(no subject)
Its been a weird start to 2009. 13 days in, and its gone by quickly, but I feel like I have NO idea what I'm doing. I was home in Mass for much of the last week to escape all the drama associated with Newport. Its hard to focus sometimes because its all right in front of me, so when I when I leave for a few days it allows me to recharge. I had a breakdown with my mom the other night. It sort of came out of no where, and I just sobbed because I cant seem to get where I want to be fast enough. For the first time EVER, my mom acknowledge the progress I've made since freshman year, that roommate and relationship problems were not all my fault, but that I wasn't a whole person over the last few years, but that I'm pretty damn close to being a good whole person. It was nice to hear it because I feel like she finally understood everything I've done over the last few years. I just want to get out of my house and into my new apartment. I feel like once I get there, everything will fall into place. I'm working my damn hardest to get there, so hopefully within the next two months I can do it. Then I can get a dog, have a great summer, maybe even fall in love (that might be stretching it) and get a job that pays well and I love. Regardless of how it works out, I know that it will, I'm just not patient. I am however, trying.