changes
wow. sometimes life moves so fast it makes me sick. there's so many times that i jump into life full throttle, only to be confused by it when it's over. like i missed something really important. or i was so intent on experiencing it "right" or fully that i forget to just enjoy.
Nate is a completely different person. and i've decided that i'm not even going to call him kiy anymore because that's not who he is in my mind. it seems so long ago that i was enthralled with his every word. so much time has passed since i ached for his comfort. like a distant memory that is nothing more than a whisper and a smile - fading quickly. i'm surprised how happy i am for him. his relationship included. it scares me and shakes me to remember how i felt about him. and to be uprooted when i realized it wasn't at all what i thought it to be. i'm glad he has what he always wanted. and that's all i'm going to write about our relationship ever again.
deep breath.
i moved into my new apartment yesterday and i have HUGE hopes for this year and my new roommates. they're so nice and a lot like me. we drank a little bit last night... it tasted like Central. :) my awesome dad lugged a loft upstairs for me and assembled it. the only thing we forgot was a frame or some plywood that would support the mattress. lol, so i'm definately sleeping on the couch this week. i passed out there last night and it was very comfy, so i think i'll live. :) my room is like a dollhouse. maybe that will encourage me to sit in it alone less.
i was looking for change the yesterday, and i found something in my purse that made me cry. i couldn't help it. Stephen wrote me this note and it was so heartfelt and honest... i <3 that kid. i already miss him like crazy. thursday is not going to come early enough... yeah for housesitting! i love how intriguing he is to me. and those eyes...rediculous! :-D i know this is a bit mushy, but i can't help it. just thinking about him makes me smile uncontrollably.
i'm optimistic about my classes this semester. and so i'm off to buy some books... joy. *gag*
i've also decided that i am ok with my past. it happened. i can't change it. but i can learn from it, which i have. i was so worried about what stephen's sister was going to think of me... i walked on eggshells around her. but ya know, i'm sure that she's done some things that she's not proud of either. and so i'm going to move on and look up and forward toward my future:) cause that's all i can do.
peace out!
ps - I got to do the awesome subway love handshake with Ryan b4 i left yesterday!!!!! that totally made my day! " *dog shawdow puppet* where do dogs go? to the pound! *pound, pound, pound* " i'm gonna miss them!
subway love!
Nate is a completely different person. and i've decided that i'm not even going to call him kiy anymore because that's not who he is in my mind. it seems so long ago that i was enthralled with his every word. so much time has passed since i ached for his comfort. like a distant memory that is nothing more than a whisper and a smile - fading quickly. i'm surprised how happy i am for him. his relationship included. it scares me and shakes me to remember how i felt about him. and to be uprooted when i realized it wasn't at all what i thought it to be. i'm glad he has what he always wanted. and that's all i'm going to write about our relationship ever again.
deep breath.
i moved into my new apartment yesterday and i have HUGE hopes for this year and my new roommates. they're so nice and a lot like me. we drank a little bit last night... it tasted like Central. :) my awesome dad lugged a loft upstairs for me and assembled it. the only thing we forgot was a frame or some plywood that would support the mattress. lol, so i'm definately sleeping on the couch this week. i passed out there last night and it was very comfy, so i think i'll live. :) my room is like a dollhouse. maybe that will encourage me to sit in it alone less.
i was looking for change the yesterday, and i found something in my purse that made me cry. i couldn't help it. Stephen wrote me this note and it was so heartfelt and honest... i <3 that kid. i already miss him like crazy. thursday is not going to come early enough... yeah for housesitting! i love how intriguing he is to me. and those eyes...rediculous! :-D i know this is a bit mushy, but i can't help it. just thinking about him makes me smile uncontrollably.
i'm optimistic about my classes this semester. and so i'm off to buy some books... joy. *gag*
i've also decided that i am ok with my past. it happened. i can't change it. but i can learn from it, which i have. i was so worried about what stephen's sister was going to think of me... i walked on eggshells around her. but ya know, i'm sure that she's done some things that she's not proud of either. and so i'm going to move on and look up and forward toward my future:) cause that's all i can do.
peace out!
ps - I got to do the awesome subway love handshake with Ryan b4 i left yesterday!!!!! that totally made my day! " *dog shawdow puppet* where do dogs go? to the pound! *pound, pound, pound* " i'm gonna miss them!
subway love!