_garden: I'm the good slayer now
So, B's gone off the deep end and not in the fun way I go off the deep end every now and then. I'm not talking about the occasional beatdown on a vampire or going out for some after-slay action. I'm talking about full out teaming up with the enemy and beating down her buddies kind of crazy. And when Buffy Summers makes *me* look sane? You know it's gotta be bad. I know I ain't perfect -- I'm a few cards short of a deck, but do you see me beating on poor defenseless wimps like Willow fuckin' Rosenberg or makin' with the big lust for the undead? No. I've got a mouth like a trucker and a lust for the kill, but I keep my damage at the things that deserve it -- the vamps, demons, and whatever else crawls out of that Hellmouth.
Turns out? The day after our little heart-to-heart, B goes bat-shit crazy at school, runs out, and we think she's jumped ship, but then G-man runs into her; and get this -- B's all teamed up with Angelus and tryin' to pull off that whole "check me out I'm so badass because I've got a vampire boyfriend" act. I don't mean to laugh, but come on! Little Miss Pastels working the goth look? So not happening. And Angelus? Whatever. We all know she's got her panties all twisted up for Harris, so all this I'm in love with the big bad vampire crap is bullshit. I'm not buying it.
Does Buffy really think she stands a chance against a slayer, a witch, a couple of watchers, and a whole slew of potential chicks? We got the brains and the brawn on our side, and I hate to say it, but B? Not the brightest crayon in the box. Don't figure a vamp's got much brains either. I mean, the dudes I run into on patrol are a lot of the stupid, so I'm guessing Angelus ain't much different. If the crop's bad, even the cream of it's not gonna be anything to brag about. For real now, I don't know why the gang's all worried. I get that they're bummed that their precious Buffy's moved onto bigger and badder things, but we can take her! I'm a slayer too, you know? If anybody's got the goods to beat her, it's me.
Everybody's acting like it's the end of the world around here. Giles ain't looking too hot after his encounter... guy won't even flirt with me anymore. Wesley's all wound up too. Guess the watcher types are blaming themselves for this, like maybe if they saw it coming, then they could've stopped it before it got bad. I still say we should've just doped her up 'til she dealt with the departure of mommy dearest, but my opinion don't seem to weigh much around here. Even with the Buff taking a vacation, I'm still getting the short end of the stick. Always second best, you know? Never good enough for them.
Well, fuck that! I don't need a group of lame-ass high school kids to trail after me like a bunch of whipped puppies or a bunch of British men to fawn over me like I'm the queen of fuckin' England. I was chosen for a reason, I wasn't just some cosmic fuck up, and now's my chance to finally prove that my calling wasn't a mistake. I'm just as good a slayer as Buffy. Hell, I'm probably even better. See, B's got this thing where all she does is whine about how slaying messes up her picket fence lifestyle, but me? This is what I live for! This is what I was made to do! And with Buffy playin' it up as the bad slayer, now's my time to shine. I'm gonna take her down once and for all. I might even get her new boytoy too, just for kicks. Nothing says slayer like taking down the biggest and baddest of the vamps, you know? I'm gonna kick their asses. Man, B's gonna be sorry she ever messed with me.
Tonight's my night. Screw Giles and his misfits, I'm gonna do this *my* way.
Turns out? The day after our little heart-to-heart, B goes bat-shit crazy at school, runs out, and we think she's jumped ship, but then G-man runs into her; and get this -- B's all teamed up with Angelus and tryin' to pull off that whole "check me out I'm so badass because I've got a vampire boyfriend" act. I don't mean to laugh, but come on! Little Miss Pastels working the goth look? So not happening. And Angelus? Whatever. We all know she's got her panties all twisted up for Harris, so all this I'm in love with the big bad vampire crap is bullshit. I'm not buying it.
Does Buffy really think she stands a chance against a slayer, a witch, a couple of watchers, and a whole slew of potential chicks? We got the brains and the brawn on our side, and I hate to say it, but B? Not the brightest crayon in the box. Don't figure a vamp's got much brains either. I mean, the dudes I run into on patrol are a lot of the stupid, so I'm guessing Angelus ain't much different. If the crop's bad, even the cream of it's not gonna be anything to brag about. For real now, I don't know why the gang's all worried. I get that they're bummed that their precious Buffy's moved onto bigger and badder things, but we can take her! I'm a slayer too, you know? If anybody's got the goods to beat her, it's me.
Everybody's acting like it's the end of the world around here. Giles ain't looking too hot after his encounter... guy won't even flirt with me anymore. Wesley's all wound up too. Guess the watcher types are blaming themselves for this, like maybe if they saw it coming, then they could've stopped it before it got bad. I still say we should've just doped her up 'til she dealt with the departure of mommy dearest, but my opinion don't seem to weigh much around here. Even with the Buff taking a vacation, I'm still getting the short end of the stick. Always second best, you know? Never good enough for them.
Well, fuck that! I don't need a group of lame-ass high school kids to trail after me like a bunch of whipped puppies or a bunch of British men to fawn over me like I'm the queen of fuckin' England. I was chosen for a reason, I wasn't just some cosmic fuck up, and now's my chance to finally prove that my calling wasn't a mistake. I'm just as good a slayer as Buffy. Hell, I'm probably even better. See, B's got this thing where all she does is whine about how slaying messes up her picket fence lifestyle, but me? This is what I live for! This is what I was made to do! And with Buffy playin' it up as the bad slayer, now's my time to shine. I'm gonna take her down once and for all. I might even get her new boytoy too, just for kicks. Nothing says slayer like taking down the biggest and baddest of the vamps, you know? I'm gonna kick their asses. Man, B's gonna be sorry she ever messed with me.
Tonight's my night. Screw Giles and his misfits, I'm gonna do this *my* way.