[Wrestling] Monday Night Wars GO! (round 1: TNA Impact!)
TNA Impact! Spoilers beneath.
As a matter of fact, who were all those other fuckers, as well?! And no, we don't wanna know who you used to be, we wanna know who you are now! *grin*
Cards on the table, I had never watched TNA before in my life. Like, I imagine, a great many other people, I decided this was a good place to come in. 4 January 2010, the opening night of the New Monday Night Wars!
And fuck me, but I'm glad I'd read up some wrestling history before the party started or I would not have had a clue what was going on. I've never seen such a sideshow-barrel-of-sawdust of a show script in my life. Talk about a prize every time. Pony up, put your hand in the barrel, and come away with...
...well, with your very own nineties wrestling veteran, probably. There were certainly more than enough of them to go round. At one point, the contents of the ring had a combined total age of 248 and there were only five people in there. O_O
However, before I get into the vast amount of politics, drama, and soap opera that appears to have descended, I'd just like to say that coming in from a WWE watcher's perspective, there's actually quite a bit about TNA that I found really interesting. First off, I really liked the atmosphere, and if that's what it's like every week then I'd definitely watch more - the crowd were much more actively interested and in-yer-face than WWE's rather entitled-acting audiences ever seem to be, responsive and enthusiastic, with cute stuff to say when Bubba the Love Sponge started shoving a mic at them and a wide and well-executed range of chants. I was particularly glee'd by "THIS IS WRESTLING!", the round of "THANK YOU JEFF!" for Jeff Jarrett, "WHO NEEDS BRET?", the deft trading of "Angle" and "AJ" chants in the main event, and of course the fact that TNA fans are apparently not afraid to be censored. I can't picture WWE fans starting chants that resulted in Hulk Hogan having to have his mic time interrupted by show-wide beeps! *glee*
As for the performances - I got the impression that TNA's match style is much more about being able to wrestle, and much less about whether you can make sure the cameras see you do it. The younger members of the roster collectively impressed me a great deal, especially the X Division boys (what I could see of them for the steel cage around the ring) - a lot of strong, fast, fearless young men in there. Also I got a distinct sense that they're less concerned about playing it safe than WWE. There weren't any really brutal matches, but based on what I saw, it felt like there could be, and nobody would stop it - and that's good. My only complaint is that they seem to rather like ultra-quick blink-and-miss-it matches, which I'm not much fond of. Still, I guess they were trying to cram a lot in.
And the women's division! Holy hells, I was practically out of my seat with joy. WWE Divas, watch and fucking learn, willya? No endless shrieking, no catfights, no hairpulling (well, no more than the boys do) - just strong, muscled, tough girls who can, mother of madness, actually freakin' wrestle. I watched both the singles and tag team matches with interest, and I enjoyed them, for real. Don't get that from the competition...
So yes, congratulations TNA, you got my attention and you've held it. I would happily watch more of this good stuff what you are putting about. Excellent!
Now onto the bits that were more about the special occasion than about TNA generally, and thus to the nineties-lucky-dip element of things. Things (and people) happened at a hell of a rate throughout, including:
JEFF HARDYYYYY! I admit it, I actually screamed out loud when I saw Jeff come running down through the crowd after the Steel Asylum match was declared a no-contest. He looked so damn beautiful in his street clothes and smiling like that, and it did my heart good to see the fans grabbing and petting and hugging him like he was their favouritest critter in the whole world. And when he scrambled lithely up the outside of the cage to perch calmly on the top in a classic Jeffpose (seriously, even the way the man sits down looks cool), looking so chilled and laid-back and blissful, well. I think I briefly metamorphosed into a being of pure fluff. Jeff... ♥♥♥. (And then him and Shannon with those all-important yellow envelopes! And the funny-cos-it's-true Jeff Hardy Fangirls moment! And that sports car, oh my gods, Jeff, what were you driving there, and can I have a lift please? ^_^)
Sting! I admit I don't know that much about Sting, partly because nobody I know in the fandom ever seems to discuss him and I picked up a lot of my knowledge of the older stars by reading everyone else's journals >.>, but he is beautiful and he intrigues me (I have this thing for guys in black and white makeup). And he lurks in the rafters holding a baseball bat and wearing a leather duster! Good enough for me.
Ric Flair! Heeee, should've known the old fox wouldn't be able to keep his nose out of the chicken coop once things started lighting up. But what was he doing in AJ Styles' locker room for the entire show? The world may never want to know...
HULK HOGAN. Obviously. Now, I was not there the first time round. I did not do the Hulk Hogan thang. I admit this. But I still know who the hell he is, and when he sauntered out and stood at the top of the ramp with his arms folded and a hint of a smile under that enduringly ludicrous moustache, I was completely sucked in. The man radiates charisma like a million watt floodlight. I could totally understand what the fans in the yellow shirts and feather boas and endless bandanas were getting so starry-eyed about, cos you really can't miss that the guy is something special. Although based on events throughout the show, I'm damned if I can work out whether we're supposed to be cheering for him or not right now. O_O
Mick Foley! Miiiiick. I <3 Mick Foley. Reading his autobiography was one of the things that made me get really interested in wrestling - he's so totally not a glamorous superstar type, but he does his job and loves his job and has broken more bones for the business than anyone ever should, and he comes over as a wry, clever, lovely human being underneath it all and I massively respect him. Also notable as one of a large number of people who security tried to keep out and failed, along with...
Scotty and Kid! OMG, Kliq love! I have no idea if they were in fact both reeling drunk or merely looked and sounded it, but either way, the pair of them were a hopeless, ridiculous, adorable mess. And then Kev coming out and joining them in the ring with Hogan, and the hugs and the little wolf-handshakes and the way they just are, so much love. I admit, I was sitting watching with someone who doesn't share my thing for the Kliq, and I could see how through unsympathetic eyes it might not be entirely clear what's so special about this pair of staggering, slurring reprobates - but they are the Kliq. And thus, <33333333 forever and you can't tell me not to. *grin*
Aaaaaand then there was the whole Pro Wrestling, This is Your Life business with about a million years of messing around between Hogan, Eric, Jeff Jarrett, Mick, Kevin, Scott and Sean in various permutations, and epic soap opera ensued as everyone apparently attempted to stab everyone else in the back to the point that now I haven't got the faintest idea who we're supposed to be cheering for except that, as ever, it isn't Eric Bischoff. *g* File me under "confused but delighted", mostly.
And yes, I do want to know what happens next, so I guess the show did what it was meant to do. Nice one TNA! Despite all the trash-talk and associated drama and the completely insane revolving door of "how many dudes' worth of ratings do we have to add up to equal one Bret Hart?", the sense of giddy wide-eyed oh-fuck-we're-really-doing-it adrenaline that hung over both performers and audience won my heart. They're surely taking a risk going up against WWE head to head, and they clearly know it - but like they say, it's not the size of the dog in the fight, and to judge by tonight there is a LOT of fight in the TNA dog. Admittedly TNA may be a bit of a rough-haired raggy-dog mongrel compared to the WWE's lovingly groomed show-beastie but, to extend the metaphor slightly past its centre of gravity, hybrid vigour is always worth something, right?
Er. Anyway, yes, long review was long and mostly consisted of me flailing. I will be more intelligent about all this once I've watched a few more episodes and decided which of the regular TNA talent, as opposed to the sudden deluge of [old/new] additions, I want to fall in love with. Honest. *g*
Laters,
Rath
As a matter of fact, who were all those other fuckers, as well?! And no, we don't wanna know who you used to be, we wanna know who you are now! *grin*
Cards on the table, I had never watched TNA before in my life. Like, I imagine, a great many other people, I decided this was a good place to come in. 4 January 2010, the opening night of the New Monday Night Wars!
And fuck me, but I'm glad I'd read up some wrestling history before the party started or I would not have had a clue what was going on. I've never seen such a sideshow-barrel-of-sawdust of a show script in my life. Talk about a prize every time. Pony up, put your hand in the barrel, and come away with...
...well, with your very own nineties wrestling veteran, probably. There were certainly more than enough of them to go round. At one point, the contents of the ring had a combined total age of 248 and there were only five people in there. O_O
However, before I get into the vast amount of politics, drama, and soap opera that appears to have descended, I'd just like to say that coming in from a WWE watcher's perspective, there's actually quite a bit about TNA that I found really interesting. First off, I really liked the atmosphere, and if that's what it's like every week then I'd definitely watch more - the crowd were much more actively interested and in-yer-face than WWE's rather entitled-acting audiences ever seem to be, responsive and enthusiastic, with cute stuff to say when Bubba the Love Sponge started shoving a mic at them and a wide and well-executed range of chants. I was particularly glee'd by "THIS IS WRESTLING!", the round of "THANK YOU JEFF!" for Jeff Jarrett, "WHO NEEDS BRET?", the deft trading of "Angle" and "AJ" chants in the main event, and of course the fact that TNA fans are apparently not afraid to be censored. I can't picture WWE fans starting chants that resulted in Hulk Hogan having to have his mic time interrupted by show-wide beeps! *glee*
As for the performances - I got the impression that TNA's match style is much more about being able to wrestle, and much less about whether you can make sure the cameras see you do it. The younger members of the roster collectively impressed me a great deal, especially the X Division boys (what I could see of them for the steel cage around the ring) - a lot of strong, fast, fearless young men in there. Also I got a distinct sense that they're less concerned about playing it safe than WWE. There weren't any really brutal matches, but based on what I saw, it felt like there could be, and nobody would stop it - and that's good. My only complaint is that they seem to rather like ultra-quick blink-and-miss-it matches, which I'm not much fond of. Still, I guess they were trying to cram a lot in.
And the women's division! Holy hells, I was practically out of my seat with joy. WWE Divas, watch and fucking learn, willya? No endless shrieking, no catfights, no hairpulling (well, no more than the boys do) - just strong, muscled, tough girls who can, mother of madness, actually freakin' wrestle. I watched both the singles and tag team matches with interest, and I enjoyed them, for real. Don't get that from the competition...
So yes, congratulations TNA, you got my attention and you've held it. I would happily watch more of this good stuff what you are putting about. Excellent!
Now onto the bits that were more about the special occasion than about TNA generally, and thus to the nineties-lucky-dip element of things. Things (and people) happened at a hell of a rate throughout, including:
JEFF HARDYYYYY! I admit it, I actually screamed out loud when I saw Jeff come running down through the crowd after the Steel Asylum match was declared a no-contest. He looked so damn beautiful in his street clothes and smiling like that, and it did my heart good to see the fans grabbing and petting and hugging him like he was their favouritest critter in the whole world. And when he scrambled lithely up the outside of the cage to perch calmly on the top in a classic Jeffpose (seriously, even the way the man sits down looks cool), looking so chilled and laid-back and blissful, well. I think I briefly metamorphosed into a being of pure fluff. Jeff... ♥♥♥. (And then him and Shannon with those all-important yellow envelopes! And the funny-cos-it's-true Jeff Hardy Fangirls moment! And that sports car, oh my gods, Jeff, what were you driving there, and can I have a lift please? ^_^)
Sting! I admit I don't know that much about Sting, partly because nobody I know in the fandom ever seems to discuss him and I picked up a lot of my knowledge of the older stars by reading everyone else's journals >.>, but he is beautiful and he intrigues me (I have this thing for guys in black and white makeup). And he lurks in the rafters holding a baseball bat and wearing a leather duster! Good enough for me.
Ric Flair! Heeee, should've known the old fox wouldn't be able to keep his nose out of the chicken coop once things started lighting up. But what was he doing in AJ Styles' locker room for the entire show? The world may never want to know...
HULK HOGAN. Obviously. Now, I was not there the first time round. I did not do the Hulk Hogan thang. I admit this. But I still know who the hell he is, and when he sauntered out and stood at the top of the ramp with his arms folded and a hint of a smile under that enduringly ludicrous moustache, I was completely sucked in. The man radiates charisma like a million watt floodlight. I could totally understand what the fans in the yellow shirts and feather boas and endless bandanas were getting so starry-eyed about, cos you really can't miss that the guy is something special. Although based on events throughout the show, I'm damned if I can work out whether we're supposed to be cheering for him or not right now. O_O
Mick Foley! Miiiiick. I <3 Mick Foley. Reading his autobiography was one of the things that made me get really interested in wrestling - he's so totally not a glamorous superstar type, but he does his job and loves his job and has broken more bones for the business than anyone ever should, and he comes over as a wry, clever, lovely human being underneath it all and I massively respect him. Also notable as one of a large number of people who security tried to keep out and failed, along with...
Scotty and Kid! OMG, Kliq love! I have no idea if they were in fact both reeling drunk or merely looked and sounded it, but either way, the pair of them were a hopeless, ridiculous, adorable mess. And then Kev coming out and joining them in the ring with Hogan, and the hugs and the little wolf-handshakes and the way they just are, so much love. I admit, I was sitting watching with someone who doesn't share my thing for the Kliq, and I could see how through unsympathetic eyes it might not be entirely clear what's so special about this pair of staggering, slurring reprobates - but they are the Kliq. And thus, <33333333 forever and you can't tell me not to. *grin*
Aaaaaand then there was the whole Pro Wrestling, This is Your Life business with about a million years of messing around between Hogan, Eric, Jeff Jarrett, Mick, Kevin, Scott and Sean in various permutations, and epic soap opera ensued as everyone apparently attempted to stab everyone else in the back to the point that now I haven't got the faintest idea who we're supposed to be cheering for except that, as ever, it isn't Eric Bischoff. *g* File me under "confused but delighted", mostly.
And yes, I do want to know what happens next, so I guess the show did what it was meant to do. Nice one TNA! Despite all the trash-talk and associated drama and the completely insane revolving door of "how many dudes' worth of ratings do we have to add up to equal one Bret Hart?", the sense of giddy wide-eyed oh-fuck-we're-really-doing-it adrenaline that hung over both performers and audience won my heart. They're surely taking a risk going up against WWE head to head, and they clearly know it - but like they say, it's not the size of the dog in the fight, and to judge by tonight there is a LOT of fight in the TNA dog. Admittedly TNA may be a bit of a rough-haired raggy-dog mongrel compared to the WWE's lovingly groomed show-beastie but, to extend the metaphor slightly past its centre of gravity, hybrid vigour is always worth something, right?
Er. Anyway, yes, long review was long and mostly consisted of me flailing. I will be more intelligent about all this once I've watched a few more episodes and decided which of the regular TNA talent, as opposed to the sudden deluge of [old/new] additions, I want to fall in love with. Honest. *g*
Laters,
Rath