can not fill this void in me... this empty hole that constantly eats away at me and drains me of my emotions and feelings. there is nothing that i or anyone can do to change it or to make it go away.. only time and a lot of it. ive come to understand that and fully accept it.
my insecurities will not go away unless i have someone, a significant other, in my life. i will not feel myself a good person, i will not love myself, and i will not feel beautiful, unless someone else does.
i have also come to the conclusion that i am a weak person.
someone told me that you need to take risks in life.. that you need to jump and leap, always test yourself and your limits.. thats the only way to learn and thats what life is about... but no matter what, i cant take risks, im not a risk-taker, i dont like "danger", im not a daredevil.. i like to stay on the safe side, i like to be comfortable. but sometimes comfort isnt a good thing. after all, what is comfort? it's weakness, it's a crutch, when you're not strong enough to stand on your own two feet alone.
maybe one day ill take a leap, ill jump to the other side. but right now, im not ready for that.
no matter what, i can not fill this void in me... this empty hole that constantly eats away at me and drains me of my emotions and feelings. there is nothing that i or anyone can do to change it or to make it go away.. only time and a lot of it. ive come to understand that and fully accept it.
my insecurities will not go away unless i have someone, a significant other, in my life. i will not feel myself a good person, i will not love myself, and i will not feel beautiful, unless someone else does.
i have also come to the conclusion that i am a weak person.
someone told me that you need to take risks in life.. that you need to jump and leap, always test yourself and your limits.. thats the only way to learn and thats what life is about... but no matter what, i cant take risks, im not a risk-taker, i dont like "danger", im not a daredevil.. i like to stay on the safe side, i like to be comfortable. but sometimes comfort isnt a good thing. after all, what is comfort? it's weakness, it's a crutch, when you're not strong enough to stand on your own two feet alone.
maybe one day ill take a leap, ill jump to the other side. but right now, im not ready for that.