I need to get a life. Bleah.
Today, I almost considered answering a personal ad I read in a magazine. The only thing that stopped me was the fact that the guy lived in another state.
I'm not sure I'm ready for a relationship, but I do know that I am lonely. And incredibly shy. It's hard for me to meet new people. I either go all quiet, and it gets awkward, or I don't stop talking... And it gets awkward. :P
Of course, when I get into this mood I think back to a friend from High School, who I secretly had a crush on. I really regret leaving town without at least telling him how I felt. And then, when I actually came close to sharing, my email bounces back undelivered. For all I know (and my other friend from school has hinted at it) he feels the same, and might have actually been trying to contact me as well... Except that I've gone back to my father's surname, instead of my step-father's, which I was using at the time. On the other hand, maybe he's forgotten all about me.
Look at me. 21, and rambling on like a lovesick school girl.
I've never had a real relationship. Heck, I've never even been on a date. I had a brief fling (it lasted all of one night) with a flatmate, back when I was 18. I naively thought it was more, but then he goes and brings home a girl about a week later. Just about introducing her as his new girlfriend. While I'm right there. Way to make a girl feel rejected.
Anyway... That's about how I'm feeling at the moment, emotionally. Physically, I'm rather tired and just generally feeling rotten.
I'm not sure I'm ready for a relationship, but I do know that I am lonely. And incredibly shy. It's hard for me to meet new people. I either go all quiet, and it gets awkward, or I don't stop talking... And it gets awkward. :P
Of course, when I get into this mood I think back to a friend from High School, who I secretly had a crush on. I really regret leaving town without at least telling him how I felt. And then, when I actually came close to sharing, my email bounces back undelivered. For all I know (and my other friend from school has hinted at it) he feels the same, and might have actually been trying to contact me as well... Except that I've gone back to my father's surname, instead of my step-father's, which I was using at the time. On the other hand, maybe he's forgotten all about me.
Look at me. 21, and rambling on like a lovesick school girl.
I've never had a real relationship. Heck, I've never even been on a date. I had a brief fling (it lasted all of one night) with a flatmate, back when I was 18. I naively thought it was more, but then he goes and brings home a girl about a week later. Just about introducing her as his new girlfriend. While I'm right there. Way to make a girl feel rejected.
Anyway... That's about how I'm feeling at the moment, emotionally. Physically, I'm rather tired and just generally feeling rotten.