(no subject)
Here is how today went. I woke up when Jake's alarm went off at around six thirty this morning and drifted in and out of sleep for a while and then I went to work. It's the usual. However, things get wild when I come home.
I don't even remember how it all got started. My mom said something and it just set me off. I felt like the biggest heap of trash on the face of the earth. So I took my dog by the collar and went to the bottom of the stairs where I tried to start climbing but failed miserably. So, I just sat there and all of a sudden burst into tears. All of this was too much for Jake and he went outside to tell my mother what's what and I remained on the stairs. After a moment or two I bolted to my room and began frantically throwing things into bags and suitcases, because I was sure she was going to kick us out tonight. Finally, she and Jake had finished arguing at the top of their lungs outside and he came in. By this time I was sitting propped up against the bed, still bawling, barely able to breathe. He started talking to me telling me how the whole argument was about my mother and how all she talked about was her her her even when he told her how depressed she's been making me. Take for instance the other day: Jake and I made a painting together and I showed her hoping she'd like it. She grudgingly stood up, trudged to the back porch. looked at it, shook her head and went back to her room. That crushed me. She hasn't supported me in anything in such a long time. I treat her with respect. I do as she asks, and it's just gotten to the point where I don't believe she loves me at all. She treats Elizabeth and Tyson so much better than she treats me. Of course, my Dad will be on her side, so then both of my parents will have shunned me. The only ones who are with e is Jake and most likely David Dean. Jake and I are planning on moving to Round Rock soon and won't be telling her where we're staying. It's not as if she'd care anyway. We're trying to get out as soon as possible and take our dog with us, because she threatened to kill him if he was left here, which we didn't intend to do in the first place.
I'm tired and worried, but I guess everything will be fine. I don't need my mother in my life if she can't love me like a mother is supposed to.
I don't even remember how it all got started. My mom said something and it just set me off. I felt like the biggest heap of trash on the face of the earth. So I took my dog by the collar and went to the bottom of the stairs where I tried to start climbing but failed miserably. So, I just sat there and all of a sudden burst into tears. All of this was too much for Jake and he went outside to tell my mother what's what and I remained on the stairs. After a moment or two I bolted to my room and began frantically throwing things into bags and suitcases, because I was sure she was going to kick us out tonight. Finally, she and Jake had finished arguing at the top of their lungs outside and he came in. By this time I was sitting propped up against the bed, still bawling, barely able to breathe. He started talking to me telling me how the whole argument was about my mother and how all she talked about was her her her even when he told her how depressed she's been making me. Take for instance the other day: Jake and I made a painting together and I showed her hoping she'd like it. She grudgingly stood up, trudged to the back porch. looked at it, shook her head and went back to her room. That crushed me. She hasn't supported me in anything in such a long time. I treat her with respect. I do as she asks, and it's just gotten to the point where I don't believe she loves me at all. She treats Elizabeth and Tyson so much better than she treats me. Of course, my Dad will be on her side, so then both of my parents will have shunned me. The only ones who are with e is Jake and most likely David Dean. Jake and I are planning on moving to Round Rock soon and won't be telling her where we're staying. It's not as if she'd care anyway. We're trying to get out as soon as possible and take our dog with us, because she threatened to kill him if he was left here, which we didn't intend to do in the first place.
I'm tired and worried, but I guess everything will be fine. I don't need my mother in my life if she can't love me like a mother is supposed to.