chocolate tastes so good
Ok so today i went to Grace's birthday party, and the whole time i was watching the clock and wanted to leave so bad but i didn't want to be rude. their house smells funny and made me sneeze. i can't believe grace is already 4 years old! it makes me feel like grownuphood is creeping closer and closer to me and there's nothing i can do to stop it. dang. i'm all alone at home, just sitting in my pajamas pretty much doing nothing. everyday i realize more and more what a fat loser i am. but oh well. what would the world be like without losers? Kat's getting married in one week! i'm really happy for her, but at the same time i feel a little depressed. i haven't thought about it much but now that i'm alone, thinking is inevitable. i know it's stupid because she lives like a bazillion hours away anyway, but now that she's getting married and moving to italy it makes me feel like i'm losing one of my very best friends. most the time it's hard for me to tell people how i really feel about things, especially if they're right here with me where i have to look at their faces. so with kat, i've been able to have really cool conversations with her because i'm not looking at her. that sounds stupid, but i get to say what i want to say and i don't have a clue how she's going to respond to what i've said until she has the time to write back. anyway, i know nobody really cares but i just had to say that. i don't like change. people always tell me that change is a good thing, but i think it's only good when something better comes out of it. right now, i only have two friends that i ever talk to about anything other than stupid crap, and one of them is leaving. and i ran into one of my old friends yesterday and it made me sad. i don't know why we aren't friends anymore, but we used to be really close so now it's just awkward between us. i'll get over it. i'm going to go do my hair and go see a movie.