Fic
Title - Future Plans
Fandom - Once Upon a Time
Pairing - Emma/Regina
Rating - PG13
AN - Set following Lacey and follows my drabbles, Mirror Mirror, This Provincial Life, Viviane or Nimue, Dreams and Wishes, All the Better to…., Magic Keys, Curiouser and Curiouser, Snow Blind, Spinning Straw , Wooden Hearts , Poisoned , True Love and Other Curses, Spellbound, Over the Rainbow, Facades, Lost Girls, Monstrosities, Love and Lies, Something Wicked This Way Comes, Dreamscapes, Homecomings, Test Match, Wishful Thinking, Absent Friends, Small Mercies, State of Mind, Good Intentions, Sins of Mothers, Affairs of the Heart and Power Plays
Future Plans
It is dangerously close to dawn as they make their way down the stairs. They walk in silence and keep their footfalls light. Their stealth is unnecessary, there is no one there to hear them, but it feels wrong to make noise. It’s as if it would be sacrilege to disrupt the stillness of the house with sound. They move like they are under a spell. It is spell that Regina is familiar with and it is not one that she is at all fond of.
It took them a long time to extricate themselves from the bed and longer still to make themselves presentable. Even as they descend the stairs they are gathering discarded items of clothing. Regina is happy to draw things out. She doesn’t want to face the day. Last night told all everything she needed, and didn’t want, to know about today. The sex last night was focused but it was languid and sad. The only other time it had been like that was when Emma was planning to leave and take Henry with her. She knows what last night means and because of that she doesn’t want today to come.
Emma hesitates at the bottom of the stairs and nervously asks Regina, “Would it be all right if we have coffee before I go?”
“I could make us some breakfast if you would like. We did expend a reasonable about of energy last night.”
“That we did, but coffee’s fine.” Emma says with a sad smile. Regina gives her a matching one in return before heading towards the kitchen.
She can’t look at Emma, not right now, and so she busies herself with the fridge and the coffee machine. She doesn’t even bother to scold Emma when she hears her scrape a chair on the floor. The aroma of the percolating coffee soothes her; its earth tones ground her and help her pretend that her world isn’t spinning out of control.
Emma remains silent whilst Regina attends to the coffee but she can feel the blonde fidgeting. Emma’s unease is contagious. Or perhaps it just mirrors Regina’s own. The coffee machine turns out to be a traitor; it produces the brew far too quickly and once it is in the mugs Regina has no choice but to turn and face Emma.
The sheriff’s head is down and yet Regina feels as though she is being watched as she makes her way over to the table. It mortifies her that her hands shake and that when she places Emma’s mug down a large amount sloshes over the edge. Emma doesn’t say anything about it and neither of them does anything about the mess. They both just stare at their coffees like the liquid holds the secrets to the universe.
In the end Emma is the first to break the silence. It probably had to be that way, Emma is the more human of the two. “Are you okay?” she asks.
“I’m fine,” Regina replies curtly.
“Liar.”
Regina sighs and runs a hand through her hair. “I am normally such a good liar but I seem to fail when it comes to you.”
“It’s not you,” Emma gives her a small encouraging smile, “it’s my damn superpower.”
She lets out a laugh that manages to make the air seem more breathable.
“Hey!” Emma exclaims. “I’ll have you know that being able to tell when people are lying is no laughing matter.”
“Probably not but it’s not a superpower either.”
“Is too,” comes Emma’s childish response.
“Dearest, setting fire to things with your mind is a superpower, one that you are capable of by the way. Being able to tell if people are lying is nothing more than intuition, some lucky guesses and a healthy dose of paranoia.”
“I don’t mock your superpowers,” Emma grumbles.
“That’s because they are far more impressive than yours.”
The smile Emma shoots her shows traces of annoyance but it is still a genuine smile. “How do you do that?”
“How do I do what, dear?”
“Make me feel comfortable and happy when those are the last things I should be feeling?”
“You mean because you are leaving me?” she says the words she didn’t even want to think about. Voicing your fears is meant to make things easier but somehow it only makes the words seem more powerful. More real.
“So you know about the beans?”
“I didn’t have to. The way you treated me last night let me know that you are leaving.”
Emma tilts her head to the side and asks, “How did I treat you?”
“Tenderly.”
“And you don’t think I treat you like that normally?” She can sense the pain in Emma’s voice.
“It’s okay. People like me, we don’t deserve tenderness.”
“Oh Regina,” Emma moves towards her and cups her cheek, “that’s just not true.”
She winces at the contact of Emma’s hand and draws back. “You’ve only been that way with me once before. It was the time….” She scrunches her eyes shut and shakes her head trying desperately to dispel images of the night in question.
Emma cautiously strokes her face again. Regina flinches but she doesn’t withdraw. “If you recall correctly,” Emma says quietly, “I didn’t leave that night.”
“But you wanted to,” she hasn’t managed a sip yet but she suspects that her tone is more bitter than the coffee she made.
“It felt like the right thing to do. It felt like the sensible thing to do.”
“See,” she hisses.
“And yet I couldn’t leave you,” Emma’s hand now rests along her jaw and a thumb moves idly over Regina’s cheek bone. “I didn’t leave you then and I won’t leave you now.”
“There’s a field full of beans that suggests otherwise.” She neglects to mention that it’s a burnt field; some things really are better left unsaid.
“I didn’t plant them. I didn’t even know anything about them until recently.”
“When we had that weird conversation on the bench, that was your way of trying to tell me about them wasn’t it?”
“I couldn’t outright tell you, I couldn’t do that to David and Mary Margaret, but I needed you to know. By the way if anyone was weird during that conversation, it was you.”
“That was only because you unsettled me. I told you, I don’t lie well when it comes to you. You should have seen me lie to Gold though. It was masterful.”
“You’ve been lying to Gold? You know how dangerous that can be.” Emma looks at her with concern.
“When it comes to Rumplestiltskin there is danger in both truth and lies. Any information the imp has can be used against you. In this case I felt that the truth was far more dangerous than the lie.”
“Which truth are we talking about?” Emma has gone a little pale
“He was trying to crush me by letting me know that Neal was Henry’s biological father. He wanted to show me how replaceable I am in Henry’s life.”
“Regina you know that’s not true.” A fire has been set in Emma’s eyes and it causes her previously pale cheeks to glow.
“I know that, dear. On some level Henry will always care about me, even if it’s never the way that I want.”
“It’s not always going to be this way. I promise.” Emma’s thumbs stops it’s stroking and she places a kiss to Regina’s forehead.
“Don’t make promises you can’t keep, Emma.” Her voice holds more of a threat than she would like it too.
“Okay,” Emma holds her hands up in defeat. “I know I can’t make that happen but I just really want good things for you.”
Regina feels her face soften into a smile. “Getting to play Gold for a fool felt like a good thing.”
“That’s not exactly what I had in mind.”
“Look, I’ll take my happiness where I can get it.”
“And you’re entitled to that,” Emma assures her, “I just happen to think you are entitled to so much more.”
Regina feels her heart constrict at Emma’s words. The sentiment is lovely but Emma doesn’t really mean what she’s saying. Emma is planning to leave, she just won’t admit it. Emma is also expecting a response and Regina manages to say, “Thank you, dear,” and feels that she does a pretty good job of not showing that her heart is breaking.
“You are more than welcome. So, what was this lie that you told Gold?”
“Gold came to gloat. He came to tell me the truth of Henry’s parentage and I…”
Emma tramples over her story by telling her, “But you already about knew that.”
“Of course I did,” Regina replies in a tone that suggests that she will not take kindly to further interruptions.
Emma allows her to continue but not before she utters, “Sorry,” softly and sarcastically.
“Anyway as I was saying, he came to blindside me. He came to hurt me. I let him think that he had and unlike our little debacle on the bench, the conversation went just as it should. I am sure he left believing that he had the upper hand.” There is no reason at all for Gold to think she had prior knowledge of his genetic link to Henry. She lashed out like the wounded animal that he wanted to her to be. She is impressed with how well she played her part. She is a little less impressed with the way she lashed out though. Her comments where designed to cut to bone but she’s not sure whose bone she was aiming for. There are a lot of parallels between Rumple’s relationship with Baelfire and her relationship with Henry and it’s hard to attack Gold without being hit by friendly fire. She tries to push those insecurities to the back of her mind - this morning isn’t about her failed relationship with Henry, it’s about her failing relationship with Emma. “I would have taken great pleasure in bursting his bubble but that might have led to questions about how I was in possession of that information and I thought it best for Gold not to know that sometimes you and I are able to communicate via our dreams.”
“So the method of our communication was the problem here? That was the thing that needed to be lied about?” Emma asks with a smirk.
“The fact that we are close is personal and I’d prefer to keep that detail from him but him knowing about us is not as dangerous as him learning that we can combine our powers.”
“You think it will make us targets?”
“I’ve always been a target,” she says with a casual shrug, “but it would change the way he views you and I don’t want that to happen.”
“Why are you the only one who’s a target? I’m the saviour. I’ve got the magic of true love and all that shit.”
“I’m well aware of that, dear,” she says tersely. She doesn’t want to have to think about Snow White and her fucking perfect, world-altering love.
“I was the one being insulted here, how has this turned around to me offending you?”
“Your lineage is as upsetting to me as Henry’s,” she admits.
“You’d prefer that Henry wasn’t my child?” Emma sounds playful but there is no disguising the hurt in her eyes.
“You know that’s not what I meant.”
“It’s kinda hard to remove me from that equation though.”
“I realise that,” she places her hand on Emma’s knee, “but you are the only part of the equation that I’m at all comfortable with. You just come with a lot of very annoying strings attached.”
“Yeah, I guess I do.”
“Gold was entirely too pleased with himself when he told be about Neal. For a moment there I thought he had manipulated the whole messy scenario. It seemed like way too much of a coincidence. I thought he’d known all along. That he’d deliberately placed Henry in my care so that one day he would be able to tear my life apart by letting me know who Henry really was. I thought it was all an elaborate and cruel joke but if it is it’s not Gold’s joke, it’s fate’s.”
“I know you don’t like the thought of things being out of your control, I’m not a big fan of that either, but if fate gave you Henry, is that really so bad?”
“I’ve already had to accept that almost everything that has happened in my life was at the hands of something or someone else. I was born to make a curse. I’m a pawn. That’s all I am.”
“That’s not true,” Emma places a hand over the one that remains on her knee.
“I even understand that Henry was part of that plan but for a brief moment when I thought his place in my life was something that Gold had contrived I actually felt a sense of relief.”
“Why would that be a relief?” Emma asks.
Regina holds up a finger to silence Emma before continuing, “The idea that one man was plotting against me is easier to deal with than it being an act of fate. If fate did this, what else did fate do? I always felt good about the fact that even though most of my life had been mapped out for me, I found you. You were something that I chose. This was something we both chose. What if I was wrong? What is we don’t even have that?”
“What if we don’t?” Emma says without any hint of distress.
“How does this not bother you?”
“This would be far from the worst thing that fate has ever done to me.”
“That doesn’t make it okay. What if fate just takes you away, what if there is nothing I can do to stop that?” She doesn’t have the words to articulate to Emma just how unacceptable this scenario is to her.
“I can’t see the future,” Emma tells her, “but I have no intention of going anywhere.”
Regina would believe Emma if she didn’t know about the beans. Emma’s promises are false, they are built on lies. Pretty lies from the pretty lips that move to claim Regina’s. She should stop them but she can’t. As Emma kisses her her mind screams that Emma is a betrayer but her heart refuses to believe it. Emma doesn’t kiss like someone who is planning on leaving her, Emma kisses her as though she plans to kiss her for the rest of her life. That’s when Regina realises that Emma isn’t lying to her, she is lying to herself.
Regina isn’t the only one who has things in common with Rumplestiltskin. Just like Gold, Emma still believes she can have it all. That she can have her family and Regina, that she can have everything that life has denied her in the past. Regina was quite happy to shatter Rumple’s illusions but finds it harder to force Emma to let go of hers.
“Good, because I will kill anyone who takes you away from me.”
“Well that’s a little graphic but okay.”
“I mean it,” Regina warns, “I’d kill anyone who did that to me. Even you.”
Her reaction provokes a smile from Emma. “It’s been a while since you threatened to kill me. I was starting to worry that you’d gone soft. Surely you wouldn’t really want to do that, wouldn’t want to rule out all future chances of being with someone as amazing as me.”
“I’d do what needs to be done. I’m a complicated woman,” Regina informs her.
“That you are, honey,” Emma agrees, “but I’m still really glad that fate gave you to me.”
“I don’t like you joking about the fate stuff.”
“Look I’ve had a pretty shitty life, if fate thinks it owes me a hot girlfriend, who am I to complain?”
“That’s how you think of me?” Regina asks.
“We both know that you know that you are an attractive woman Regina.”
“And we both know that that was not the thing I was referring to.”
“Are you saying you know you’re hot?” Emma teases.
Regina rolls her eyes because she is not going to play that game. Her hotness was never in doubt. “Do you really think for me as your girlfriend?”
“Well,” Emma pauses and gives Regina an appraising look, “I think an argument could be made that you fulfil that role.”
“I suppose that some aspects of that job description could definitely apply to me,” Regina muses and leans towards Emma.
The blonde captures her lips for a brief kiss and then tells her, “In fact in many ways you are overqualified for the position.”
“Is that so?” she can feel her body go stiff and her lips press themselves into a thin line.
“I am in no way complaining about your skills and I’m certainly not interviewing other applicants if that’s what you are worried about.” Emma gently laces her fingers through Regina’s.
“But it does sound like you believe I’m not the right candidate.” Regina doesn’t let go of Emma’s hand but she doesn’t curl her fingers down to join Emma’s either.
“I believe I said overqualified, not unsuitable. The term girlfriend seems inadequate under the circumstances.”
She lets her fingers relax slightly as she asks, “And what circumstances would those be, dear?”
“I’ve had girlfriends before,” Regina can feel bile rising in her throat at the thought alone, “but I never felt about them the way that I feel about you. They also weren’t the mother of my child. This thing is complicated, you probably need your own title.”
“I don’t want a title,” Regina tells her, that is far to close to everything that she came to Storybrooke to avoid. “I’m happy with just Regina.”
“I’m good with that too,” Emma says as she bumps their noses together in a Eskimo kiss.
Regina lowers her lips and kisses Emma properly. It’s possible that Emma’s kisses are magic because they make her lose her mind and before she knows what is happening she has opened her mouth and told Emma, “I have not been my best self lately.”
“How’d ya mean?”
“I was angry with Gold and I wanted him to suffer.”
“You’ll forgive me if I think that sounds like every single day.”
“Perhaps,” Regina says as she tries to suppress a laugh, “but I took my frustration out on someone else.”
“What did you do?” Emma asks warily.
“I gave Belle back her curse memories.”
“I thought you said that couldn’t be done.”
“I couldn’t give her back her real memories, crossing the town line stole those from her, but I could fill the void with something else.”
“That doesn’t sound so bad.”
“So why do I feel like I did the wrong thing?”
“I don’t know. Maybe because you did it for the wrong reason?”
“Probably,” she confesses. “I don’t feel bad for him. He deserves all the pain I can bring him but Belle shouldn’t have to suffer just because she cares for him.” At the time it had seemed like the perfect way to punish Gold but now she knows that her actions where rash. What she has done not only opens the door to retribution, it sets a precedent. She has established that loved ones are fair game and in doing so she has placed Henry and Emma at risk.
“It doesn’t matter.”
“Of course it matters.” Even Emma must be able to see what she has done.
“If you are right about the fate controlling things then you had no choice. You gave her the memories because that’s what you were fated to do. You should be happy. This fate stuff, it means you aren’t evil Regina. It means you never were.”
“I don’t accept that. I have to believe that I can do better.”
“I know,” Emma kisses her tenderly.
“What was that for?”
“I just love you.”
“I love you too.” She wonders if the fact that it is so easy to say those words will ever stop being scary, “but you really need to go.”
“Are you kicking me out Mayor Mills?”
“It’s dawn Emma. Do you want to explain to your parents where you were if they wake up and you are not there?”
“I really don’t,” Emma groans and then quickly adds, “not because I’m ashamed of you or what we did last night but that is so not their business. They treat me like an infant and it drives me crazy.”
Regina knows that it’s more complicated than that, that although Emma hates to be belittled she is starting to like the thought that she has people who care about her. “Well I guess that will be less of a problem once they have their own place.”
“I guess,” Emma sounds sceptical.
“I thought that’s want you wanted.”
“I did but now it seems a little too premature.”
“You’d miss Mommy and Daddy too much?” the words feel like acid in her mouth.
“I’ll miss having live in childcare. I hadn’t actually thought through what their absence would mean. It will put a crimp in my lifestyle. I can’t just sneak out at all hours to go and have sex with my hot girlfriend and leave Henry unattended.”
“Henry could always come here.”
“I’m not bringing him along for bootie calls.”
“I’ve gone from girlfriend to bootie call rather quickly don’t you think?”
“I can’t bring Henry here just so you and I can have sex. That is all sorts of messed up.”
“What if he lived here?” she asks and holds her breath. It’s what she wants, it’s what she believes is right, she shouldn’t even have to ask but asking has the potential to go very, very wrong.
“I don’t think we are ready to take that big a step yet, do you?”
She finds herself taken aback. “I was just referring to Henry.”
“Oh I see,” Emma flushes a bright red and looks like she wants to bolt out the door.
“Is that something you’ve thought about? Is that something you would like?”
“One day,” Emma’s voice is barely a whisper, “I mean that’s where I thought this…we….us…it’s where I thought this thing was headed.”
She can forgive the Henry stuff, she can even forgive the leaving stuff a little, because Emma Swan, a woman terrified of losing her freedom, plans to one day settle down with her. Regina has destroyed the bean field, Emma will not be leaving, and so at some point Emma’s commitment will have to be put to the test but for now the idea that Emma has thought about it at all is enough. “Right now can we settle for calling this thing, as you put it, a relationship?”
“Yes,” Emma beams, “yes. I can do that. And I can maybe call you my girlfriend?”
“Who would you be talking to when you call me that?” Her heart is thundering in her chest. There are so many reasons that this is a bad idea.
Emma gives her a strange look. “Just you. I’m fairly sure that anybody else would think I’d gone insane if I called you that.”
“That’s probably true,” she says as she releases a sigh of relief.
“This secret thing is hard at times.”
“Do you want to stop?”
“Hell no! I just got permission to call you my girlfriend, I’m not about to stop now. I just wish it was easier to see you and to contact you.”
“I might be able to help with that.” Regina stands and places a kiss on the top of Emma’s head before telling her, “wait here,” and racing out of the room. She rushes upstairs and finds what she was looking for without difficulty. Regina focuses on the object and lets her magic build within her until she feels it flow down her arm and into the item in her hand. It ripples with purple magic as she carries it back downstairs but by the time she reaches the kitchen it looks mundane.
She passes the hand mirror to Emma and says, “This is for you.”
Emma turns the ornate mirror over in her hands as she tells Regina, “It’s beautiful but I don’t really see how it’s the solution to our problem.”
“With this you can see me in any mirror. You may not have noticed but I have a few of those around. You can use it to check on me. To see if I’m free for you to contact.”
“And you can do the same?” Emma asks.
“Yes but I’d only be looking for you in this particular mirror,” she gestures towards Emma’s hand. “I wouldn’t be able to see you just anywhere. If kept it in your room I’d be able to use it when you were there.”
“Regina,” Emma gives a small laugh, “you do know we both have phones, don’t you?”
“Of course I do but it’s possible that anyone could see the messages or notice the calls. I thought this would give us more privacy but if you don’t like it,” she tries to snatch the mirror out of Emma’s hand.
“I didn’t say that,” Emma holds the mirror out of Regina’s reach. “It just seems a little over the top.”
“This is not something that I did lightly, Emma,” her voice is low and barely under her control. “I don’t have a good history with mirrors. It was a sign of trust that I’d let you watch me through one and a sign of trust in myself that I wouldn’t abuse the power to spy on you.” Her throat stings and she is sure tears will fall if she doesn’t get out of the room.
Regina tries to make her exit but strong arms encircle her from behind, “Hey. It’s okay, it’s okay.” Kisses dance across her shoulder where the robe has fallen down and exposed her skin. “I promise to take good care of it and of you.”
Emma lets go of Regina and uses one hand to push her hair aside before covering the skin of Regina’s neck with her lips. The other hand wanders upwards and Regina feels fingers searching for the opening of her robe. They appear to fail in their quest and resort to squeezing her nipple through the fabric instead. She already feels aroused and it would be so easy to surrender to Emma’s ministrations but can’t ignore the fact that sky continues to lighten outside.
She turns around and kisses Emma. She tries not to make the kiss too deep but their tongues do battle and she scrapes her teeth over Emma’s lip as she breaks the kiss off. “You have to go home now Emma.”
“But this is so much better,” Emma’s hands slide up her legs and cup her ass.
“Agreed but either we stop this now or we stop this when your parents send out a search party for you.”
“You are no fun,” Emma pouts.
“On the contrary, I’m lots of fun.” She thrust her hips towards Emma to emphasise her point. “I’d just prefer to be able to continue to have fun with you in the future.”
“I hate it when you’re right,” Emma says and then places a finger on Regina’s lips as though she expects a sarcastic reply. Emma looks longing at the table and tells her, “I swear one of these days we are actually going to get to drink the coffee you make us.”
“I’m okay with us having other priorities.” Regina helps Emma straighten her clothes and then places the mirror in her hand.
Emma waves the mirror at her and says, “I’ll be in touch,” before bolting out the door.
She knows that they won’t have the future that Emma hopes for. She knows that at some point fate, or Emma’s parents, or both, will step in and ruin everything. She knows that by allowing this relationship to continue she is opening herself up to a world of hurt but she doesn’t care. Screw fate and its plans - the person she is with Emma, the person Emma makes her think she can be, is worth fighting for and no one can stop her from doing that.
Fandom - Once Upon a Time
Pairing - Emma/Regina
Rating - PG13
AN - Set following Lacey and follows my drabbles, Mirror Mirror, This Provincial Life, Viviane or Nimue, Dreams and Wishes, All the Better to…., Magic Keys, Curiouser and Curiouser, Snow Blind, Spinning Straw , Wooden Hearts , Poisoned , True Love and Other Curses, Spellbound, Over the Rainbow, Facades, Lost Girls, Monstrosities, Love and Lies, Something Wicked This Way Comes, Dreamscapes, Homecomings, Test Match, Wishful Thinking, Absent Friends, Small Mercies, State of Mind, Good Intentions, Sins of Mothers, Affairs of the Heart and Power Plays
Future Plans
It is dangerously close to dawn as they make their way down the stairs. They walk in silence and keep their footfalls light. Their stealth is unnecessary, there is no one there to hear them, but it feels wrong to make noise. It’s as if it would be sacrilege to disrupt the stillness of the house with sound. They move like they are under a spell. It is spell that Regina is familiar with and it is not one that she is at all fond of.
It took them a long time to extricate themselves from the bed and longer still to make themselves presentable. Even as they descend the stairs they are gathering discarded items of clothing. Regina is happy to draw things out. She doesn’t want to face the day. Last night told all everything she needed, and didn’t want, to know about today. The sex last night was focused but it was languid and sad. The only other time it had been like that was when Emma was planning to leave and take Henry with her. She knows what last night means and because of that she doesn’t want today to come.
Emma hesitates at the bottom of the stairs and nervously asks Regina, “Would it be all right if we have coffee before I go?”
“I could make us some breakfast if you would like. We did expend a reasonable about of energy last night.”
“That we did, but coffee’s fine.” Emma says with a sad smile. Regina gives her a matching one in return before heading towards the kitchen.
She can’t look at Emma, not right now, and so she busies herself with the fridge and the coffee machine. She doesn’t even bother to scold Emma when she hears her scrape a chair on the floor. The aroma of the percolating coffee soothes her; its earth tones ground her and help her pretend that her world isn’t spinning out of control.
Emma remains silent whilst Regina attends to the coffee but she can feel the blonde fidgeting. Emma’s unease is contagious. Or perhaps it just mirrors Regina’s own. The coffee machine turns out to be a traitor; it produces the brew far too quickly and once it is in the mugs Regina has no choice but to turn and face Emma.
The sheriff’s head is down and yet Regina feels as though she is being watched as she makes her way over to the table. It mortifies her that her hands shake and that when she places Emma’s mug down a large amount sloshes over the edge. Emma doesn’t say anything about it and neither of them does anything about the mess. They both just stare at their coffees like the liquid holds the secrets to the universe.
In the end Emma is the first to break the silence. It probably had to be that way, Emma is the more human of the two. “Are you okay?” she asks.
“I’m fine,” Regina replies curtly.
“Liar.”
Regina sighs and runs a hand through her hair. “I am normally such a good liar but I seem to fail when it comes to you.”
“It’s not you,” Emma gives her a small encouraging smile, “it’s my damn superpower.”
She lets out a laugh that manages to make the air seem more breathable.
“Hey!” Emma exclaims. “I’ll have you know that being able to tell when people are lying is no laughing matter.”
“Probably not but it’s not a superpower either.”
“Is too,” comes Emma’s childish response.
“Dearest, setting fire to things with your mind is a superpower, one that you are capable of by the way. Being able to tell if people are lying is nothing more than intuition, some lucky guesses and a healthy dose of paranoia.”
“I don’t mock your superpowers,” Emma grumbles.
“That’s because they are far more impressive than yours.”
The smile Emma shoots her shows traces of annoyance but it is still a genuine smile. “How do you do that?”
“How do I do what, dear?”
“Make me feel comfortable and happy when those are the last things I should be feeling?”
“You mean because you are leaving me?” she says the words she didn’t even want to think about. Voicing your fears is meant to make things easier but somehow it only makes the words seem more powerful. More real.
“So you know about the beans?”
“I didn’t have to. The way you treated me last night let me know that you are leaving.”
Emma tilts her head to the side and asks, “How did I treat you?”
“Tenderly.”
“And you don’t think I treat you like that normally?” She can sense the pain in Emma’s voice.
“It’s okay. People like me, we don’t deserve tenderness.”
“Oh Regina,” Emma moves towards her and cups her cheek, “that’s just not true.”
She winces at the contact of Emma’s hand and draws back. “You’ve only been that way with me once before. It was the time….” She scrunches her eyes shut and shakes her head trying desperately to dispel images of the night in question.
Emma cautiously strokes her face again. Regina flinches but she doesn’t withdraw. “If you recall correctly,” Emma says quietly, “I didn’t leave that night.”
“But you wanted to,” she hasn’t managed a sip yet but she suspects that her tone is more bitter than the coffee she made.
“It felt like the right thing to do. It felt like the sensible thing to do.”
“See,” she hisses.
“And yet I couldn’t leave you,” Emma’s hand now rests along her jaw and a thumb moves idly over Regina’s cheek bone. “I didn’t leave you then and I won’t leave you now.”
“There’s a field full of beans that suggests otherwise.” She neglects to mention that it’s a burnt field; some things really are better left unsaid.
“I didn’t plant them. I didn’t even know anything about them until recently.”
“When we had that weird conversation on the bench, that was your way of trying to tell me about them wasn’t it?”
“I couldn’t outright tell you, I couldn’t do that to David and Mary Margaret, but I needed you to know. By the way if anyone was weird during that conversation, it was you.”
“That was only because you unsettled me. I told you, I don’t lie well when it comes to you. You should have seen me lie to Gold though. It was masterful.”
“You’ve been lying to Gold? You know how dangerous that can be.” Emma looks at her with concern.
“When it comes to Rumplestiltskin there is danger in both truth and lies. Any information the imp has can be used against you. In this case I felt that the truth was far more dangerous than the lie.”
“Which truth are we talking about?” Emma has gone a little pale
“He was trying to crush me by letting me know that Neal was Henry’s biological father. He wanted to show me how replaceable I am in Henry’s life.”
“Regina you know that’s not true.” A fire has been set in Emma’s eyes and it causes her previously pale cheeks to glow.
“I know that, dear. On some level Henry will always care about me, even if it’s never the way that I want.”
“It’s not always going to be this way. I promise.” Emma’s thumbs stops it’s stroking and she places a kiss to Regina’s forehead.
“Don’t make promises you can’t keep, Emma.” Her voice holds more of a threat than she would like it too.
“Okay,” Emma holds her hands up in defeat. “I know I can’t make that happen but I just really want good things for you.”
Regina feels her face soften into a smile. “Getting to play Gold for a fool felt like a good thing.”
“That’s not exactly what I had in mind.”
“Look, I’ll take my happiness where I can get it.”
“And you’re entitled to that,” Emma assures her, “I just happen to think you are entitled to so much more.”
Regina feels her heart constrict at Emma’s words. The sentiment is lovely but Emma doesn’t really mean what she’s saying. Emma is planning to leave, she just won’t admit it. Emma is also expecting a response and Regina manages to say, “Thank you, dear,” and feels that she does a pretty good job of not showing that her heart is breaking.
“You are more than welcome. So, what was this lie that you told Gold?”
“Gold came to gloat. He came to tell me the truth of Henry’s parentage and I…”
Emma tramples over her story by telling her, “But you already about knew that.”
“Of course I did,” Regina replies in a tone that suggests that she will not take kindly to further interruptions.
Emma allows her to continue but not before she utters, “Sorry,” softly and sarcastically.
“Anyway as I was saying, he came to blindside me. He came to hurt me. I let him think that he had and unlike our little debacle on the bench, the conversation went just as it should. I am sure he left believing that he had the upper hand.” There is no reason at all for Gold to think she had prior knowledge of his genetic link to Henry. She lashed out like the wounded animal that he wanted to her to be. She is impressed with how well she played her part. She is a little less impressed with the way she lashed out though. Her comments where designed to cut to bone but she’s not sure whose bone she was aiming for. There are a lot of parallels between Rumple’s relationship with Baelfire and her relationship with Henry and it’s hard to attack Gold without being hit by friendly fire. She tries to push those insecurities to the back of her mind - this morning isn’t about her failed relationship with Henry, it’s about her failing relationship with Emma. “I would have taken great pleasure in bursting his bubble but that might have led to questions about how I was in possession of that information and I thought it best for Gold not to know that sometimes you and I are able to communicate via our dreams.”
“So the method of our communication was the problem here? That was the thing that needed to be lied about?” Emma asks with a smirk.
“The fact that we are close is personal and I’d prefer to keep that detail from him but him knowing about us is not as dangerous as him learning that we can combine our powers.”
“You think it will make us targets?”
“I’ve always been a target,” she says with a casual shrug, “but it would change the way he views you and I don’t want that to happen.”
“Why are you the only one who’s a target? I’m the saviour. I’ve got the magic of true love and all that shit.”
“I’m well aware of that, dear,” she says tersely. She doesn’t want to have to think about Snow White and her fucking perfect, world-altering love.
“I was the one being insulted here, how has this turned around to me offending you?”
“Your lineage is as upsetting to me as Henry’s,” she admits.
“You’d prefer that Henry wasn’t my child?” Emma sounds playful but there is no disguising the hurt in her eyes.
“You know that’s not what I meant.”
“It’s kinda hard to remove me from that equation though.”
“I realise that,” she places her hand on Emma’s knee, “but you are the only part of the equation that I’m at all comfortable with. You just come with a lot of very annoying strings attached.”
“Yeah, I guess I do.”
“Gold was entirely too pleased with himself when he told be about Neal. For a moment there I thought he had manipulated the whole messy scenario. It seemed like way too much of a coincidence. I thought he’d known all along. That he’d deliberately placed Henry in my care so that one day he would be able to tear my life apart by letting me know who Henry really was. I thought it was all an elaborate and cruel joke but if it is it’s not Gold’s joke, it’s fate’s.”
“I know you don’t like the thought of things being out of your control, I’m not a big fan of that either, but if fate gave you Henry, is that really so bad?”
“I’ve already had to accept that almost everything that has happened in my life was at the hands of something or someone else. I was born to make a curse. I’m a pawn. That’s all I am.”
“That’s not true,” Emma places a hand over the one that remains on her knee.
“I even understand that Henry was part of that plan but for a brief moment when I thought his place in my life was something that Gold had contrived I actually felt a sense of relief.”
“Why would that be a relief?” Emma asks.
Regina holds up a finger to silence Emma before continuing, “The idea that one man was plotting against me is easier to deal with than it being an act of fate. If fate did this, what else did fate do? I always felt good about the fact that even though most of my life had been mapped out for me, I found you. You were something that I chose. This was something we both chose. What if I was wrong? What is we don’t even have that?”
“What if we don’t?” Emma says without any hint of distress.
“How does this not bother you?”
“This would be far from the worst thing that fate has ever done to me.”
“That doesn’t make it okay. What if fate just takes you away, what if there is nothing I can do to stop that?” She doesn’t have the words to articulate to Emma just how unacceptable this scenario is to her.
“I can’t see the future,” Emma tells her, “but I have no intention of going anywhere.”
Regina would believe Emma if she didn’t know about the beans. Emma’s promises are false, they are built on lies. Pretty lies from the pretty lips that move to claim Regina’s. She should stop them but she can’t. As Emma kisses her her mind screams that Emma is a betrayer but her heart refuses to believe it. Emma doesn’t kiss like someone who is planning on leaving her, Emma kisses her as though she plans to kiss her for the rest of her life. That’s when Regina realises that Emma isn’t lying to her, she is lying to herself.
Regina isn’t the only one who has things in common with Rumplestiltskin. Just like Gold, Emma still believes she can have it all. That she can have her family and Regina, that she can have everything that life has denied her in the past. Regina was quite happy to shatter Rumple’s illusions but finds it harder to force Emma to let go of hers.
“Good, because I will kill anyone who takes you away from me.”
“Well that’s a little graphic but okay.”
“I mean it,” Regina warns, “I’d kill anyone who did that to me. Even you.”
Her reaction provokes a smile from Emma. “It’s been a while since you threatened to kill me. I was starting to worry that you’d gone soft. Surely you wouldn’t really want to do that, wouldn’t want to rule out all future chances of being with someone as amazing as me.”
“I’d do what needs to be done. I’m a complicated woman,” Regina informs her.
“That you are, honey,” Emma agrees, “but I’m still really glad that fate gave you to me.”
“I don’t like you joking about the fate stuff.”
“Look I’ve had a pretty shitty life, if fate thinks it owes me a hot girlfriend, who am I to complain?”
“That’s how you think of me?” Regina asks.
“We both know that you know that you are an attractive woman Regina.”
“And we both know that that was not the thing I was referring to.”
“Are you saying you know you’re hot?” Emma teases.
Regina rolls her eyes because she is not going to play that game. Her hotness was never in doubt. “Do you really think for me as your girlfriend?”
“Well,” Emma pauses and gives Regina an appraising look, “I think an argument could be made that you fulfil that role.”
“I suppose that some aspects of that job description could definitely apply to me,” Regina muses and leans towards Emma.
The blonde captures her lips for a brief kiss and then tells her, “In fact in many ways you are overqualified for the position.”
“Is that so?” she can feel her body go stiff and her lips press themselves into a thin line.
“I am in no way complaining about your skills and I’m certainly not interviewing other applicants if that’s what you are worried about.” Emma gently laces her fingers through Regina’s.
“But it does sound like you believe I’m not the right candidate.” Regina doesn’t let go of Emma’s hand but she doesn’t curl her fingers down to join Emma’s either.
“I believe I said overqualified, not unsuitable. The term girlfriend seems inadequate under the circumstances.”
She lets her fingers relax slightly as she asks, “And what circumstances would those be, dear?”
“I’ve had girlfriends before,” Regina can feel bile rising in her throat at the thought alone, “but I never felt about them the way that I feel about you. They also weren’t the mother of my child. This thing is complicated, you probably need your own title.”
“I don’t want a title,” Regina tells her, that is far to close to everything that she came to Storybrooke to avoid. “I’m happy with just Regina.”
“I’m good with that too,” Emma says as she bumps their noses together in a Eskimo kiss.
Regina lowers her lips and kisses Emma properly. It’s possible that Emma’s kisses are magic because they make her lose her mind and before she knows what is happening she has opened her mouth and told Emma, “I have not been my best self lately.”
“How’d ya mean?”
“I was angry with Gold and I wanted him to suffer.”
“You’ll forgive me if I think that sounds like every single day.”
“Perhaps,” Regina says as she tries to suppress a laugh, “but I took my frustration out on someone else.”
“What did you do?” Emma asks warily.
“I gave Belle back her curse memories.”
“I thought you said that couldn’t be done.”
“I couldn’t give her back her real memories, crossing the town line stole those from her, but I could fill the void with something else.”
“That doesn’t sound so bad.”
“So why do I feel like I did the wrong thing?”
“I don’t know. Maybe because you did it for the wrong reason?”
“Probably,” she confesses. “I don’t feel bad for him. He deserves all the pain I can bring him but Belle shouldn’t have to suffer just because she cares for him.” At the time it had seemed like the perfect way to punish Gold but now she knows that her actions where rash. What she has done not only opens the door to retribution, it sets a precedent. She has established that loved ones are fair game and in doing so she has placed Henry and Emma at risk.
“It doesn’t matter.”
“Of course it matters.” Even Emma must be able to see what she has done.
“If you are right about the fate controlling things then you had no choice. You gave her the memories because that’s what you were fated to do. You should be happy. This fate stuff, it means you aren’t evil Regina. It means you never were.”
“I don’t accept that. I have to believe that I can do better.”
“I know,” Emma kisses her tenderly.
“What was that for?”
“I just love you.”
“I love you too.” She wonders if the fact that it is so easy to say those words will ever stop being scary, “but you really need to go.”
“Are you kicking me out Mayor Mills?”
“It’s dawn Emma. Do you want to explain to your parents where you were if they wake up and you are not there?”
“I really don’t,” Emma groans and then quickly adds, “not because I’m ashamed of you or what we did last night but that is so not their business. They treat me like an infant and it drives me crazy.”
Regina knows that it’s more complicated than that, that although Emma hates to be belittled she is starting to like the thought that she has people who care about her. “Well I guess that will be less of a problem once they have their own place.”
“I guess,” Emma sounds sceptical.
“I thought that’s want you wanted.”
“I did but now it seems a little too premature.”
“You’d miss Mommy and Daddy too much?” the words feel like acid in her mouth.
“I’ll miss having live in childcare. I hadn’t actually thought through what their absence would mean. It will put a crimp in my lifestyle. I can’t just sneak out at all hours to go and have sex with my hot girlfriend and leave Henry unattended.”
“Henry could always come here.”
“I’m not bringing him along for bootie calls.”
“I’ve gone from girlfriend to bootie call rather quickly don’t you think?”
“I can’t bring Henry here just so you and I can have sex. That is all sorts of messed up.”
“What if he lived here?” she asks and holds her breath. It’s what she wants, it’s what she believes is right, she shouldn’t even have to ask but asking has the potential to go very, very wrong.
“I don’t think we are ready to take that big a step yet, do you?”
She finds herself taken aback. “I was just referring to Henry.”
“Oh I see,” Emma flushes a bright red and looks like she wants to bolt out the door.
“Is that something you’ve thought about? Is that something you would like?”
“One day,” Emma’s voice is barely a whisper, “I mean that’s where I thought this…we….us…it’s where I thought this thing was headed.”
She can forgive the Henry stuff, she can even forgive the leaving stuff a little, because Emma Swan, a woman terrified of losing her freedom, plans to one day settle down with her. Regina has destroyed the bean field, Emma will not be leaving, and so at some point Emma’s commitment will have to be put to the test but for now the idea that Emma has thought about it at all is enough. “Right now can we settle for calling this thing, as you put it, a relationship?”
“Yes,” Emma beams, “yes. I can do that. And I can maybe call you my girlfriend?”
“Who would you be talking to when you call me that?” Her heart is thundering in her chest. There are so many reasons that this is a bad idea.
Emma gives her a strange look. “Just you. I’m fairly sure that anybody else would think I’d gone insane if I called you that.”
“That’s probably true,” she says as she releases a sigh of relief.
“This secret thing is hard at times.”
“Do you want to stop?”
“Hell no! I just got permission to call you my girlfriend, I’m not about to stop now. I just wish it was easier to see you and to contact you.”
“I might be able to help with that.” Regina stands and places a kiss on the top of Emma’s head before telling her, “wait here,” and racing out of the room. She rushes upstairs and finds what she was looking for without difficulty. Regina focuses on the object and lets her magic build within her until she feels it flow down her arm and into the item in her hand. It ripples with purple magic as she carries it back downstairs but by the time she reaches the kitchen it looks mundane.
She passes the hand mirror to Emma and says, “This is for you.”
Emma turns the ornate mirror over in her hands as she tells Regina, “It’s beautiful but I don’t really see how it’s the solution to our problem.”
“With this you can see me in any mirror. You may not have noticed but I have a few of those around. You can use it to check on me. To see if I’m free for you to contact.”
“And you can do the same?” Emma asks.
“Yes but I’d only be looking for you in this particular mirror,” she gestures towards Emma’s hand. “I wouldn’t be able to see you just anywhere. If kept it in your room I’d be able to use it when you were there.”
“Regina,” Emma gives a small laugh, “you do know we both have phones, don’t you?”
“Of course I do but it’s possible that anyone could see the messages or notice the calls. I thought this would give us more privacy but if you don’t like it,” she tries to snatch the mirror out of Emma’s hand.
“I didn’t say that,” Emma holds the mirror out of Regina’s reach. “It just seems a little over the top.”
“This is not something that I did lightly, Emma,” her voice is low and barely under her control. “I don’t have a good history with mirrors. It was a sign of trust that I’d let you watch me through one and a sign of trust in myself that I wouldn’t abuse the power to spy on you.” Her throat stings and she is sure tears will fall if she doesn’t get out of the room.
Regina tries to make her exit but strong arms encircle her from behind, “Hey. It’s okay, it’s okay.” Kisses dance across her shoulder where the robe has fallen down and exposed her skin. “I promise to take good care of it and of you.”
Emma lets go of Regina and uses one hand to push her hair aside before covering the skin of Regina’s neck with her lips. The other hand wanders upwards and Regina feels fingers searching for the opening of her robe. They appear to fail in their quest and resort to squeezing her nipple through the fabric instead. She already feels aroused and it would be so easy to surrender to Emma’s ministrations but can’t ignore the fact that sky continues to lighten outside.
She turns around and kisses Emma. She tries not to make the kiss too deep but their tongues do battle and she scrapes her teeth over Emma’s lip as she breaks the kiss off. “You have to go home now Emma.”
“But this is so much better,” Emma’s hands slide up her legs and cup her ass.
“Agreed but either we stop this now or we stop this when your parents send out a search party for you.”
“You are no fun,” Emma pouts.
“On the contrary, I’m lots of fun.” She thrust her hips towards Emma to emphasise her point. “I’d just prefer to be able to continue to have fun with you in the future.”
“I hate it when you’re right,” Emma says and then places a finger on Regina’s lips as though she expects a sarcastic reply. Emma looks longing at the table and tells her, “I swear one of these days we are actually going to get to drink the coffee you make us.”
“I’m okay with us having other priorities.” Regina helps Emma straighten her clothes and then places the mirror in her hand.
Emma waves the mirror at her and says, “I’ll be in touch,” before bolting out the door.
She knows that they won’t have the future that Emma hopes for. She knows that at some point fate, or Emma’s parents, or both, will step in and ruin everything. She knows that by allowing this relationship to continue she is opening herself up to a world of hurt but she doesn’t care. Screw fate and its plans - the person she is with Emma, the person Emma makes her think she can be, is worth fighting for and no one can stop her from doing that.