am i throwing away a good oppertunity??

[fairytalefortwo]

i've pretty much made my decision that i'm not going to stay at SNC past this school year...I sort of wish I'd decided it earlier so I don't even have to stay for another semester...but who knows, maybe it'll be good for me. I've basically decided that I'm going to try and transfer into Eastern and move back to CT. Eastern is one of only like 5 schools in CT that offers Envi Sci, and it'll work pretty well cause it's only like 15 or 20min from Foxwoods, and that's where Jose wants to try and get a job when we move back there. Idk, I sort of feel like I'm a total failure, cause I'm leaving this beautiful awesome place and going back to CT...I guess at least I'm not going back to Waterbury. I know my mom is going to be supportive, but I have a feeling my dad is going to be disappointed in me. Plus I feel bad cause Jose came all the way out here for me and now I don't even want to stay. But we suck at making friends and both miss our families, so he's pretty stoked on moving back to CT too. I guess it's that I have some of the best friends anyone could ever hope for back in CT, and I feel like there's no reason to try and make those bonds with people out here. I mean, it's not like I'm a total loner and all anti-social and shit, I do have friends, just not any super close ones like the ones I have at home. But there are most definitely people out here that I will miss. Life just seems like it'll be so much happier when I'm an hourish from Waterbury, and I can go back and see my friends that are still there and my family whenever I want to, and I'm like an hour and a halfish from Boston so I can get my needed dosage of Mishelle. Maybe Waterbury really is a black hole...you can escape the place, and even if you didn't like it all that much when you were there...you still miss it like crazy when it's gone. I'm gonna go call my mom now and tell her what I want to do, I'm pretty sure she'll start crying because she'll be all excited cause she misses me...silly Debbi.

I hope I'm not screwing up my future...