(no subject)
I am struggling to let go of being controlling. I am struggling to not let my feelings of self-worth depend on others. I am struggling, right now. I am feeling so unbalanced and I am worried about spiraling out of control and being enmeshed in PPD again. I couldn't handle the anxiety and depression sandwich! I am not being the person or mother I want to be right now. My perspective is skewed and off track. I need to make some appointments to some alternative health care providers tomorrow. I need to start accupuncture now. I need a massage, I am so physically tense and I am having issues being able to relax my body. I need to see the chiroprator as well. I know that when i do these things and start taking care of myself in other ways...showering, etc...I will start to feel better not just about myself but life in general. I am not taking care of my needs and no one else is going to. I can't stand myself when I get like this, then I start getting depressed because I loathe myself so much.