wow...that's it...wow
so yeah...yesterday was too interesting for its own good.
i would have to say that drama is a bit too much...yes i did find humor in it, but that's to prevent myself from crying because of someone.
i thought i was better with things but i'm not. i mean i can be around this person and not cry so its a step forward, but i still cry when i'm not around.
i went on for about 20 min. last night...it was awful.
i think the crappy part is too is that she saw me crying and had no idea why... what if she knew it was because of him... it prolly wouln't mean anything because i do fondly believe that everyone is a psychological egoist. i can't believe that i actually believe in something that i learned about in philosophy. weird, but true nonetheless.
Why do i try tho...i mean really you can't convince a person otherwise, but of course there is always that hope that you can. you even dream about it, but its not true.
that shooting star that i saw...i never made a wish...why? the only wishes i had ever made were about him...yes even when we weren't together and not talking....i had wished for him to be happy because i want at least one of us to be happy...versus two people being in utter sadness. I suppose that's the non-selfish thing to say, but oh well.
i'm in no rush...to be with him...or anyone else.
"you two deserve each other" this one saying just runs through my head...but do we?
God would never tell me otherwise...
i just want to love him...but i cant...and that's the worst part.
life goes on right...well it never has since i met him.
i would have to say that drama is a bit too much...yes i did find humor in it, but that's to prevent myself from crying because of someone.
i thought i was better with things but i'm not. i mean i can be around this person and not cry so its a step forward, but i still cry when i'm not around.
i went on for about 20 min. last night...it was awful.
i think the crappy part is too is that she saw me crying and had no idea why... what if she knew it was because of him... it prolly wouln't mean anything because i do fondly believe that everyone is a psychological egoist. i can't believe that i actually believe in something that i learned about in philosophy. weird, but true nonetheless.
Why do i try tho...i mean really you can't convince a person otherwise, but of course there is always that hope that you can. you even dream about it, but its not true.
that shooting star that i saw...i never made a wish...why? the only wishes i had ever made were about him...yes even when we weren't together and not talking....i had wished for him to be happy because i want at least one of us to be happy...versus two people being in utter sadness. I suppose that's the non-selfish thing to say, but oh well.
i'm in no rush...to be with him...or anyone else.
"you two deserve each other" this one saying just runs through my head...but do we?
God would never tell me otherwise...
i just want to love him...but i cant...and that's the worst part.
life goes on right...well it never has since i met him.