Finally Summer. Boga Hvala.
Thank. God. The past school year has been extremely hard for me. My classes were horrid. But now, that doesn't matter. :)
Anywho, this summer could go either way. It could be really fun and worthwhile, or the very opposite. It's pretty obvious which one I'm hoping for.
Yesterday was graduation for the class of 2010 at my school.....unlike last year, I didn't cry. I'm less emotional anymore, haha. Yet, I was still sad. Just a little less than a year till I'll be in the same spot. But I digress....yesterday was a fun night with friends. Who knew driving around in a bug convertible blasting Lady Gaga could be so fun. :)
I'm so terrified now....I'm a senior. Wow. What happened to Kindergarten? I guess the part I'm most terrifed about is getting into college...what if I don't like the place? Or worse...what happens if I don't get accepted into the college I want to go to? Keep in mind I still have no clue what I really want to do with my life yet, but I guess that comes with time.
And also, a best friend of mine is going to college this year. The last time a really good friend of mine went away to college, we lost a lot of contact and I only see her once in a while. :( :( :( :( The thought of it happening again really makes me sad...no, devastated. I suppose I'll get stronger in time.
I hope to write as much as I did (or more) last year in the journals I carry around with me everywhere. That probably means less on here. It's easier for me to write down exactly how I feel with real pen and paper than it is just to type it on a meaningless computer. Plus, wherever I go, my journals go. They are the only true things that stay by me forever.
Reading my older posts on here make me realize how cynical I'm getting. It's not necessarily a bad thing, for I was a silly girl who thought she knew everything but was really living in a dream world. It's nice to wake up and see what's actually going on, what all I've been missing or letting slip out of my vision. I'm more cautious and guarded and less trustworthy. I at least don't get hurt as much in the end. However, I still try to maintain some things of how I used to be, like my acceptance of others. Stuff like that is important to me.
God, make this another summer to look back on with only happiness, zero sorrow.
I love you,
Nikki.