Songbird
Suho/Baekhyun PG-13 4440 words
Joonmyun’s star artist has left, his record label has gone bankrupt, and he’s on a midnight train to New York City to try and piece his life back together. Enter Baekhyun, some obnoxious kid who talks too much and who ultimately convinces him to take a chance.
Joonmyun’s never been on a train this late at night before. He’s usually sleeping or slaving away over contract papers, locked away in his quiet studio. But now that studio’s nearly gone, boarded up and closed down, the eviction sign ominous, haunting on the front door.
Gemini studios had once been well-known, famous for birthing superstar Kim Jongdae, an artist of great talent, ridiculous lungs, and a disastrous personality. Jongdae is gone now, contract terminated and new one signed, leaving Joonmyun in debt amidst screaming matches and broken promises.
Joonmyun’s future seems bleak now. He’s a music producer with no artists, with thousands in overdue fees, a studio he can’t pay rent for, and no foreseeable change. So he's going where any idiot trying to find talent and a break would go.
New York City. Four hours from Pennsylvania, his home and all that is safe. Four hours away from his future, his past and hopefully to a change. Maybe he'll write jingles for commercials. Maybe he'll find his songbird, someone with the talent of Jongdae but the temperament of an angel.
Joonmyun knows how to spot talent, how to weed out the strong ones from the weak ones. It was with this skill that he found Jongdae scared and alone, voice cracking as he tried to see past his insecurities and sing like he meant it. At the time, no one had given Jongdae a chance, hadn't seen his real talent beyond his lack of self confidence and quiet rebellious nature, but Joonmyun had.
It's midnight, the last train of the night, and the most quiet. Exactly what Joonmyun wants. He wants anonymity, solace in the silence of the train, in the sound of the engine and the soft music that pours from his headphones. The late night trains have a feeling of weariness about them, of aching bones and fragile hearts. The only other people in the station are half asleep, shuffling to the 24 hour cafeteria, draped across a bench because of a delayed train. There are a few rowdy ones here and there, teenagers and college students taking the cheaper form of travel to see friends, to go home to family.
Joonmyun pays them no mind, scanning his tickets as quickly as possible and climbing onto the empty train, set to stop somewhere in New Jersey before switching lines. From what he'd read on reviews, this train is rarely taken, most people opting for the faster route with no changes and no stops, making this quieter, less travelled train perfect for Joonmyun, especially at this hour at night.
Joonmyun is the only passenger for now, walking to the back leisurely, humming to himself and spreading out over a back bench as if it's a bed, draping a blanket over himself and flicking through his kindle. He's intent to read some bad romance, or maybe a fantasy romp on this train ride, ignoring the articles on Jongdae's departure, and the editorials criticizing Joonmyun's management of his artist.
They're bullshit of course, and Joonmyun knows that, but it doesn't hurt any less to see the same reviewers who'd praised his studio last month suddenly taking the other side, scampering after Jongdae like loyal dogs.
His music choice is quiet tonight, a calming folk sound that never fails to take him to a place that makes him endlessly happy.
He doesn't get long into the album however, when a loud thump shocks him into dropping his phone and sit up straight in his seat, wild-eyed and rumpled. The source behind the noise turns out to be a boy, youthful in appearance with bright eyes and a smile too wide for this late at night, especially on a Monday no less. The boy's suitcase - or is he a man, Joonmyun can't tell - is lying open on the carriage floor, contents strewn everywhere, making a huge mess of the area around their seats.
Joonmyun sighs, inwardly cursing this stranger for picking the one spot near him on an empty train, or for not looking one bit apologetic for it or for his mess, as he cheerfully asks for help cleaning up, chipper apology not sounding one bit sincere.
Joonmyun doesn't say a word, sleepily helping pick up articles of clothing and a few stray snapbacks, hand hovering over a notebook titled "Lyrics" in messy handwriting, before the boy is snatching it before he can and shoving it hastily into his suitcase.
"Thank you for that!" The boy says, tone never losing it's cheery quality, too loud in the carriage. "Sorry again for the loud noise, I'm not usually that clumsy. I'm Baekhyun by the way. What's your name, babe?"
"Babe?" Joonmyun echoes, frowning at the boy -- Baekhyun -- trying to give him his best unimpressed look. "You don't even know me."
"Nope, but you're cute." Baekhyun says with a grin, sitting down next to Joonmyun, stretching back and throwing off his shoes, legs dangling off the bench cutely. "On second that." He says, leaning closer to Joonmyun and cocking his head to the side. "I might know you."
"Um." Joonmyun starts, off put by Baekhyun's forward nature. "My name is Joonmyun? How would you know me?"
"Yes! I do know you." Baekhyun is still grinning, in a way that's beginning to worry Joonmyun a little, making him shift away in stranger danger. "You're that producer. The one who owned that studio that went bankrupt. That really sucks."
Joonmyun visibly deflates, sighing heavily at Baekhyun's words. He's trying to escape all of this, trying to get away from his past, though he fears the future more. He doesn't need some kid on the train telling him of his life failures, reminding him that there's nothing left for him. He'll get a job at his Mother's restaurant again, use what little savings he has from Jongdae's fame to get himself a condo, one a lot less nice than the one he just sold in Philadelphia.
"I'm sorry." Baekhyun says, not sounding at all like he's actually sorry. "I just think you shouldn't have closed down your whole business. You just need to find a new star artist. You know a good one that doesn't fuck you over."
"You think he fucked me over?" Joonmyun replies, confused. He has no idea who this kid is, or why he seems interested in Joonmyun's money problems. Baekhyun must be some Jongdae fanboy that spent too much time reading Jongdae's wikipedia page. But at the same time, he doesn't seem to be taking the same stance the rest of the internet is, that Jongdae is wonderful and fantastic and Joonmyun deserved to be pushed to bankruptcy. Joonmyun is curious, so he lets Baekhyun continue with what he’s saying, wondering how he’s gone from taking the quiet train to chatting with some stranger about his professional life.
"Well yeah." Baekhyun chatters on, propping his feet up on the back of the bench and leaning back into a pile of sweaters. "He was nothing. You made him everything. He saw an opportunity that would benefit him, one that you wouldn't give him, and so he ruined you.”
Joonmyun doesn’t say anything, just gives Baekhyun a level stare before going back to his nap, making a point of lying down on the bench and pressing play, just so Baekhyun knows not to disturb his sleep. He makes it about ten minutes before Baekhyun is beside him again, poking him gently and yapping in his ear.
"You know," Baekhyun is saying. "I've been trying to get signed with a label."
"Have you now." Joonmyun mutters darkly, pulling a headphone out and burying his face in his sweaters. He refuses to move from his spot, content with carrying out the conversation fully without even looking at Backhyun.
"Yep," Baekhyun says sullunly beside him. "I must have gone to at least 50 labels by now, but it's hard in the city where everyone is searching for their big break."
"And what makes you think you deserve it more than them?" Joonmyun shoots out accusingly at Baekhyun's bitter tone, turning his head to squint at him.
"I don't," Baekhyun says shortly. "Everyone deserves a chance but I just wish I could be the one getting the chance for once."
Baekhyun pauses, looking at Joonmyun closely from where he's sitting on the floor across the bench and leaning on the cushions behind him. His face is unreadable, but the michief in his eyes is still there. Instead of making Joonmyun wary though, it makes him look cute, features trustworthy and boyish.
"I'll keep trying though," Baekhyun says finally, smiling widely. "I know I'm talented."
"Well you have the looks," Joonmyun says, regretting it immediately when he realizes what he sounds like, hitting on some decidedly annoying kid who's probably way too young for him. "What do you play then?" He asks, deflecting his statement with curiosity. "Are you in a band?"
"I sing," Baekhuyn says, eyes twinkling. "Not with a band though. I'm just by myself."
"Yeah. You're obnoxious so you're probably better off alone," Joonmyun mumbles, burrowing back into his makeshift bed and making to ignore Baekhyun again.
"I have the personality of a solo star." Baekhyun giggles, voice a few feet close to Joonmyun. "I'm likeable, good-looking and loud."
Joonmyun finally gives up, sitting up on the bench and full-on glaring at Baekhyun, not even trying to hide his irritation as he attepts to smooth out his wild hair.
"I don't know about likeable," He grumbles, slumping into the arm of the bench and twitching with annoyance when Baekhyun gets up from the carriage floor and plops down beside him, grinning good-naturedly.
"I'm adorable," Baekhyun says, voice a little too self-sure for Joonmyuin's tastes. "I'm also a good singer. That's another good thing for a solo artist to have."
Joonmyun doesn't answer, curling himself further into the bench and sighing deeply. Baekhyun seems to realizes his frustration finally, leaning back into the uncomfortable plastic back of the bench and closing his eyes. They lapse into a silence for a while, Joonmyun just on the edge of dozing when Baekhyun starts again.
"You know," Baekhyun hums, inching along the bench seats until he's right next to Joonmyun, arm brushing his as Baekhyun leans over him. "I was saving up to open my own record label. I had my trust fund yeah, since I dropped out college."
"How much do you have?" Joonmyun murmurs, adding the bare minimum to the discussion, barely hearing what Baekhyun is saying."
"About 50 grand at this point," Baekhyun chirps. Joonmyun can see the smug grin Baekhyun probably has on his face and he cringes. It's a lot of money though, probably enough to sustain and start up a studio. If it's sucessful that is, which Joonmyun doubts this Baekhyun kid can do.
Baekhyun isn't continuing though, and Joonmyun blinks up at him out of curiosity, Baekhyun's face coming into view right above him, too close for comfort. Joonmyun pushes him away with a grunt, yawning loudly.
"All I need is someone to co-own with me," Baekhyun says thoughtfully, giving Joonmyun a coy look. "Like someone who produces music and has experience but no studio."
"You're not thinking of me possibly you can't-" Joonmyun says, eyebrows shooting up at Baekhyun's sudden insinuations.
"Look at us, a producer without an artist and an artist without a label." Baekhyun says, but his voice is softer now, rough around the edges.
"Are you implying something?" Joonmyun says, cocking a brow in Baekhyun's direction. His legs are still crossed, eyes still wary, but behind them Baekhyun sees something flash. A small glimmer of hope pouring through in his voice.
“Maybe.” Baekhyun says, and his lips curl up into a grin. “If you can handle me.”
“I’d have to hear you first” Joonmyun snorts, running a hand through his hair and frowning at Baekhyun, taking in his toothy smile and tousled hair. His eyes are the only thing that betrays his honesty, tired and dead, tinged with slight sadness. Joonmyun isn’t sure which passenger of this train he feels worse for. Himself or this strange boy that claims to sing better than anyone he’s ever met.
“You don’t need to hear me to know I’m amazing.” Baekhyun says, flippant and flirting, leaning back into the worn cushions and glancing out the windows that show nothing but tunnel walls and blackness.
"You look like a trashy popstar."
"I could be your trashy popstar." Baekhyun says, voice a purr as he drapes himself over the bench next to Joonmyun. "Think of it, sign me and we can rebuild you up from the ground."
"No offence kid." Joonmyun starts, raising a tired eyebrow sceptically and fixing Baekhyun with an appraising look. "I doubt you're going to be the next big thing in my companies future, or anyone's musical future that's for sure."
"How would you know that." Baekhyun smirks, completely unaffected by Joonmyun's lack of tact, and insult. "And I'm not a kid, I'm only a year younger than you."
"How do you even know that?" Joonmyun asks warily, shifting away from Baekhyun in his seat and sighing heavily. He's not in the mood to deal with some kid who wears hideous snapbacks and probably can't even sing harassing him for a record deal.
"I read your wikipedia page." Baekhyun grins toothily, as if to prove Joonmyun's point. He's had enough, and groans loudly, pulling his hood up over his face.
"C'mon man." Baekhyun prods, sitting on the train floor in front of Joonmyun and poking him through his hood. "At least give me a chance. Stay with me in the city, I'll save you hotel prices."
"I'm not staying anywhere with you, you'd probably chatter in my ear all night and try to seduce me in my sleep." Joonmyun mumbles, voice muffled in the material of his bag, and he growls in frustration when all Baekhyun does is let out a breathy, barking laugh, much too loud for a quiet train past midnight.
"Both of those are things many boys would die to have the chance to do and here I am offering it to you for free," Baekhyun says airily, nose probably stuck up in the air, "you should give me a chance."
Joonmyun just snorts, eyes closed and hood up, dead set on finally getting some rest and not hearing Baekhyun for the rest of ride, willing it to magically shorten. Baekhyun is quiet for almost an hour, something Joonmyun considers a miracle as he finally passes out, lulled by the feel and sound of the train moving, muffled by the walls of their carriage.
He wakes up who knows how long later to the sound of singing. A deeper voice, one that carries a power to it even when it's this quiet, a lullaby voice that carries over to Joonmyun. He glances up quickly, watching Baekhyun carefully through his haze of sleep.
Baekhyun is singing to himself, headphones on and eyes trained on the window, watching the buildings of New Jersey fly by. They'll be there soon enough at this point to part their separate ways and never speak again.
Now that he's hearing Baekhyun sing however, Joonmyun is interested. Not only is he interested, he's a lot interested, hearing a quality that could rival Jongdae's, and suddenly Joonmyuns mind is filled with images. He can picture Baekhyun and Jongdae being chart rivals, the up and coming star and the old news. He shakes the thoughts out of his mind, but still continues listening to Baekhyun, nodding appreciatively.
Baekhyun wasn't kidding when he said he coud sing, and Joonmyun is having second thoughts, about his personality, about that money, about the offer. He shouldn't be stuck on the first one, shouldn't be attracted to someone who now has the potential to be his next artist, but he can't help it. Baekhyun is attractive, with his soft round face, his wide grin and and his (also soft, Joonmyun had discovered when Baekhyun poked him.) fingers.
Baekhyun turns his head, noticing Joonmyun watching him and he stops singing, entire face lighting up as he rips the headphones out, scampering over to Joonmyun.
"You heard me!" He says breathlessly, and he looks a lot less cocky right now, more nervous, jittery, voice shaking with the effort to stay level and noncommital. "How was I?"
"You're a good singer," Joonmyun admits, though begrugingly. "I would probably consider you for a company audition at least."
"Consider that my audition," Baekhyun says in a sly voice, once again draping himself too close to Joonmyun. "I can really sing for you if you give me a microphone. Blow your mind, maybe blow other things too. You won't regret it."
"What did you just say?" Joonmyun sputters, tripping over Baekhyun's words, the clear innuendo in his voice.
"You should be my co-owner and sign me," Baekhyun says, shrugging his shoulders as if it's the simplest decision Joonmyun has ever had to make. "You said it earlier. I've got the looks, and now you know I've got the talent."
Baekhyun stops, before adding, "Plus, I'm not good at all that Actual Business Stuff, and I don't know how to register a company or anything."
"Well I still have my company," Joonmyun says, voice too soft, not believing the words that are spilling from his mouth. "All I would need is a location and profit."
"I thought your company-"
"No, I still have the name. Nobody bought the company and it's mine still. I just don't have a location, artists, or equipment," Joonmyun sighs. "I lost everything, but I didn't lose my one treasure."
"That would leave us with a lot of extra money," Baekhyun says slowly, doing the math in his mind and fixing Joonmyun with a look. "A lot of extra money for promotions, equipments, rentals."
"We're not-" Joonmyun huffs at Baekhyun, backpeddling and attempting to end the conversation right there. "I'm not agreeing to anything. I'm moving to New York and I'm going to write jingles and live a quiet life."
"A quiet life, in New York?" Baekhyun scoffs, over confidence back. Joonmyun's beginning to think it's not over confidance at all, but a defense mechanism. "Please, Joonmyun. That's impossible. Live a little. It's my money and my career this time, not your pride or Jongdae. What's there to really lose from this?"
"Nothing," Joonmyun says, before frowning and speaking in a panicked voice. "A lot. There's a lot to lose. I'll have an even worse reputation if this doesn't work out, or you'll just be a struggling musician in a lot of debt by the end. It won't work out for either of us."
"You're only looking on the negative side of things," Baekhyun persists, and he's right beside Joonmyun again, eyes searching his face in agitation, and maybe something else. "Plus, when I told you to come stay with me, I didn't just mean as a guest, I meant as my roommate. You'll have somewhere to fall back to."
"I'm not sure," Joonmyun starts again. "I don't even know why we're having this conversation. You could be lying, you could be -- you're a stranger -- and it's too risky. Do you know just how many record labels there are in New York City?"
"Yes," Baekhyun snaps, looking irratated himself now, "Yes I know because I've been to every single one of them. And I've been to every single one in Pennsylvannia too. If I hadn't run out of options I wouldn't have started talking to a bankrupt and homeless producer on his way to the city for who the fuck knows what. I have nowhere else to turn to about this, you know."
"I-"
"I dropped out of school to pursue this dream and lost my parents trust. I've been using my trust fund to travel to every label in the goddamn country, I practice for 7 hours a day at a vocal school." Baekhyun continues, talking over him. "Just give me a chance. I'll make it up to. You'll see, I'll be great. Just give me a chance."
"So you only started talking to me because you knew I was a semi-famous producer." Joonmyun says, sounding unimpressed, when he's in fact very impressed by Baekhyun's speech. The same parts of his heart are being tugged, and he sees another struggle within Baekhyun, someone with the drive, with the need, talent and determination Jongdae had(has, who knows anymore).
"No I started talking to you because you were cute and you seemed nice when I dropped my luggage." Baekhyun says quickly, cheeks turning red and eyes flashing with frustration. "But when I found out you were Kim Joonmyun, I saw my last chance and I took it."
Joonmyun just nods, eyebrows furrowed and mouth slightly open, features screaming unsurity, anxiety.
"Look I'm sorry I tried," Baekhyun sighs, getting to his feet and unloading his suitcase from the compartment, he walks to the door of the carriage and shakes his head at Joonmyun. "I'll go sit in another carriage. I was just going to hit on you, not ruin your train ride."
Baekhyun opens the door, ready to leave, but something in Joonmyun snaps, and he leaps to his feet, grabbing onto Baekhyun elbow and yanking him back inside. He's breathing heavily, nervous about the decision he's yet to make. He can hear the train slowing down, almost inside the station, and he knows this needs to be quick.
"Wait. I'll do it." Joonmyun blurts out, shocked at the firmness and surity of his own voice. "Just tell me how much rent is, and we can start looking for locations."
Baekhyun looks awed, as if he never thought Joonmyun would say yes, and ten minutes ago, Joonmyun had felt the same, sure that he would be annoyed for a while and never see this kid again. Baekhyun stays there, staring at him in disbelief until the the speakers above them beep loudly, signalling their arrival.
"Well," Baekhyun says, breaking into a relieved and genuine smile, different from the sleazy ones he'd been trying to use earlier. "Like I said, you won't regret it. And if you do, you have permission to kick me onto the street and live in my apartment."
"That sounds like a fair deal," Joonmyun replies weakly, dragging his luggage behind him as they get off the train together, pausing on the platform and turning apprehensively back to Baekhyun. "So uh, where to?"
Baekhyun laughs, echoing loud in the empty station and grabs Joonmyun's free hand, dragging him to an exist as fast as he can without causing their suitcases to go tumbling. Once outside he turns back to Joonmyun.
"You sure about this?" Baekhyun says carefully, resting his suitcase on the ground and pulling out his phone. "Once I make this taxi drive there's no backing out without feeling guilty on your part, you know."
"I know," Joonmyun mutters, gripping his own luggage firmly and smiling at Baekhyun. "I'm not a spontaneous and reckless person like this at all. But the last time I made this kind of choice was when I took Jongdae under my wing."
"That turned out pretty well didn't it?" Baekhyun says and Joonmyun startles. But he doesn't hear any teasing or malice in Baekhyun's voice and he looks at him quizzically.
"Well he's a huge star, right?" Baekhyun continues, phone hanging limp in his hand and face serious. "He may have ditched you with his bad case of Diva fever, but he wouldn't be where he is today without you. And I think that says something about your spontaneous decisions."
"I-- well -- I --" Joonmyun breathes deeply, about to argue, but a voice in the back of his mind whispers to him, tells him that Baekhyun is right, that he's done long, hard work and it's paid off, all because of a little compassion years back. "You're right I guess."
"I know Im right." Baekhyun grins. "I'm always right."
"Don't make me regret it already. You're insufferable." Joonmyun bites back at him. "Call us that taxi, and I want you to bring me to an ATM. I need to see proof of this savings fund."
"Perfect. There's just one condition." Baekhyun says ominously as he punches in his pin code, eyes on the screen but voice directed at Joonmyun.
"What's that?" Joonmyun asks, mind going rampant with the worst possible scenario, but he's sighing with relief a moment later because there it is, in clear print on the machine in front of him.
Byun Baekhyun
PIN CODE: 0921
CHECK. ACC: $340
SAVINGS ACC: $54,500
TO EXIT PRESS: OK FOR MENU PRESS: 1
"You have to go on a date with me." Baekhyun says, waving his bank card in front of Joonmyun's face and leaning in close, grin in place. "You saw the numbers, I have some cash to spare for a nice dinner. Probably fancy like you successful business people are used to that."
"I thought you were hitting on me just to get me to sign you," Joonmyun says, mouth dropping open. "You actually want to-?"
"I was hitting on you because I think you're really hot," Baekhyun snorts, like it's the most obvious thing in the world, leaving Joonmyun still gaping as he spins on his heel and brings his phone to his ear, speaking quickly and quietly to the taxi service before dragging Joonmyun out a door.
"Why did you call a taxi? It's New York, can't you just-?" Joonmyun says disblieveingly as they stop outside on the cold street.
"This isn't the movies. It's like 4 in the morning, Joonmyun. They don't wait around to be waved at this time of night." Baekhyun says, voice just on the edge of condescending, and Joonmyun thinks this could be a very long and harrowing relationship if he doesn't get used to Baekhyun's personality.
"So what do you think," Baekhyun asks when the taxi pulls up a few minutes later. "About that date?"
Joonmyun slumps into the back passenger seat, looking at Baekhyun through half-asleep eyes. He grunts and shrugs his shoulders, chest squeezing with nerves at his sudden new future. If this all works out, he'll be running towards the future, not away from it.
"louder," Baekhyun jokes, poking him in the shoulder. "I didn't hear you."
"I said I'll think about," Joonmyun snaps, even though he's just done a lot of thinking on it, and he's pretty sure the answer is yes.
To all things, recklessly, stupidly, yes.
Joonmyun’s star artist has left, his record label has gone bankrupt, and he’s on a midnight train to New York City to try and piece his life back together. Enter Baekhyun, some obnoxious kid who talks too much and who ultimately convinces him to take a chance.
Joonmyun’s never been on a train this late at night before. He’s usually sleeping or slaving away over contract papers, locked away in his quiet studio. But now that studio’s nearly gone, boarded up and closed down, the eviction sign ominous, haunting on the front door.
Gemini studios had once been well-known, famous for birthing superstar Kim Jongdae, an artist of great talent, ridiculous lungs, and a disastrous personality. Jongdae is gone now, contract terminated and new one signed, leaving Joonmyun in debt amidst screaming matches and broken promises.
Joonmyun’s future seems bleak now. He’s a music producer with no artists, with thousands in overdue fees, a studio he can’t pay rent for, and no foreseeable change. So he's going where any idiot trying to find talent and a break would go.
New York City. Four hours from Pennsylvania, his home and all that is safe. Four hours away from his future, his past and hopefully to a change. Maybe he'll write jingles for commercials. Maybe he'll find his songbird, someone with the talent of Jongdae but the temperament of an angel.
Joonmyun knows how to spot talent, how to weed out the strong ones from the weak ones. It was with this skill that he found Jongdae scared and alone, voice cracking as he tried to see past his insecurities and sing like he meant it. At the time, no one had given Jongdae a chance, hadn't seen his real talent beyond his lack of self confidence and quiet rebellious nature, but Joonmyun had.
It's midnight, the last train of the night, and the most quiet. Exactly what Joonmyun wants. He wants anonymity, solace in the silence of the train, in the sound of the engine and the soft music that pours from his headphones. The late night trains have a feeling of weariness about them, of aching bones and fragile hearts. The only other people in the station are half asleep, shuffling to the 24 hour cafeteria, draped across a bench because of a delayed train. There are a few rowdy ones here and there, teenagers and college students taking the cheaper form of travel to see friends, to go home to family.
Joonmyun pays them no mind, scanning his tickets as quickly as possible and climbing onto the empty train, set to stop somewhere in New Jersey before switching lines. From what he'd read on reviews, this train is rarely taken, most people opting for the faster route with no changes and no stops, making this quieter, less travelled train perfect for Joonmyun, especially at this hour at night.
Joonmyun is the only passenger for now, walking to the back leisurely, humming to himself and spreading out over a back bench as if it's a bed, draping a blanket over himself and flicking through his kindle. He's intent to read some bad romance, or maybe a fantasy romp on this train ride, ignoring the articles on Jongdae's departure, and the editorials criticizing Joonmyun's management of his artist.
They're bullshit of course, and Joonmyun knows that, but it doesn't hurt any less to see the same reviewers who'd praised his studio last month suddenly taking the other side, scampering after Jongdae like loyal dogs.
His music choice is quiet tonight, a calming folk sound that never fails to take him to a place that makes him endlessly happy.
He doesn't get long into the album however, when a loud thump shocks him into dropping his phone and sit up straight in his seat, wild-eyed and rumpled. The source behind the noise turns out to be a boy, youthful in appearance with bright eyes and a smile too wide for this late at night, especially on a Monday no less. The boy's suitcase - or is he a man, Joonmyun can't tell - is lying open on the carriage floor, contents strewn everywhere, making a huge mess of the area around their seats.
Joonmyun sighs, inwardly cursing this stranger for picking the one spot near him on an empty train, or for not looking one bit apologetic for it or for his mess, as he cheerfully asks for help cleaning up, chipper apology not sounding one bit sincere.
Joonmyun doesn't say a word, sleepily helping pick up articles of clothing and a few stray snapbacks, hand hovering over a notebook titled "Lyrics" in messy handwriting, before the boy is snatching it before he can and shoving it hastily into his suitcase.
"Thank you for that!" The boy says, tone never losing it's cheery quality, too loud in the carriage. "Sorry again for the loud noise, I'm not usually that clumsy. I'm Baekhyun by the way. What's your name, babe?"
"Babe?" Joonmyun echoes, frowning at the boy -- Baekhyun -- trying to give him his best unimpressed look. "You don't even know me."
"Nope, but you're cute." Baekhyun says with a grin, sitting down next to Joonmyun, stretching back and throwing off his shoes, legs dangling off the bench cutely. "On second that." He says, leaning closer to Joonmyun and cocking his head to the side. "I might know you."
"Um." Joonmyun starts, off put by Baekhyun's forward nature. "My name is Joonmyun? How would you know me?"
"Yes! I do know you." Baekhyun is still grinning, in a way that's beginning to worry Joonmyun a little, making him shift away in stranger danger. "You're that producer. The one who owned that studio that went bankrupt. That really sucks."
Joonmyun visibly deflates, sighing heavily at Baekhyun's words. He's trying to escape all of this, trying to get away from his past, though he fears the future more. He doesn't need some kid on the train telling him of his life failures, reminding him that there's nothing left for him. He'll get a job at his Mother's restaurant again, use what little savings he has from Jongdae's fame to get himself a condo, one a lot less nice than the one he just sold in Philadelphia.
"I'm sorry." Baekhyun says, not sounding at all like he's actually sorry. "I just think you shouldn't have closed down your whole business. You just need to find a new star artist. You know a good one that doesn't fuck you over."
"You think he fucked me over?" Joonmyun replies, confused. He has no idea who this kid is, or why he seems interested in Joonmyun's money problems. Baekhyun must be some Jongdae fanboy that spent too much time reading Jongdae's wikipedia page. But at the same time, he doesn't seem to be taking the same stance the rest of the internet is, that Jongdae is wonderful and fantastic and Joonmyun deserved to be pushed to bankruptcy. Joonmyun is curious, so he lets Baekhyun continue with what he’s saying, wondering how he’s gone from taking the quiet train to chatting with some stranger about his professional life.
"Well yeah." Baekhyun chatters on, propping his feet up on the back of the bench and leaning back into a pile of sweaters. "He was nothing. You made him everything. He saw an opportunity that would benefit him, one that you wouldn't give him, and so he ruined you.”
Joonmyun doesn’t say anything, just gives Baekhyun a level stare before going back to his nap, making a point of lying down on the bench and pressing play, just so Baekhyun knows not to disturb his sleep. He makes it about ten minutes before Baekhyun is beside him again, poking him gently and yapping in his ear.
"You know," Baekhyun is saying. "I've been trying to get signed with a label."
"Have you now." Joonmyun mutters darkly, pulling a headphone out and burying his face in his sweaters. He refuses to move from his spot, content with carrying out the conversation fully without even looking at Backhyun.
"Yep," Baekhyun says sullunly beside him. "I must have gone to at least 50 labels by now, but it's hard in the city where everyone is searching for their big break."
"And what makes you think you deserve it more than them?" Joonmyun shoots out accusingly at Baekhyun's bitter tone, turning his head to squint at him.
"I don't," Baekhyun says shortly. "Everyone deserves a chance but I just wish I could be the one getting the chance for once."
Baekhyun pauses, looking at Joonmyun closely from where he's sitting on the floor across the bench and leaning on the cushions behind him. His face is unreadable, but the michief in his eyes is still there. Instead of making Joonmyun wary though, it makes him look cute, features trustworthy and boyish.
"I'll keep trying though," Baekhyun says finally, smiling widely. "I know I'm talented."
"Well you have the looks," Joonmyun says, regretting it immediately when he realizes what he sounds like, hitting on some decidedly annoying kid who's probably way too young for him. "What do you play then?" He asks, deflecting his statement with curiosity. "Are you in a band?"
"I sing," Baekhuyn says, eyes twinkling. "Not with a band though. I'm just by myself."
"Yeah. You're obnoxious so you're probably better off alone," Joonmyun mumbles, burrowing back into his makeshift bed and making to ignore Baekhyun again.
"I have the personality of a solo star." Baekhyun giggles, voice a few feet close to Joonmyun. "I'm likeable, good-looking and loud."
Joonmyun finally gives up, sitting up on the bench and full-on glaring at Baekhyun, not even trying to hide his irritation as he attepts to smooth out his wild hair.
"I don't know about likeable," He grumbles, slumping into the arm of the bench and twitching with annoyance when Baekhyun gets up from the carriage floor and plops down beside him, grinning good-naturedly.
"I'm adorable," Baekhyun says, voice a little too self-sure for Joonmyuin's tastes. "I'm also a good singer. That's another good thing for a solo artist to have."
Joonmyun doesn't answer, curling himself further into the bench and sighing deeply. Baekhyun seems to realizes his frustration finally, leaning back into the uncomfortable plastic back of the bench and closing his eyes. They lapse into a silence for a while, Joonmyun just on the edge of dozing when Baekhyun starts again.
"You know," Baekhyun hums, inching along the bench seats until he's right next to Joonmyun, arm brushing his as Baekhyun leans over him. "I was saving up to open my own record label. I had my trust fund yeah, since I dropped out college."
"How much do you have?" Joonmyun murmurs, adding the bare minimum to the discussion, barely hearing what Baekhyun is saying."
"About 50 grand at this point," Baekhyun chirps. Joonmyun can see the smug grin Baekhyun probably has on his face and he cringes. It's a lot of money though, probably enough to sustain and start up a studio. If it's sucessful that is, which Joonmyun doubts this Baekhyun kid can do.
Baekhyun isn't continuing though, and Joonmyun blinks up at him out of curiosity, Baekhyun's face coming into view right above him, too close for comfort. Joonmyun pushes him away with a grunt, yawning loudly.
"All I need is someone to co-own with me," Baekhyun says thoughtfully, giving Joonmyun a coy look. "Like someone who produces music and has experience but no studio."
"You're not thinking of me possibly you can't-" Joonmyun says, eyebrows shooting up at Baekhyun's sudden insinuations.
"Look at us, a producer without an artist and an artist without a label." Baekhyun says, but his voice is softer now, rough around the edges.
"Are you implying something?" Joonmyun says, cocking a brow in Baekhyun's direction. His legs are still crossed, eyes still wary, but behind them Baekhyun sees something flash. A small glimmer of hope pouring through in his voice.
“Maybe.” Baekhyun says, and his lips curl up into a grin. “If you can handle me.”
“I’d have to hear you first” Joonmyun snorts, running a hand through his hair and frowning at Baekhyun, taking in his toothy smile and tousled hair. His eyes are the only thing that betrays his honesty, tired and dead, tinged with slight sadness. Joonmyun isn’t sure which passenger of this train he feels worse for. Himself or this strange boy that claims to sing better than anyone he’s ever met.
“You don’t need to hear me to know I’m amazing.” Baekhyun says, flippant and flirting, leaning back into the worn cushions and glancing out the windows that show nothing but tunnel walls and blackness.
"You look like a trashy popstar."
"I could be your trashy popstar." Baekhyun says, voice a purr as he drapes himself over the bench next to Joonmyun. "Think of it, sign me and we can rebuild you up from the ground."
"No offence kid." Joonmyun starts, raising a tired eyebrow sceptically and fixing Baekhyun with an appraising look. "I doubt you're going to be the next big thing in my companies future, or anyone's musical future that's for sure."
"How would you know that." Baekhyun smirks, completely unaffected by Joonmyun's lack of tact, and insult. "And I'm not a kid, I'm only a year younger than you."
"How do you even know that?" Joonmyun asks warily, shifting away from Baekhyun in his seat and sighing heavily. He's not in the mood to deal with some kid who wears hideous snapbacks and probably can't even sing harassing him for a record deal.
"I read your wikipedia page." Baekhyun grins toothily, as if to prove Joonmyun's point. He's had enough, and groans loudly, pulling his hood up over his face.
"C'mon man." Baekhyun prods, sitting on the train floor in front of Joonmyun and poking him through his hood. "At least give me a chance. Stay with me in the city, I'll save you hotel prices."
"I'm not staying anywhere with you, you'd probably chatter in my ear all night and try to seduce me in my sleep." Joonmyun mumbles, voice muffled in the material of his bag, and he growls in frustration when all Baekhyun does is let out a breathy, barking laugh, much too loud for a quiet train past midnight.
"Both of those are things many boys would die to have the chance to do and here I am offering it to you for free," Baekhyun says airily, nose probably stuck up in the air, "you should give me a chance."
Joonmyun just snorts, eyes closed and hood up, dead set on finally getting some rest and not hearing Baekhyun for the rest of ride, willing it to magically shorten. Baekhyun is quiet for almost an hour, something Joonmyun considers a miracle as he finally passes out, lulled by the feel and sound of the train moving, muffled by the walls of their carriage.
He wakes up who knows how long later to the sound of singing. A deeper voice, one that carries a power to it even when it's this quiet, a lullaby voice that carries over to Joonmyun. He glances up quickly, watching Baekhyun carefully through his haze of sleep.
Baekhyun is singing to himself, headphones on and eyes trained on the window, watching the buildings of New Jersey fly by. They'll be there soon enough at this point to part their separate ways and never speak again.
Now that he's hearing Baekhyun sing however, Joonmyun is interested. Not only is he interested, he's a lot interested, hearing a quality that could rival Jongdae's, and suddenly Joonmyuns mind is filled with images. He can picture Baekhyun and Jongdae being chart rivals, the up and coming star and the old news. He shakes the thoughts out of his mind, but still continues listening to Baekhyun, nodding appreciatively.
Baekhyun wasn't kidding when he said he coud sing, and Joonmyun is having second thoughts, about his personality, about that money, about the offer. He shouldn't be stuck on the first one, shouldn't be attracted to someone who now has the potential to be his next artist, but he can't help it. Baekhyun is attractive, with his soft round face, his wide grin and and his (also soft, Joonmyun had discovered when Baekhyun poked him.) fingers.
Baekhyun turns his head, noticing Joonmyun watching him and he stops singing, entire face lighting up as he rips the headphones out, scampering over to Joonmyun.
"You heard me!" He says breathlessly, and he looks a lot less cocky right now, more nervous, jittery, voice shaking with the effort to stay level and noncommital. "How was I?"
"You're a good singer," Joonmyun admits, though begrugingly. "I would probably consider you for a company audition at least."
"Consider that my audition," Baekhyun says in a sly voice, once again draping himself too close to Joonmyun. "I can really sing for you if you give me a microphone. Blow your mind, maybe blow other things too. You won't regret it."
"What did you just say?" Joonmyun sputters, tripping over Baekhyun's words, the clear innuendo in his voice.
"You should be my co-owner and sign me," Baekhyun says, shrugging his shoulders as if it's the simplest decision Joonmyun has ever had to make. "You said it earlier. I've got the looks, and now you know I've got the talent."
Baekhyun stops, before adding, "Plus, I'm not good at all that Actual Business Stuff, and I don't know how to register a company or anything."
"Well I still have my company," Joonmyun says, voice too soft, not believing the words that are spilling from his mouth. "All I would need is a location and profit."
"I thought your company-"
"No, I still have the name. Nobody bought the company and it's mine still. I just don't have a location, artists, or equipment," Joonmyun sighs. "I lost everything, but I didn't lose my one treasure."
"That would leave us with a lot of extra money," Baekhyun says slowly, doing the math in his mind and fixing Joonmyun with a look. "A lot of extra money for promotions, equipments, rentals."
"We're not-" Joonmyun huffs at Baekhyun, backpeddling and attempting to end the conversation right there. "I'm not agreeing to anything. I'm moving to New York and I'm going to write jingles and live a quiet life."
"A quiet life, in New York?" Baekhyun scoffs, over confidence back. Joonmyun's beginning to think it's not over confidance at all, but a defense mechanism. "Please, Joonmyun. That's impossible. Live a little. It's my money and my career this time, not your pride or Jongdae. What's there to really lose from this?"
"Nothing," Joonmyun says, before frowning and speaking in a panicked voice. "A lot. There's a lot to lose. I'll have an even worse reputation if this doesn't work out, or you'll just be a struggling musician in a lot of debt by the end. It won't work out for either of us."
"You're only looking on the negative side of things," Baekhyun persists, and he's right beside Joonmyun again, eyes searching his face in agitation, and maybe something else. "Plus, when I told you to come stay with me, I didn't just mean as a guest, I meant as my roommate. You'll have somewhere to fall back to."
"I'm not sure," Joonmyun starts again. "I don't even know why we're having this conversation. You could be lying, you could be -- you're a stranger -- and it's too risky. Do you know just how many record labels there are in New York City?"
"Yes," Baekhyun snaps, looking irratated himself now, "Yes I know because I've been to every single one of them. And I've been to every single one in Pennsylvannia too. If I hadn't run out of options I wouldn't have started talking to a bankrupt and homeless producer on his way to the city for who the fuck knows what. I have nowhere else to turn to about this, you know."
"I-"
"I dropped out of school to pursue this dream and lost my parents trust. I've been using my trust fund to travel to every label in the goddamn country, I practice for 7 hours a day at a vocal school." Baekhyun continues, talking over him. "Just give me a chance. I'll make it up to. You'll see, I'll be great. Just give me a chance."
"So you only started talking to me because you knew I was a semi-famous producer." Joonmyun says, sounding unimpressed, when he's in fact very impressed by Baekhyun's speech. The same parts of his heart are being tugged, and he sees another struggle within Baekhyun, someone with the drive, with the need, talent and determination Jongdae had(has, who knows anymore).
"No I started talking to you because you were cute and you seemed nice when I dropped my luggage." Baekhyun says quickly, cheeks turning red and eyes flashing with frustration. "But when I found out you were Kim Joonmyun, I saw my last chance and I took it."
Joonmyun just nods, eyebrows furrowed and mouth slightly open, features screaming unsurity, anxiety.
"Look I'm sorry I tried," Baekhyun sighs, getting to his feet and unloading his suitcase from the compartment, he walks to the door of the carriage and shakes his head at Joonmyun. "I'll go sit in another carriage. I was just going to hit on you, not ruin your train ride."
Baekhyun opens the door, ready to leave, but something in Joonmyun snaps, and he leaps to his feet, grabbing onto Baekhyun elbow and yanking him back inside. He's breathing heavily, nervous about the decision he's yet to make. He can hear the train slowing down, almost inside the station, and he knows this needs to be quick.
"Wait. I'll do it." Joonmyun blurts out, shocked at the firmness and surity of his own voice. "Just tell me how much rent is, and we can start looking for locations."
Baekhyun looks awed, as if he never thought Joonmyun would say yes, and ten minutes ago, Joonmyun had felt the same, sure that he would be annoyed for a while and never see this kid again. Baekhyun stays there, staring at him in disbelief until the the speakers above them beep loudly, signalling their arrival.
"Well," Baekhyun says, breaking into a relieved and genuine smile, different from the sleazy ones he'd been trying to use earlier. "Like I said, you won't regret it. And if you do, you have permission to kick me onto the street and live in my apartment."
"That sounds like a fair deal," Joonmyun replies weakly, dragging his luggage behind him as they get off the train together, pausing on the platform and turning apprehensively back to Baekhyun. "So uh, where to?"
Baekhyun laughs, echoing loud in the empty station and grabs Joonmyun's free hand, dragging him to an exist as fast as he can without causing their suitcases to go tumbling. Once outside he turns back to Joonmyun.
"You sure about this?" Baekhyun says carefully, resting his suitcase on the ground and pulling out his phone. "Once I make this taxi drive there's no backing out without feeling guilty on your part, you know."
"I know," Joonmyun mutters, gripping his own luggage firmly and smiling at Baekhyun. "I'm not a spontaneous and reckless person like this at all. But the last time I made this kind of choice was when I took Jongdae under my wing."
"That turned out pretty well didn't it?" Baekhyun says and Joonmyun startles. But he doesn't hear any teasing or malice in Baekhyun's voice and he looks at him quizzically.
"Well he's a huge star, right?" Baekhyun continues, phone hanging limp in his hand and face serious. "He may have ditched you with his bad case of Diva fever, but he wouldn't be where he is today without you. And I think that says something about your spontaneous decisions."
"I-- well -- I --" Joonmyun breathes deeply, about to argue, but a voice in the back of his mind whispers to him, tells him that Baekhyun is right, that he's done long, hard work and it's paid off, all because of a little compassion years back. "You're right I guess."
"I know Im right." Baekhyun grins. "I'm always right."
"Don't make me regret it already. You're insufferable." Joonmyun bites back at him. "Call us that taxi, and I want you to bring me to an ATM. I need to see proof of this savings fund."
"Perfect. There's just one condition." Baekhyun says ominously as he punches in his pin code, eyes on the screen but voice directed at Joonmyun.
"What's that?" Joonmyun asks, mind going rampant with the worst possible scenario, but he's sighing with relief a moment later because there it is, in clear print on the machine in front of him.
Byun Baekhyun
PIN CODE: 0921
CHECK. ACC: $340
SAVINGS ACC: $54,500
TO EXIT PRESS: OK FOR MENU PRESS: 1
"You have to go on a date with me." Baekhyun says, waving his bank card in front of Joonmyun's face and leaning in close, grin in place. "You saw the numbers, I have some cash to spare for a nice dinner. Probably fancy like you successful business people are used to that."
"I thought you were hitting on me just to get me to sign you," Joonmyun says, mouth dropping open. "You actually want to-?"
"I was hitting on you because I think you're really hot," Baekhyun snorts, like it's the most obvious thing in the world, leaving Joonmyun still gaping as he spins on his heel and brings his phone to his ear, speaking quickly and quietly to the taxi service before dragging Joonmyun out a door.
"Why did you call a taxi? It's New York, can't you just-?" Joonmyun says disblieveingly as they stop outside on the cold street.
"This isn't the movies. It's like 4 in the morning, Joonmyun. They don't wait around to be waved at this time of night." Baekhyun says, voice just on the edge of condescending, and Joonmyun thinks this could be a very long and harrowing relationship if he doesn't get used to Baekhyun's personality.
"So what do you think," Baekhyun asks when the taxi pulls up a few minutes later. "About that date?"
Joonmyun slumps into the back passenger seat, looking at Baekhyun through half-asleep eyes. He grunts and shrugs his shoulders, chest squeezing with nerves at his sudden new future. If this all works out, he'll be running towards the future, not away from it.
"louder," Baekhyun jokes, poking him in the shoulder. "I didn't hear you."
"I said I'll think about," Joonmyun snaps, even though he's just done a lot of thinking on it, and he's pretty sure the answer is yes.
To all things, recklessly, stupidly, yes.