Making Sense of it all
I don't even really know where to start. The world has thrown me a curve ball. The good and the bad should never be so horribly mixed. What was that toy I had as a kid. Where you clipped in a piece of paper and it spun around in circles while you dropped paint from little bottles. Do you remember what I'm talking about? Right now I feel like my brain is the paper and each different color is a different feeling/emotion/event. And they are getting so jumbled I don't really know which color I'm looking at right now.
The Good:
- J's is going back to school. And he has few classes left than he thought.
- I have 2, possibly 3 new models for fairy photos that I'm very excited about
- I just finished a photo I'm pretty proud of.
- I've found some kindred fairy photographers on the web whose work I respect. And together we will hopefully become a force to be reckoned with.
The Mixed:
- Current job situations that are to early to speak of now.
- I think I have officially run out of hours in the day
The Bad:
- Finances are going to be tight with J back in school.
- My job is starting to really drag me down.
And after I've already had all these goods and bads and maybes; these blacks and whites and grays swirling around pulling me in every direction at once..... I get an email. One of the friends I consider very dearly, which is a very rare thing has just suffered a horrible loss. His brother in law is Dead. I don't use euphemisms. Learning about death so early does that to you. And now I'm torn. I care about him and his wife and his sister in law, the survivors. I want to be there for them, but I don't want to intrude on any family affairs. Especially since I see them rarely because they live out of town.
And to make matters worse I don't feel I have time to grieve, WTF. I want to sit and stare at a wall or loose myself in some mindless endeavor. But that damned brain keeps reminding me how much SHIT I have to do this weekend.
The Good:
- J's is going back to school. And he has few classes left than he thought.
- I have 2, possibly 3 new models for fairy photos that I'm very excited about
- I just finished a photo I'm pretty proud of.
- I've found some kindred fairy photographers on the web whose work I respect. And together we will hopefully become a force to be reckoned with.
The Mixed:
- Current job situations that are to early to speak of now.
- I think I have officially run out of hours in the day
The Bad:
- Finances are going to be tight with J back in school.
- My job is starting to really drag me down.
And after I've already had all these goods and bads and maybes; these blacks and whites and grays swirling around pulling me in every direction at once..... I get an email. One of the friends I consider very dearly, which is a very rare thing has just suffered a horrible loss. His brother in law is Dead. I don't use euphemisms. Learning about death so early does that to you. And now I'm torn. I care about him and his wife and his sister in law, the survivors. I want to be there for them, but I don't want to intrude on any family affairs. Especially since I see them rarely because they live out of town.
And to make matters worse I don't feel I have time to grieve, WTF. I want to sit and stare at a wall or loose myself in some mindless endeavor. But that damned brain keeps reminding me how much SHIT I have to do this weekend.