Once as my heart remembers (1/2)
Here you are: A brand new story. :D
TITLE: Once as my heart remembers.
AUTHOR: faith-in-Faith
DISCLAIMER: I still don’t own any of this….
PARING: Bosco and Faith
RATING: PG -13
SUMMARY: Some moments and people are forever burned in your mind, others in your heart….
SPOILERS: Since this is an alternative universe story, I guess none. But it’s based on the eppie “true love”
AUTHOR’S NOTE: OK, so this is my first AU story. It’s inspired by a beautiful song from Enya called “Once as my heart remembers” I have never done this before, so just bare with me, OK? It’s one more chapter but it might be a while before I can put up part two, but it will be up. I promise. :) Please read and review!
Type your cut contents here.ONCE AS MY HEART REMEMBERS.
Faith Yokas slipped on her coat and searched through her purse for her hat and gloves. Another long day had come to an end and she was happy she didn’t have to witness anymore of the horrible things the people of New York City did to each other - at least not today. She headed through the hall and nodded at a couple of familiar faces. She had almost reached the sliding doors when someone called her name.
She turned around and looked questioningly at Nurse Proctor.
“Yes, Mary?”
Mary Proctor went around the nurses’ desk and walked toward her. Faith started walking as well and they met half way between the desk and entrance.
“Were you on your way home?”
Faith nodded. “Yes, is there something I can do for you?”
Proctor hesitated. “I wanted to ask you a favour but I shouldn’t bother you. You’re on your way home and….”
“Mary,” Faith said softly. “What is it?”
Mary sighed. “It’s this woman in exam four. Her boyfriend has beaten her pretty bad and --”
“Let me guess, she doesn’t want to press charges?”
Proctor nodded tiredly. “Exactly! And usually I wouldn’t care. We both know we can’t convince them unless they’re ready, but she’s the mother to one of the cops. He’s very upset about it and I think he would feel better if she would at least charge the bastard. So, I thought you could try to convince her. You’re good with these kinds of women.”
Faith nodded in agreement. As a social worker, she handled all kinds of cases, but the one involving abused women had always held a special place in her heart and she was usually good at getting through to them.
Both Mary and Faith knew that this wasn’t Faith’s district, but she sometimes covered for the woman whose district it was and since it was one of those days, and she liked Mary, she figured she could do it.
“Sure, I can try, but I’m not promising you anything.”
Proctor gave her a relieved smile. “That’s all I’m asking for. Thank you, Faith. I owe you one.”
Faith smiled faintly in return. “Has she been here before? For the same reason, I mean?”
Proctor nodded. “Yes, she has, but it was several years ago. I don’t think it was the same guy.”
“OK, what’s her name?”
“Rose Boscorelli - exam four.”
“OK.”
Faith took off her coat again and hung it over her arm before stepping into exam four. She felt slightly nervous because the name Boscorelli had stirred a memory in her. A memory of a night she couldn’t forget - a night she didn’t want to forget.
Faith entered the room and looked at the woman inside. She was in her early fifties, blond hair, blue eyes, one encircled by an angry black bruise along with some other cuts and bruises. Nothing about her seemed familiar and Faith felt relieved.
“Who are you and what do you want?” the woman asked in a tired, defensive voice.
“My name is Faith Yokas and I’m from the social services.”
Mrs Boscorelli pushed her lips together in a stubborn expression before answering, “If you’re here to make me press charges, you can leave. I’m not gonna change my mind.”
“Mrs Boscorelli, I’m strongly advising you to do so. It’s not gonna end here, you know.”
“You don’t understand. It’s not his fault - it’s mine.”
Faith sighed inwardly. Why did they always think that? How the hell did these monsters always manage to put the blame on someone else?
“That’s not true, Mrs Boscorelli, and you know that,” Faith said softly.
“You don’t know that,” Rose answered stubbornly. “You don’t know me. You don’t know how mean I can be. I always nag him and annoy him. Believe me, I deserve to get hit. I bring it on myself and that’s the truth - no matter what you say.”
“You’re right. I don’t know you and I’m not going to say you’re a saint. I’m sure you can be mean to him sometimes, but that doesn’t give him the right to hit you.”
Rose bit her bottom lip. “You don’t understand. He loves me and I love him.”
“No, Mrs Boscorelli, he doesn’t love you. You don’t hurt the ones you love.”
Faith could see the other woman’s eyes tear up and she knew that even if she couldn’t bring Mrs Boscorelli to press charges today, she had at least made a hole in her defence and who knew, maybe she’d be ready next time - that said, if she survived the next beating.
Faith considered for a moment to bring up how concerned her son was for her, but decided to leave it be. She didn’t really know him and he hadn’t asked for her help in person.
So instead, she just put her hand on Rose’s shoulder and said, “At least take my card - in case you change your mind.”
“I don’t need it. My son is a cop. He’ll help me if I wanna press charges.”
Faith put the card on Rose’s bedside table. “OK, but I’ll put it here anyway - just in case. Good-bye, Mrs Boscorelli.”
She walked out of the room, slipping on her coat on the way out. Proctor came around the corner just as Faith reached the nurse’s desk.
“How did it go?”
Faith sighed deeply. “Sorry, no luck - just the usual bull-shit. You know, ‘It’s my fault. I provoke him. He loves me.’ You know….”
Proctor let out a sigh as well. “I know. But thanks anyway - for trying.”
“You’re welcome. You can always give her son my card. In case he wants some support on the matter.”
Proctor nodded. “I’ll do that. Night, Faith.”
“Night,” Faith answered and hurried out through the door before someone else realized they needed her help.
*******************
Faith opened the door to her apartment. Tara - her baby sitter - looked up from the book she was reading.
“Hi, Mrs Yokas. You’re late. Hard day?”
Faith sighed. “Something like that, yeah. Look, I’m sorry I’m late. I’ll pay you extra.”
Tara stood up and shook her head. “No, it’s OK. I left early the other night so we’re even.”
“You sure?”
Tara smiled warmly. “I’m sure.”
Faith felt grateful. Money didn’t grow on trees in her household. “Did the kids give you any trouble?”
Tara shook her head again. “No, they’re both good as gold and they have done their home work.”
“That’s great. Thanks, Tara.”
“No problem. See you tomorrow.”
“Yeah, tomorrow, bye.”
“Bye.”
Tara disappeared through the door and Faith locked it behind her. Then she went into the kitchen to make herself a cup of tea and when it was ready, she brought it with her into the living-room and curled up on the couch.
It had been a long time since she had thought about him. As the years went by, the memories of him had faded - growing distant. She had come to accept that she would never see him again. She had stopped looking for him on the streets, in the shops and at the subway, but tonight she had caught herself doing it again. The meeting with the woman with the same last name as him had brought all the memories back and it felt like it happened yesterday.
She took a sip of her tea and allowed herself to get lost in the past.
The day they met had been a dark and rainy autumn night. She had been to the doctor and he had confirmed her suspicion. She was pregnant again and now she was wandering the streets of New York, desperately trying to decide what to do.
She already had one kid. Emily wasn’t planned and the pregnancy had forced Faith to drop out of school and marry Fred. It turned out to be a big mistake - not Emily, but Fred. He had turned out to be a drunk, a lazy drunk, who was without a job half the time. Lately, she had thought a lot about leaving him and the last thing she needed was another mouth to feed.
She had walked around until she was drenched and exhausted. She had nowhere to go and no one to turn to and no matter how much she thought about it, she didn’t come any closer to a decision. She couldn’t even try to forget about it by getting drunk because she didn’t want to harm the growing life inside her.
Finally, she sat down on a bench in central park and started crying. She hadn’t remembered crying that hard since she was a kid. She cried for all the mistakes she had made in the past. She cried for Emily and the unborn child that never would have a life worth living. They would never have a chance to get a better life. She cried for her own hope and dreams. Real life had crushed her and she saw no way out. No matter how she looked at it; she was down to two choices. Have an abortion, take Emily and leave Fred, hoping that she would manage to create a better life for the two of them, or keep the baby and stay with Fred. She couldn’t support two kids on her own - she just couldn’t. But she couldn’t really kill her child either…. She was trapped and it made her feel desperate.
She stood up again and started to walk aimlessly, just as she had for the last four or five hours. Suddenly, she found herself perched on moss-covered rocks, down by the water, looking out over the upset, dark surface. It was hypnotizing and she toyed with the idea of jumping. Drowning was painless, so she had heard, and if she was dead she wouldn’t have to think anymore, wouldn’t have to make any impossible decisions…. It was tempting, really tempting.
“You’re not gonna jump are you?”
The slow, soft voice startled her so bad she almost fell into the water.
She turned around and spotted a young man in uniform standing a few feet behind her. His head was shaved and his eyes glittered under the soft glow of the street-lights. A soldier. Yeah, of course - they where shipping some off tomorrow morning. She had read about in the newspaper. She looked behind him and saw a fancy car standing there. She probably interrupted his good-bye sex.
“What’s that to you? Did I interrupt something?” she asked, with an attitude she didn’t even know she had, and motioned toward the car.
He smirked. “No, that’s already over and done with. I came here to watch New York from my favourite spot and I really don’t want you to destroy this place for me by committing suicide right before my very eyes. So, be a sport and get down, will you?”
“This is your favourite spot?”
He nodded gravely.
“Why?”
He shrugged. “Don’t know - just like it here. Please just get down, OK?”
Faith nodded. The moment was gone. Reality was back and she knew she had to deal with it. She started to climb down from the stones but the rain had made them slippery and she lost her balance, landing hard on the ground.
He was by her side in an instant, crouching down and putting his hand on her shoulder. “You OK?”
“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine. The stones are slippery - that’s all.”
“OK.” He stood up again and held out his hand at her. “Come on, I’ll help you up.”
She took it and he dragged her onto her feet. The sudden movement, together with exhaustion and lack of food, made her dizzy and she swayed a little.
He quickly took hold of her shoulders to steady her. “Hey! You sure you’re OK? Maybe I should take you to the hospital.”
Faith closed her eyes, trying to compose herself.
Her lack of response made him shake her slightly. “Come on, girl! You didn’t take anything, did you? Some sleeping pills or something?”
The anxiety in his voice made her open her eyes and she found herself starring into a pair of worried and concerned blue eyes.
“No, I’m fine. It’s just…it’s been a while since I last ate something,” she assured him with a shiver. Her clothes were soaked all the way through and the cold started to get to her.
The worry in his eyes disappeared but the concern still lingered there. He gently put his arm around her shoulders. “You’re all wet and freezing. Come on, let’s go somewhere nice and warm.”
Then he guided her to the car. She followed him without resistance. She knew it was stupid - close to insanity - to follow a complete stranger like this. He could be a thief, a rapist or a madman for all she knew, but she felt safe with him. She couldn’t help it. No one had given her any attention, or showed her any concern, in such a long time and it was like she was bewitched by his kindness. When they reach the car he opened the door for her and she got in, her teeth chattering from the cold as she sat down.
He slipped off his uniform jacket, just before sliding in behind the steering wheel, and handed it to her. “Here, put this on. I know it’s wet, too, but it’ll help a bit.”
She hesitated.
“Just take it,” he said in a commanding voice that almost made her jump. She took it without another word and put it on.
He started the car and put it in gear before looking over at her. “Where do you live?”
She felt her tears well up. “No, please, I don’t wanna go home.”
“But you have a home, right?”
“Yeah, but I can’t go there right now. I just can’t”
He sighed. “Then what am I supposed to do with you?”
She dried her tears. “Just give me a minute to warm up and I’ll be out of your hair, OK?”
He didn’t answer, just started to drive. Faith bit her bottom lip and studied his face as he drove. He was very young and very handsome and she wondered why he bothered. He had nothing to gain from this.
“Look, why don’t you just drop me off in the next street corner.”
He turned to look at her. “Do you live there?”
“No, but I don’t want to bother you.”
“You’re not bothering me. I didn’t have anything better to do anyway and I can’t just leave you out here in the rain. You’re gonna freeze to death.”
“So where’re you taking me?” she dared to ask.
“Home,” he said simply, and Faith wondered why it sounded so right when he said it.
He turned another corner and then parked the car. He rested his hands on the steering wheel as he said, “OK, we’re here.”
Faith nodded slowly and followed him when he went out of the car. He unlocked the door to a small house and let her inside.
The house was very neat and felt “homey.” It smelled from herbs and garlic, indicating that whoever lived there could cook.
“Is this your place?” she asked in amazement.
He smiled slightly. “Not exactly, it my Ma’s, but I live here, too.”
She looked at him in surprise. Did he still live at home? She couldn’t help but think it was strange. He didn’t seem like a Mama’s boy to her. “You still live with your mom?”
“Yeah, so? You think there’s something wrong with that?” he asked defensively.
“No, I’m sorry. It just…you know what? It’s not important. Let’s just forget about it, OK?”
He ran his hand over his shaved head and let out a breath. “Sure. Um…why don’t you sit down?” He motioned toward the kitchen table. “I…um…I’ll be right back.”
She nodded and sat down, desperately trying to keep herself from shaking. For some reason she felt even colder inside in the warmth than she had outside in the rain.
He came back just moments later with a pair of sweat pants, a t-shirt, a sweater and a pair of socks.
He held them out to her. “Here, change into these before you catch pneumonia.”
She took the clothes from him. “Are these yours?”
He nodded. “The bathroom is down the end of the hall, to the left.”
“Thanks.”
Faith went into the small bathroom and took off her wet clothes before changing into his warm, dry ones. She studied herself in the mirror and made a face. She looked like crap. Her face was pale with dark circles around the eyes and her cheeks looked hollowed. She knew she was too thin, but all the worry and morning sickness had taken away her appetite almost completely. She sighed and ran her hands through her messy hair, trying to straighten it out. She wanted to look good for him without knowing why. It wasn’t like he cared anyway. He didn’t like her. He just took pity on her.
She opened the door and went back into the kitchen, just as he put two cups of hot chocolate on the table.
He looked up and smiled when he heard her footsteps. “You like hot chocolate, right?
“Doesn’t everybody?”
She sat down and warmed her hands on the cup.
“Drink it,” he urged softly.
She sipped her chocolate and closed her eyes as she swallowed. The warm beverage made her warm inside and it tasted heavenly.
She opened her eyes and met his gaze.
“Good?”
She nodded. “Very.”
“You want a sandwich, too? I can make you one if you want. I mean, you said you hadn’t eaten in awhile so….”
She looked down in her cup. “No, thanks. I don’t want to bother you and, besides, it’d probably just make me nauseous anyway.”
The worry from earlier returned in his eyes. “You sick?”
Her eyes filled with tears again, as she whispered, “No, I’m pregnant.”
“Oh…but then you should eat, right? I mean, kids need food, right?”
He blushed slightly and she couldn’t help but smile at his sweet attempt to try to help without fully grasping the situation.
“Probably, but it’s hard, you know.”
He gazed at her for a moment and then said very softly, “How about I make you one and then we’ll see if you can eat it?”
“OK.”
She watched him in silence as he made her the sandwich, thinking that he had to be the nicest and most good looking guy she’d ever met. When he was done he put the plate in front of her and sat down opposite from her again. She picked it up and started to eat; smiling when she realized that he had put peanut butter on. Peanut butter was one of the few things that didn’t make her nauseous these days.
He watched her while she ate and to her own surprise it didn’t make her uncomfortable, which was very odd because usually she hated when someone stared at her.
When she was done, he asked, “Feeling better?”
She nodded.
“You still cold?”
“No.”
He smiled gently and reached out across the table, putting his hand over hers. “Good. Now why don’t you tell me why you can’t go home.”
She looked down at the table top. She wanted to tell him so badly because she knew it would make her feel less lonely, but it had been a long time since she had confided in anyone and it made her feel vulnerable in a way she didn’t like.
“Look, I’m not really comfortable talking to strangers about my life and we aren’t exactly friends. I don’t even know your name.”
He smiled mischievously. “I didn’t s figure you for the formal type since you followed me home without questions, but fair enough. I’m Maurice Boscorelli. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”
He extended his hand to her.
She blushed slightly and took it. “Faith Yokas, and it’s a pleasure to meet you, too, Maurice.”
He made a face. “No one really calls me Maurice - except for Ma.”
“Then what do they call you?”
He shrugged “A lot of things. My army buddies call me Bosco.”
She titled her head. “You like that?”
He shrugged again. “It’s a hell of a lot better than Maurice.”
She smiled. “OK, Bosco it is and it’s still a pleasure to meet you.”
He smiled back. “So, now when we’re formally introduced and everything, how about you tell me why you can’t go home.”
Fresh tears sprung into her eyes and she tried to pull herself together but it didn’t work. The tears kept coming and were now finding their way down her cheeks.
“I can, but I don’t want to.”
“Why?”
She didn’t answer - just stared down at her lap.
Her silence made him speak again. His voice was hesitant and the words spoken almost reluctantly. “Is he beating you?”
She quickly looked up at him, horrified by the question. Fred was many things, but he wasn’t a wife beater.
“No, he’s a drunk and an asshole but he’d never hit me.”
He sighed in relief. “Good, good. So, basically you’re wandering the streets of New York alone in the pouring rain because your husband is an asshole?”
She nodded. “Yeah, I just don’t know what to do.”
“What do you mean?”
“This pregnancy,” she ran her hand over her belly, “wasn’t planed. I already have a daughter - Emily. I barley earn enough to provide for her and I’ll never be able to support two kids. Fred has never been able to keep a job for more than one week and most of the money he does make goes to his drinking. I was thinking of leaving him but now I don’t know if I can. I need those few bucks he brings home and I don’t want to abort this child. Oh, Bosco, I just don’t know what to do.”
And with that she broke down completely. She put her head in her hands and started to sob hysterically, her whole body shaking. I wasn’t long before she felt him kneel down in front of her. He put his hands on her wrists and tried to pry her hands away from her face, but she didn’t let him. It was bad enough that she couldn’t stop herself from crying. She wasn’t about to let him watch her fall apart, too. When Bosco realized that she wasn’t going to give in, he put his arms around her instead and pulled her into his embrace.
“Shh, it’s OK. It’s all right.”
Faith knew she should pull away. It was wrong to let another man comfort her like this but she couldn’t force herself to do it. She felt so safe and comfortable in his arms. It was like she belonged there. His comforting words and warm embrace soon made her calm down, her sobs evened out and the crying eventually came to an end.
When he realized that she had stopped crying he pulled away slightly and lifted her chin so he could look at her. Then he carefully dried her tears with his shirtsleeve and said, “It’s gonna be OK, Faith. I promise. We’ll figure something out.”
She slipped out of his embrace and sat back on the chair. “How is it gonna be OK?”
He smiled. “I don’t know, but we’ll figure something out. I promise.”
She swallowed hard to keep herself from crying as she whispered, “There’s just one problem - there is no ‘we.’ I’m married and you’re gonna be on the other side of the world tomorrow.”
She knew she sounded harsh. She appreciated his kindness - she really did - but she knew she needed to be rational. It didn’t matter how comfortable she felt with him. She was married and he was a soldier and they would probably never meet again after tonight.
He looked at her, his eyes dead serious. “There’s always gonna be a ‘we,’ and we’ll figure something out. We have all night.”
“Why are you doing this?” she whispered in awe.
“Because I think you’re special.”
“But w -”
He put his index finger to her lips. “Shh, we’re supposed to find a solution, remember?”
She couldn’t help but smile. He was irresistible.
“That’s better. A beautiful girl like you should never have to cry.”
She didn’t answer because she didn’t know what to say. No one had called her beautiful before - not even Fred - and she felt herself blush.
“So, go on then - find a solution,” she said shortly, trying to hide her embarrassment.
“I will, but before we say or do anything else there’s something I want you to always remember. You’re a great woman and you can do anything you like because you’re special, OK?”
“OK,” she said softly.
She was touched by his words. No one had ever called her special before either.
He smiled his irresistible smile again. “Good, now when that’s settled, let’s look at your options.”
They talked for over an hour and Bosco came up with at least four different solutions to her problem, some of them were less realistic than others but it didn’t really matter. Just the fact that he could see a solution at all made her feel less desperate.
He had never gotten up from the kitchen floor where he had kneeled down when she started to cry and eventually she ended up there as well. They were now sitting beside each other, leaning against the cupboards. Eventually the conversation ended and there was silence, but it was a comfortable silence and it made Faith feel almost as safe as she had in his arms.
He rolled his head to the side to look at her. “Feeling any better?”
She nodded and smiled. “A lot better.”
He reached out and caressed her cheek with the back of his hand. “Good.”
Faith swallowed hard and reached out as well, carefully running her fingers along his jaw line. She was well aware of that they where about to cross a line that shouldn’t be crossed, but she didn’t care anymore.
She knew all too well that you could never bring a moment back and she needed this moment if she was going to be able to live through the days to come. Looking her in the eyes the whole time - as if to ask for permission - he reached out his other hand and tangled it in here hair, then leaned in and kissed her. Faith closed her eyes and kissed him back. After a few moments he broke the kiss and looked at her. Faith saw a tenderness in his eyes that she somehow knew he didn’t show just to anyone and, to her surprise, she felt her own desire scream like a starving child within her soul. Obviously that was all the encouragement he needed because he pulled her closer and kissed her again - a lot more passionately this time.
When they breathlessly pulled away again, he brushed her hair out of her eyes. Then he stood up and swept her off the floor in one movement and for the third time in a few hours she found herself in his embrace. She rested her head against his shoulder and smiled happily. He carried her down the hall and into a room she assumed was his, and carefully - without switching on the light - put her down on the bed and started to undress her. He was so gentle that Faith almost thought it was a dream and she smiled happily once more.
But suddenly he stopped and whispered, “Are you sure we can do this?”
“No, we can’t, but I don’t care about Fred right now. I want to be happy for once.”
“I don’t give a damn about Fred. I was just thinking about the baby. Can we really do this when you’re pregnant? I don’t want to hurt the baby.”
She caressed his face affectionately, loving him even more for caring so much.
“It’s OK. We won’t hurt him. I promise.”
He nodded slowly and leaned in and kissed her in a way she had never been kissed before and then he took her straight to heaven.
*********
“Do you believe in soul mates?”
Faith titled her head upwards to be able to look at him from where she lay in his arms, her head on his collarbone.
“I don’t know. Do you?”
He smiled sweetly. “I do now.”
“How come?”
“Because of this - you and me. The connection we feel, although we have just known each other for a couple of hours.” He looked anxiously at her. “You feel it, too, right?”
She put her hand on his cheek and said quietly, “Yeah, I do.”
He grinned happily at her and tightened his hold. “See? What other explanation could there be?”
Faith’s heart aced for him. He was so young and innocent - despite what he’d been through. Not that she really knew what he had been through, but something about the way he had made love to her had told her he wasn’t used to get loved back, plus that there was something in his eyes from time to time, something that looked very much like loneliness and despair. And still he believed in the goodness of the world, like an innocent child. But life was going to beat that innocence out of him that she knew from experience and she wished there was a way to stop that from happening. She closed her eyes hard trying to will away her tears. She didn’t want to ruin his happiness with fear and doubts. She didn’t want to be the one who made him face the ugliness of the world. She wanted him to be happy.
Still, she couldn’t stop herself from asking, “But aren’t soul mates supposed to be together?”
He turned around to face her and gently ran his fingers along her cheek. “Yes, they are.”
“And how’s that supposed to happen? I’m married and this time tomorrow, you’re gonna be overseas fighting some awful war.”
He looked fondly at her and stroked her hair with a soft hand. “You and I will be together eventually, Faith. Just not right here and right now, but sooner or later we’re gonna be together. I promise.”
“You really think so?”
“I know so,” he said with so much resolve she couldn’t help but believe him.
*********
They sat in his car outside her apartment building. In an hour, he had to report for duty and Faith felt dread rise inside. What if he got killed over there? What if she never got to see him again? She played with the cross around her neck, silently begging God to keep him safe.
Bosco’s soft voice brought her back to reality. “Are you gonna be OK up there?”
She smiled and nodded firmly. “Yeah, I’m gonna be fine. It’s nothing to worry about. I promise.”
“Good.” He smiled and the love in his eyes made her sure of what to do.
She took off her cross and held it out to him. “Here, take this. Hopefully it will protect you.”
He looked puzzled. “Why would I need protection?”
She had to smile at his innocence. “You’re heading out to a war, Bos.”
He titled his head to the side and said with an adorable look of love and affection on his face, “Nothing’s gonna happen to me. You really need to have some faith. You know, living up to your namesake.”
Faith smiled weakly. “Maybe, but I really want to be with you eventually. Can’t you just take it? Hopefully it will increase the chances for that to happen.”
Bosco gazed affectionately at her. “You and I are gonna be together, Faith. Somewhere, somehow, even if it isn’t in this life.”
Faith felt her eyes get hot from the tears she tried to hold back. “I’d prefer if it’d be in this life,” she whispered.
“OK,” he nodded softly and took the necklace, putting it on instantly.
Faith reached out and touched his cheek. “Bye, Bos.”
He shook his head. “No, not good-bye. See you around.”
She took a shuddered breath.
“And no crying, OK? We will meet again. I promise.”
She quickly dried at her tears. “OK, stay safe.”
He smiled reassuringly. “Always.”
He kissed her softly once more and then he pulled away and caressed her cheek as he said, “I love you, Faith. Never forget that, OK?”
“OK.”
They gazed at each other for the longest moment before she pulled the door open and got out of the car.
“See you around, Bosco.”
He nodded and smiled before driving away.
She never saw him again and she never told him she loved him either, and if she regretted anything from that night; it was that. It pained her to know that he could have died without knowing that she loved him just as much as he loved her.
But at the time she couldn’t deal with the consequences of what loving another man meant. She needed to focus on surviving and as long as she didn’t say it out loud, she could pretend it never happened.
It bothered her that she didn’t know if he made it back alive. She had checked the obituary notices in every paper she could get hold of at the time - actually she still did - but she never saw his name, and that held the hope that one day she’d meet him again in this life. Ever since the divorce came through three years ago, she had been thinking of him more often, knowing that they now really could be together. That being if he hadn’t found someone else. She didn’t want to think about that option. She didn’t want to believe that he had moved on and found someone else, but it was hard not to. Eleven years was a very long time.
She sighed, stood up and walked into the kids’ room to check on them. They were both fast asleep. Faith looked at Charlie and smiled. It was thanks to Bosco Charlie were here - that he’d been born, and sometimes Faith pretended that he was Bosco’s son. She knew better, though. Charlie was already growing inside her when she met Bosco and there was no way he could be Bosco’s. Still, sometimes, she thought that that night had made some kind of imprint on Charlie, because that night had been the happiest in her life and Charlie was an unusually happy child.
Faith smiled softly and closed the door. Then she went out into the bathroom to get ready for bed. It was time to put the memories of Maurice Boscorelli back in a corner of her heart and go back to reality, because tomorrow was another day and who knew what that would bring.
TBC….
TITLE: Once as my heart remembers.
AUTHOR: faith-in-Faith
DISCLAIMER: I still don’t own any of this….
PARING: Bosco and Faith
RATING: PG -13
SUMMARY: Some moments and people are forever burned in your mind, others in your heart….
SPOILERS: Since this is an alternative universe story, I guess none. But it’s based on the eppie “true love”
AUTHOR’S NOTE: OK, so this is my first AU story. It’s inspired by a beautiful song from Enya called “Once as my heart remembers” I have never done this before, so just bare with me, OK? It’s one more chapter but it might be a while before I can put up part two, but it will be up. I promise. :) Please read and review!
Type your cut contents here.ONCE AS MY HEART REMEMBERS.
Faith Yokas slipped on her coat and searched through her purse for her hat and gloves. Another long day had come to an end and she was happy she didn’t have to witness anymore of the horrible things the people of New York City did to each other - at least not today. She headed through the hall and nodded at a couple of familiar faces. She had almost reached the sliding doors when someone called her name.
She turned around and looked questioningly at Nurse Proctor.
“Yes, Mary?”
Mary Proctor went around the nurses’ desk and walked toward her. Faith started walking as well and they met half way between the desk and entrance.
“Were you on your way home?”
Faith nodded. “Yes, is there something I can do for you?”
Proctor hesitated. “I wanted to ask you a favour but I shouldn’t bother you. You’re on your way home and….”
“Mary,” Faith said softly. “What is it?”
Mary sighed. “It’s this woman in exam four. Her boyfriend has beaten her pretty bad and --”
“Let me guess, she doesn’t want to press charges?”
Proctor nodded tiredly. “Exactly! And usually I wouldn’t care. We both know we can’t convince them unless they’re ready, but she’s the mother to one of the cops. He’s very upset about it and I think he would feel better if she would at least charge the bastard. So, I thought you could try to convince her. You’re good with these kinds of women.”
Faith nodded in agreement. As a social worker, she handled all kinds of cases, but the one involving abused women had always held a special place in her heart and she was usually good at getting through to them.
Both Mary and Faith knew that this wasn’t Faith’s district, but she sometimes covered for the woman whose district it was and since it was one of those days, and she liked Mary, she figured she could do it.
“Sure, I can try, but I’m not promising you anything.”
Proctor gave her a relieved smile. “That’s all I’m asking for. Thank you, Faith. I owe you one.”
Faith smiled faintly in return. “Has she been here before? For the same reason, I mean?”
Proctor nodded. “Yes, she has, but it was several years ago. I don’t think it was the same guy.”
“OK, what’s her name?”
“Rose Boscorelli - exam four.”
“OK.”
Faith took off her coat again and hung it over her arm before stepping into exam four. She felt slightly nervous because the name Boscorelli had stirred a memory in her. A memory of a night she couldn’t forget - a night she didn’t want to forget.
Faith entered the room and looked at the woman inside. She was in her early fifties, blond hair, blue eyes, one encircled by an angry black bruise along with some other cuts and bruises. Nothing about her seemed familiar and Faith felt relieved.
“Who are you and what do you want?” the woman asked in a tired, defensive voice.
“My name is Faith Yokas and I’m from the social services.”
Mrs Boscorelli pushed her lips together in a stubborn expression before answering, “If you’re here to make me press charges, you can leave. I’m not gonna change my mind.”
“Mrs Boscorelli, I’m strongly advising you to do so. It’s not gonna end here, you know.”
“You don’t understand. It’s not his fault - it’s mine.”
Faith sighed inwardly. Why did they always think that? How the hell did these monsters always manage to put the blame on someone else?
“That’s not true, Mrs Boscorelli, and you know that,” Faith said softly.
“You don’t know that,” Rose answered stubbornly. “You don’t know me. You don’t know how mean I can be. I always nag him and annoy him. Believe me, I deserve to get hit. I bring it on myself and that’s the truth - no matter what you say.”
“You’re right. I don’t know you and I’m not going to say you’re a saint. I’m sure you can be mean to him sometimes, but that doesn’t give him the right to hit you.”
Rose bit her bottom lip. “You don’t understand. He loves me and I love him.”
“No, Mrs Boscorelli, he doesn’t love you. You don’t hurt the ones you love.”
Faith could see the other woman’s eyes tear up and she knew that even if she couldn’t bring Mrs Boscorelli to press charges today, she had at least made a hole in her defence and who knew, maybe she’d be ready next time - that said, if she survived the next beating.
Faith considered for a moment to bring up how concerned her son was for her, but decided to leave it be. She didn’t really know him and he hadn’t asked for her help in person.
So instead, she just put her hand on Rose’s shoulder and said, “At least take my card - in case you change your mind.”
“I don’t need it. My son is a cop. He’ll help me if I wanna press charges.”
Faith put the card on Rose’s bedside table. “OK, but I’ll put it here anyway - just in case. Good-bye, Mrs Boscorelli.”
She walked out of the room, slipping on her coat on the way out. Proctor came around the corner just as Faith reached the nurse’s desk.
“How did it go?”
Faith sighed deeply. “Sorry, no luck - just the usual bull-shit. You know, ‘It’s my fault. I provoke him. He loves me.’ You know….”
Proctor let out a sigh as well. “I know. But thanks anyway - for trying.”
“You’re welcome. You can always give her son my card. In case he wants some support on the matter.”
Proctor nodded. “I’ll do that. Night, Faith.”
“Night,” Faith answered and hurried out through the door before someone else realized they needed her help.
*******************
Faith opened the door to her apartment. Tara - her baby sitter - looked up from the book she was reading.
“Hi, Mrs Yokas. You’re late. Hard day?”
Faith sighed. “Something like that, yeah. Look, I’m sorry I’m late. I’ll pay you extra.”
Tara stood up and shook her head. “No, it’s OK. I left early the other night so we’re even.”
“You sure?”
Tara smiled warmly. “I’m sure.”
Faith felt grateful. Money didn’t grow on trees in her household. “Did the kids give you any trouble?”
Tara shook her head again. “No, they’re both good as gold and they have done their home work.”
“That’s great. Thanks, Tara.”
“No problem. See you tomorrow.”
“Yeah, tomorrow, bye.”
“Bye.”
Tara disappeared through the door and Faith locked it behind her. Then she went into the kitchen to make herself a cup of tea and when it was ready, she brought it with her into the living-room and curled up on the couch.
It had been a long time since she had thought about him. As the years went by, the memories of him had faded - growing distant. She had come to accept that she would never see him again. She had stopped looking for him on the streets, in the shops and at the subway, but tonight she had caught herself doing it again. The meeting with the woman with the same last name as him had brought all the memories back and it felt like it happened yesterday.
She took a sip of her tea and allowed herself to get lost in the past.
The day they met had been a dark and rainy autumn night. She had been to the doctor and he had confirmed her suspicion. She was pregnant again and now she was wandering the streets of New York, desperately trying to decide what to do.
She already had one kid. Emily wasn’t planned and the pregnancy had forced Faith to drop out of school and marry Fred. It turned out to be a big mistake - not Emily, but Fred. He had turned out to be a drunk, a lazy drunk, who was without a job half the time. Lately, she had thought a lot about leaving him and the last thing she needed was another mouth to feed.
She had walked around until she was drenched and exhausted. She had nowhere to go and no one to turn to and no matter how much she thought about it, she didn’t come any closer to a decision. She couldn’t even try to forget about it by getting drunk because she didn’t want to harm the growing life inside her.
Finally, she sat down on a bench in central park and started crying. She hadn’t remembered crying that hard since she was a kid. She cried for all the mistakes she had made in the past. She cried for Emily and the unborn child that never would have a life worth living. They would never have a chance to get a better life. She cried for her own hope and dreams. Real life had crushed her and she saw no way out. No matter how she looked at it; she was down to two choices. Have an abortion, take Emily and leave Fred, hoping that she would manage to create a better life for the two of them, or keep the baby and stay with Fred. She couldn’t support two kids on her own - she just couldn’t. But she couldn’t really kill her child either…. She was trapped and it made her feel desperate.
She stood up again and started to walk aimlessly, just as she had for the last four or five hours. Suddenly, she found herself perched on moss-covered rocks, down by the water, looking out over the upset, dark surface. It was hypnotizing and she toyed with the idea of jumping. Drowning was painless, so she had heard, and if she was dead she wouldn’t have to think anymore, wouldn’t have to make any impossible decisions…. It was tempting, really tempting.
“You’re not gonna jump are you?”
The slow, soft voice startled her so bad she almost fell into the water.
She turned around and spotted a young man in uniform standing a few feet behind her. His head was shaved and his eyes glittered under the soft glow of the street-lights. A soldier. Yeah, of course - they where shipping some off tomorrow morning. She had read about in the newspaper. She looked behind him and saw a fancy car standing there. She probably interrupted his good-bye sex.
“What’s that to you? Did I interrupt something?” she asked, with an attitude she didn’t even know she had, and motioned toward the car.
He smirked. “No, that’s already over and done with. I came here to watch New York from my favourite spot and I really don’t want you to destroy this place for me by committing suicide right before my very eyes. So, be a sport and get down, will you?”
“This is your favourite spot?”
He nodded gravely.
“Why?”
He shrugged. “Don’t know - just like it here. Please just get down, OK?”
Faith nodded. The moment was gone. Reality was back and she knew she had to deal with it. She started to climb down from the stones but the rain had made them slippery and she lost her balance, landing hard on the ground.
He was by her side in an instant, crouching down and putting his hand on her shoulder. “You OK?”
“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine. The stones are slippery - that’s all.”
“OK.” He stood up again and held out his hand at her. “Come on, I’ll help you up.”
She took it and he dragged her onto her feet. The sudden movement, together with exhaustion and lack of food, made her dizzy and she swayed a little.
He quickly took hold of her shoulders to steady her. “Hey! You sure you’re OK? Maybe I should take you to the hospital.”
Faith closed her eyes, trying to compose herself.
Her lack of response made him shake her slightly. “Come on, girl! You didn’t take anything, did you? Some sleeping pills or something?”
The anxiety in his voice made her open her eyes and she found herself starring into a pair of worried and concerned blue eyes.
“No, I’m fine. It’s just…it’s been a while since I last ate something,” she assured him with a shiver. Her clothes were soaked all the way through and the cold started to get to her.
The worry in his eyes disappeared but the concern still lingered there. He gently put his arm around her shoulders. “You’re all wet and freezing. Come on, let’s go somewhere nice and warm.”
Then he guided her to the car. She followed him without resistance. She knew it was stupid - close to insanity - to follow a complete stranger like this. He could be a thief, a rapist or a madman for all she knew, but she felt safe with him. She couldn’t help it. No one had given her any attention, or showed her any concern, in such a long time and it was like she was bewitched by his kindness. When they reach the car he opened the door for her and she got in, her teeth chattering from the cold as she sat down.
He slipped off his uniform jacket, just before sliding in behind the steering wheel, and handed it to her. “Here, put this on. I know it’s wet, too, but it’ll help a bit.”
She hesitated.
“Just take it,” he said in a commanding voice that almost made her jump. She took it without another word and put it on.
He started the car and put it in gear before looking over at her. “Where do you live?”
She felt her tears well up. “No, please, I don’t wanna go home.”
“But you have a home, right?”
“Yeah, but I can’t go there right now. I just can’t”
He sighed. “Then what am I supposed to do with you?”
She dried her tears. “Just give me a minute to warm up and I’ll be out of your hair, OK?”
He didn’t answer, just started to drive. Faith bit her bottom lip and studied his face as he drove. He was very young and very handsome and she wondered why he bothered. He had nothing to gain from this.
“Look, why don’t you just drop me off in the next street corner.”
He turned to look at her. “Do you live there?”
“No, but I don’t want to bother you.”
“You’re not bothering me. I didn’t have anything better to do anyway and I can’t just leave you out here in the rain. You’re gonna freeze to death.”
“So where’re you taking me?” she dared to ask.
“Home,” he said simply, and Faith wondered why it sounded so right when he said it.
He turned another corner and then parked the car. He rested his hands on the steering wheel as he said, “OK, we’re here.”
Faith nodded slowly and followed him when he went out of the car. He unlocked the door to a small house and let her inside.
The house was very neat and felt “homey.” It smelled from herbs and garlic, indicating that whoever lived there could cook.
“Is this your place?” she asked in amazement.
He smiled slightly. “Not exactly, it my Ma’s, but I live here, too.”
She looked at him in surprise. Did he still live at home? She couldn’t help but think it was strange. He didn’t seem like a Mama’s boy to her. “You still live with your mom?”
“Yeah, so? You think there’s something wrong with that?” he asked defensively.
“No, I’m sorry. It just…you know what? It’s not important. Let’s just forget about it, OK?”
He ran his hand over his shaved head and let out a breath. “Sure. Um…why don’t you sit down?” He motioned toward the kitchen table. “I…um…I’ll be right back.”
She nodded and sat down, desperately trying to keep herself from shaking. For some reason she felt even colder inside in the warmth than she had outside in the rain.
He came back just moments later with a pair of sweat pants, a t-shirt, a sweater and a pair of socks.
He held them out to her. “Here, change into these before you catch pneumonia.”
She took the clothes from him. “Are these yours?”
He nodded. “The bathroom is down the end of the hall, to the left.”
“Thanks.”
Faith went into the small bathroom and took off her wet clothes before changing into his warm, dry ones. She studied herself in the mirror and made a face. She looked like crap. Her face was pale with dark circles around the eyes and her cheeks looked hollowed. She knew she was too thin, but all the worry and morning sickness had taken away her appetite almost completely. She sighed and ran her hands through her messy hair, trying to straighten it out. She wanted to look good for him without knowing why. It wasn’t like he cared anyway. He didn’t like her. He just took pity on her.
She opened the door and went back into the kitchen, just as he put two cups of hot chocolate on the table.
He looked up and smiled when he heard her footsteps. “You like hot chocolate, right?
“Doesn’t everybody?”
She sat down and warmed her hands on the cup.
“Drink it,” he urged softly.
She sipped her chocolate and closed her eyes as she swallowed. The warm beverage made her warm inside and it tasted heavenly.
She opened her eyes and met his gaze.
“Good?”
She nodded. “Very.”
“You want a sandwich, too? I can make you one if you want. I mean, you said you hadn’t eaten in awhile so….”
She looked down in her cup. “No, thanks. I don’t want to bother you and, besides, it’d probably just make me nauseous anyway.”
The worry from earlier returned in his eyes. “You sick?”
Her eyes filled with tears again, as she whispered, “No, I’m pregnant.”
“Oh…but then you should eat, right? I mean, kids need food, right?”
He blushed slightly and she couldn’t help but smile at his sweet attempt to try to help without fully grasping the situation.
“Probably, but it’s hard, you know.”
He gazed at her for a moment and then said very softly, “How about I make you one and then we’ll see if you can eat it?”
“OK.”
She watched him in silence as he made her the sandwich, thinking that he had to be the nicest and most good looking guy she’d ever met. When he was done he put the plate in front of her and sat down opposite from her again. She picked it up and started to eat; smiling when she realized that he had put peanut butter on. Peanut butter was one of the few things that didn’t make her nauseous these days.
He watched her while she ate and to her own surprise it didn’t make her uncomfortable, which was very odd because usually she hated when someone stared at her.
When she was done, he asked, “Feeling better?”
She nodded.
“You still cold?”
“No.”
He smiled gently and reached out across the table, putting his hand over hers. “Good. Now why don’t you tell me why you can’t go home.”
She looked down at the table top. She wanted to tell him so badly because she knew it would make her feel less lonely, but it had been a long time since she had confided in anyone and it made her feel vulnerable in a way she didn’t like.
“Look, I’m not really comfortable talking to strangers about my life and we aren’t exactly friends. I don’t even know your name.”
He smiled mischievously. “I didn’t s figure you for the formal type since you followed me home without questions, but fair enough. I’m Maurice Boscorelli. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”
He extended his hand to her.
She blushed slightly and took it. “Faith Yokas, and it’s a pleasure to meet you, too, Maurice.”
He made a face. “No one really calls me Maurice - except for Ma.”
“Then what do they call you?”
He shrugged “A lot of things. My army buddies call me Bosco.”
She titled her head. “You like that?”
He shrugged again. “It’s a hell of a lot better than Maurice.”
She smiled. “OK, Bosco it is and it’s still a pleasure to meet you.”
He smiled back. “So, now when we’re formally introduced and everything, how about you tell me why you can’t go home.”
Fresh tears sprung into her eyes and she tried to pull herself together but it didn’t work. The tears kept coming and were now finding their way down her cheeks.
“I can, but I don’t want to.”
“Why?”
She didn’t answer - just stared down at her lap.
Her silence made him speak again. His voice was hesitant and the words spoken almost reluctantly. “Is he beating you?”
She quickly looked up at him, horrified by the question. Fred was many things, but he wasn’t a wife beater.
“No, he’s a drunk and an asshole but he’d never hit me.”
He sighed in relief. “Good, good. So, basically you’re wandering the streets of New York alone in the pouring rain because your husband is an asshole?”
She nodded. “Yeah, I just don’t know what to do.”
“What do you mean?”
“This pregnancy,” she ran her hand over her belly, “wasn’t planed. I already have a daughter - Emily. I barley earn enough to provide for her and I’ll never be able to support two kids. Fred has never been able to keep a job for more than one week and most of the money he does make goes to his drinking. I was thinking of leaving him but now I don’t know if I can. I need those few bucks he brings home and I don’t want to abort this child. Oh, Bosco, I just don’t know what to do.”
And with that she broke down completely. She put her head in her hands and started to sob hysterically, her whole body shaking. I wasn’t long before she felt him kneel down in front of her. He put his hands on her wrists and tried to pry her hands away from her face, but she didn’t let him. It was bad enough that she couldn’t stop herself from crying. She wasn’t about to let him watch her fall apart, too. When Bosco realized that she wasn’t going to give in, he put his arms around her instead and pulled her into his embrace.
“Shh, it’s OK. It’s all right.”
Faith knew she should pull away. It was wrong to let another man comfort her like this but she couldn’t force herself to do it. She felt so safe and comfortable in his arms. It was like she belonged there. His comforting words and warm embrace soon made her calm down, her sobs evened out and the crying eventually came to an end.
When he realized that she had stopped crying he pulled away slightly and lifted her chin so he could look at her. Then he carefully dried her tears with his shirtsleeve and said, “It’s gonna be OK, Faith. I promise. We’ll figure something out.”
She slipped out of his embrace and sat back on the chair. “How is it gonna be OK?”
He smiled. “I don’t know, but we’ll figure something out. I promise.”
She swallowed hard to keep herself from crying as she whispered, “There’s just one problem - there is no ‘we.’ I’m married and you’re gonna be on the other side of the world tomorrow.”
She knew she sounded harsh. She appreciated his kindness - she really did - but she knew she needed to be rational. It didn’t matter how comfortable she felt with him. She was married and he was a soldier and they would probably never meet again after tonight.
He looked at her, his eyes dead serious. “There’s always gonna be a ‘we,’ and we’ll figure something out. We have all night.”
“Why are you doing this?” she whispered in awe.
“Because I think you’re special.”
“But w -”
He put his index finger to her lips. “Shh, we’re supposed to find a solution, remember?”
She couldn’t help but smile. He was irresistible.
“That’s better. A beautiful girl like you should never have to cry.”
She didn’t answer because she didn’t know what to say. No one had called her beautiful before - not even Fred - and she felt herself blush.
“So, go on then - find a solution,” she said shortly, trying to hide her embarrassment.
“I will, but before we say or do anything else there’s something I want you to always remember. You’re a great woman and you can do anything you like because you’re special, OK?”
“OK,” she said softly.
She was touched by his words. No one had ever called her special before either.
He smiled his irresistible smile again. “Good, now when that’s settled, let’s look at your options.”
They talked for over an hour and Bosco came up with at least four different solutions to her problem, some of them were less realistic than others but it didn’t really matter. Just the fact that he could see a solution at all made her feel less desperate.
He had never gotten up from the kitchen floor where he had kneeled down when she started to cry and eventually she ended up there as well. They were now sitting beside each other, leaning against the cupboards. Eventually the conversation ended and there was silence, but it was a comfortable silence and it made Faith feel almost as safe as she had in his arms.
He rolled his head to the side to look at her. “Feeling any better?”
She nodded and smiled. “A lot better.”
He reached out and caressed her cheek with the back of his hand. “Good.”
Faith swallowed hard and reached out as well, carefully running her fingers along his jaw line. She was well aware of that they where about to cross a line that shouldn’t be crossed, but she didn’t care anymore.
She knew all too well that you could never bring a moment back and she needed this moment if she was going to be able to live through the days to come. Looking her in the eyes the whole time - as if to ask for permission - he reached out his other hand and tangled it in here hair, then leaned in and kissed her. Faith closed her eyes and kissed him back. After a few moments he broke the kiss and looked at her. Faith saw a tenderness in his eyes that she somehow knew he didn’t show just to anyone and, to her surprise, she felt her own desire scream like a starving child within her soul. Obviously that was all the encouragement he needed because he pulled her closer and kissed her again - a lot more passionately this time.
When they breathlessly pulled away again, he brushed her hair out of her eyes. Then he stood up and swept her off the floor in one movement and for the third time in a few hours she found herself in his embrace. She rested her head against his shoulder and smiled happily. He carried her down the hall and into a room she assumed was his, and carefully - without switching on the light - put her down on the bed and started to undress her. He was so gentle that Faith almost thought it was a dream and she smiled happily once more.
But suddenly he stopped and whispered, “Are you sure we can do this?”
“No, we can’t, but I don’t care about Fred right now. I want to be happy for once.”
“I don’t give a damn about Fred. I was just thinking about the baby. Can we really do this when you’re pregnant? I don’t want to hurt the baby.”
She caressed his face affectionately, loving him even more for caring so much.
“It’s OK. We won’t hurt him. I promise.”
He nodded slowly and leaned in and kissed her in a way she had never been kissed before and then he took her straight to heaven.
*********
“Do you believe in soul mates?”
Faith titled her head upwards to be able to look at him from where she lay in his arms, her head on his collarbone.
“I don’t know. Do you?”
He smiled sweetly. “I do now.”
“How come?”
“Because of this - you and me. The connection we feel, although we have just known each other for a couple of hours.” He looked anxiously at her. “You feel it, too, right?”
She put her hand on his cheek and said quietly, “Yeah, I do.”
He grinned happily at her and tightened his hold. “See? What other explanation could there be?”
Faith’s heart aced for him. He was so young and innocent - despite what he’d been through. Not that she really knew what he had been through, but something about the way he had made love to her had told her he wasn’t used to get loved back, plus that there was something in his eyes from time to time, something that looked very much like loneliness and despair. And still he believed in the goodness of the world, like an innocent child. But life was going to beat that innocence out of him that she knew from experience and she wished there was a way to stop that from happening. She closed her eyes hard trying to will away her tears. She didn’t want to ruin his happiness with fear and doubts. She didn’t want to be the one who made him face the ugliness of the world. She wanted him to be happy.
Still, she couldn’t stop herself from asking, “But aren’t soul mates supposed to be together?”
He turned around to face her and gently ran his fingers along her cheek. “Yes, they are.”
“And how’s that supposed to happen? I’m married and this time tomorrow, you’re gonna be overseas fighting some awful war.”
He looked fondly at her and stroked her hair with a soft hand. “You and I will be together eventually, Faith. Just not right here and right now, but sooner or later we’re gonna be together. I promise.”
“You really think so?”
“I know so,” he said with so much resolve she couldn’t help but believe him.
*********
They sat in his car outside her apartment building. In an hour, he had to report for duty and Faith felt dread rise inside. What if he got killed over there? What if she never got to see him again? She played with the cross around her neck, silently begging God to keep him safe.
Bosco’s soft voice brought her back to reality. “Are you gonna be OK up there?”
She smiled and nodded firmly. “Yeah, I’m gonna be fine. It’s nothing to worry about. I promise.”
“Good.” He smiled and the love in his eyes made her sure of what to do.
She took off her cross and held it out to him. “Here, take this. Hopefully it will protect you.”
He looked puzzled. “Why would I need protection?”
She had to smile at his innocence. “You’re heading out to a war, Bos.”
He titled his head to the side and said with an adorable look of love and affection on his face, “Nothing’s gonna happen to me. You really need to have some faith. You know, living up to your namesake.”
Faith smiled weakly. “Maybe, but I really want to be with you eventually. Can’t you just take it? Hopefully it will increase the chances for that to happen.”
Bosco gazed affectionately at her. “You and I are gonna be together, Faith. Somewhere, somehow, even if it isn’t in this life.”
Faith felt her eyes get hot from the tears she tried to hold back. “I’d prefer if it’d be in this life,” she whispered.
“OK,” he nodded softly and took the necklace, putting it on instantly.
Faith reached out and touched his cheek. “Bye, Bos.”
He shook his head. “No, not good-bye. See you around.”
She took a shuddered breath.
“And no crying, OK? We will meet again. I promise.”
She quickly dried at her tears. “OK, stay safe.”
He smiled reassuringly. “Always.”
He kissed her softly once more and then he pulled away and caressed her cheek as he said, “I love you, Faith. Never forget that, OK?”
“OK.”
They gazed at each other for the longest moment before she pulled the door open and got out of the car.
“See you around, Bosco.”
He nodded and smiled before driving away.
She never saw him again and she never told him she loved him either, and if she regretted anything from that night; it was that. It pained her to know that he could have died without knowing that she loved him just as much as he loved her.
But at the time she couldn’t deal with the consequences of what loving another man meant. She needed to focus on surviving and as long as she didn’t say it out loud, she could pretend it never happened.
It bothered her that she didn’t know if he made it back alive. She had checked the obituary notices in every paper she could get hold of at the time - actually she still did - but she never saw his name, and that held the hope that one day she’d meet him again in this life. Ever since the divorce came through three years ago, she had been thinking of him more often, knowing that they now really could be together. That being if he hadn’t found someone else. She didn’t want to think about that option. She didn’t want to believe that he had moved on and found someone else, but it was hard not to. Eleven years was a very long time.
She sighed, stood up and walked into the kids’ room to check on them. They were both fast asleep. Faith looked at Charlie and smiled. It was thanks to Bosco Charlie were here - that he’d been born, and sometimes Faith pretended that he was Bosco’s son. She knew better, though. Charlie was already growing inside her when she met Bosco and there was no way he could be Bosco’s. Still, sometimes, she thought that that night had made some kind of imprint on Charlie, because that night had been the happiest in her life and Charlie was an unusually happy child.
Faith smiled softly and closed the door. Then she went out into the bathroom to get ready for bed. It was time to put the memories of Maurice Boscorelli back in a corner of her heart and go back to reality, because tomorrow was another day and who knew what that would bring.
TBC….