A Song for my Daughter

[fajitas]

(sung to the tune of If I Only Had a Brain)

It's the greatest way to coddle, much better than a bottle
Or drinkin' from a tube.
Instead of my screamin', I'd be happily a beamin'
If I only had a boob.

I'm not good at meditatin', or at self-regulatin'
At life I'm just a noob.
Instead of my crying, I'd be comfortably sighing
If I only had a boob.

Oh I
Could sit and lie
Upon my Mommy's breast.
It's the place I think that really is the best
Where I can drink, and take a rest.

It's much better than a Slinky, a top or blocks or binkies
Or than a Rubik's cube.
It's the greatest toy ever, I could sit and suck forever
If I only had a boob.