introspection
Last night I was thinking about death.
Over the past years I've grown to think about it more and more frequently, it's a little bit morbid.
It actually scares me a lot, so much so that when I was thinking of it last night I started crying.
I wasn't crying over the fact that I am going to die, or everyone is going to die, but I was crying over the fact that once I do die ... I will no longer be able to see anyone I love again. It's hard to imagine but I just kept musing over it. It's one of the scariest thoughts that I think I will ever have. What am I going to do when I die? Where am I going to go? I don't believe in heaven nor hell, so what if I'm just floating in a dense, dark space for the rest of eternity after I die? I somewhat believe in reincarnation, so what if I'm reincarnated? Will I meet the people I once loved yet again, or will I live out some other life? I'm scared.
I don't want to accidentally say something hurtful or meaningless to someone and that be my last words to them for them to remember me by. I want to be able to spend as much time with the people I love as possible. My friends, Drew, my cousin. I just want them to know that no matter what happens, I love them. I feel so bad that I've wasted so many days being mad at them or bashing them down when the days are already so limited..
Any of us could die at any moment now.
Over the past years I've grown to think about it more and more frequently, it's a little bit morbid.
It actually scares me a lot, so much so that when I was thinking of it last night I started crying.
I wasn't crying over the fact that I am going to die, or everyone is going to die, but I was crying over the fact that once I do die ... I will no longer be able to see anyone I love again. It's hard to imagine but I just kept musing over it. It's one of the scariest thoughts that I think I will ever have. What am I going to do when I die? Where am I going to go? I don't believe in heaven nor hell, so what if I'm just floating in a dense, dark space for the rest of eternity after I die? I somewhat believe in reincarnation, so what if I'm reincarnated? Will I meet the people I once loved yet again, or will I live out some other life? I'm scared.
I don't want to accidentally say something hurtful or meaningless to someone and that be my last words to them for them to remember me by. I want to be able to spend as much time with the people I love as possible. My friends, Drew, my cousin. I just want them to know that no matter what happens, I love them. I feel so bad that I've wasted so many days being mad at them or bashing them down when the days are already so limited..
Any of us could die at any moment now.