I have a serious hate on for school...
College blows! I don't know how to learn this crap, I swear. It's like reading Venusian... I don't even know where to start taking notes for biochem but do know that I'm required to memorize the name, abbreviation, form, sub-group, and function of 20 amino acids. They are bringing up chemistry "review" that I barely slid through in Chem 116 last semester. Organic chem might be a cakewalk compared to Biochem, and that's saying something... and it's not good. Hopefully my other two classes won't be as horrible (but I'm not keeping my hopes up).
Cid decided to go back to fire-fighting. This is so not helping my stress level. He does know that I may not be able to handle it. If I can't handle it, I'm kicking him out. I don't think he thinks I'm completely serious about this. I am, deadly so. He also knows that if I end it, I'm not coming back. It's too hard to love someone that much and go back and forth (together, not, together, not...). I love the boy to death, I'd marry him if this wasn't hanging over my head. I have big, nasty abandonment issues. I grew up with my dad leaving, unexpectedly, all the god-damn time. I won't condemn myself to that misery when I can avoid it. I cannot handle it.
Cid decided to go back to fire-fighting. This is so not helping my stress level. He does know that I may not be able to handle it. If I can't handle it, I'm kicking him out. I don't think he thinks I'm completely serious about this. I am, deadly so. He also knows that if I end it, I'm not coming back. It's too hard to love someone that much and go back and forth (together, not, together, not...). I love the boy to death, I'd marry him if this wasn't hanging over my head. I have big, nasty abandonment issues. I grew up with my dad leaving, unexpectedly, all the god-damn time. I won't condemn myself to that misery when I can avoid it. I cannot handle it.