I'm terribly shy, and have never met new people on my own before. Every person I meet has been due to a friend, family member, or interactive social event. It can be quite lonely sometimes.
I'm in my third year of high school. When I was a freshman, my eyes were drawn to this certain fellow (two years older than myself). I was an anonymous peer, but in our school of 500 he stood out; he stood out exceptionally to me. His striking jawline, his maturity above the masses, his hobbies, his skills, his intellect.... it all intrigued me. And if the word suits you, the aura, or energy perhaps, that he possessed did just that - possessed me.
I have been trying to think of the words to describe this connection since I first knew it was happening. Alas, I have not been able to. In the hallways, it is as if I have a sixth sense, I always seem to know when he is around. My eyes scan for him, and follow him until he's out of sight. A year and a half ago, maybe, I used the cowardice way to meet; I sent him a facebook message. I hardly knew at all what to say, or what I was feeling. I briefly explained that I had noticed him around, and have had a sense of strong intrigue towards him.
We've spent time outside of school three or four times. The first day I was nearly petrified.. I think I saw maybe five words the entire time. The next was slightly better, I managed to get out more than one word at a time. I'm at the place where I can speak sentences to him now. He doesn't seem to mind one bit. We do have the most satisfying of conversations online however..
My problem is time. Time is conceptual, yes. But generally it does move too fast. And for me, too slow. It has taken me two and a half years to get to the point of fascination to sentences.. And that is far too slow. How strongly I want to get to know him, open myself up to him. But how fast time goes. He's graduating in several months, and moving away. He is leaving the valley and not soon returning. We will continue to speak online, and we have decided to write letters. For now that shall be enough.
I have already surprised myself in many ways with my journey with this boy. I know I can do it again. I will use the next several months to my advantage. I will become a new person, and I will embrace the remaining time. It is not a deadline, but an opportunity.
Besides, I think I might be falling in love. But really, what do I know of love at the age of 16?
I'm in my third year of high school. When I was a freshman, my eyes were drawn to this certain fellow (two years older than myself). I was an anonymous peer, but in our school of 500 he stood out; he stood out exceptionally to me. His striking jawline, his maturity above the masses, his hobbies, his skills, his intellect.... it all intrigued me. And if the word suits you, the aura, or energy perhaps, that he possessed did just that - possessed me.
I have been trying to think of the words to describe this connection since I first knew it was happening. Alas, I have not been able to. In the hallways, it is as if I have a sixth sense, I always seem to know when he is around. My eyes scan for him, and follow him until he's out of sight. A year and a half ago, maybe, I used the cowardice way to meet; I sent him a facebook message. I hardly knew at all what to say, or what I was feeling. I briefly explained that I had noticed him around, and have had a sense of strong intrigue towards him.
We've spent time outside of school three or four times. The first day I was nearly petrified.. I think I saw maybe five words the entire time. The next was slightly better, I managed to get out more than one word at a time. I'm at the place where I can speak sentences to him now. He doesn't seem to mind one bit. We do have the most satisfying of conversations online however..
My problem is time. Time is conceptual, yes. But generally it does move too fast. And for me, too slow. It has taken me two and a half years to get to the point of fascination to sentences.. And that is far too slow. How strongly I want to get to know him, open myself up to him. But how fast time goes. He's graduating in several months, and moving away. He is leaving the valley and not soon returning. We will continue to speak online, and we have decided to write letters. For now that shall be enough.
I have already surprised myself in many ways with my journey with this boy. I know I can do it again. I will use the next several months to my advantage. I will become a new person, and I will embrace the remaining time. It is not a deadline, but an opportunity.
Besides, I think I might be falling in love. But really, what do I know of love at the age of 16?
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i hope you get to see each other after he graduates.
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