Horror Pop

Apr 26, 2015 11:41

Joonmyun/Lu Han PG-13 3617 words.
'Joonmyun is quirky and kind of too obsessed with astrology, but Lu Han will go to any lengths just to get his crush to like him back.'
I am so sorry to have created this mess. Title from the song ‘Horror Pop’ by Marina & The Diamonds. Originally written in mydeerangel



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Astrology is just a hobby, maybe even just a fleeting vague interest, brought on by the curiosity of reading a daily horoscope, laughing along joking "hey look what's going to happen to me today".

To others like Kim Joonmyun though, astrology is a passion, more than just a hobby, and he takes it very seriously. Mostly everyone lets Joonmyun indulge in his obsession, nodding along confused when he rants about Mars signs and pretending to understand what "oh my God you guys the Moon is in Libra today” even means.

Chanyeol likes to joke that Joonmyun's going to be single forever if he never finds anyone with a birth chart up to his standards, and this makes Lu Han frown.

This makes Lu Han frown a lot because he has a ridiculously huge crush on Joonmyun and their charts don't match. Joonmyun's told him so. Multiple times.

Lu Han doesn't really get astrology, and he doesn't really understand why his Moon sign supposedly makes him and Joonmyun 'horribly not compatible' because in Lu Han's mind, they are very compatible. Extremely compatible. Soulmates even.

Joonmyun it seems, either really doesn't like Lu Han or is completely oblivious, constantly telling him that Lu Han should date Minseok instead of him because "look your planets match up, you guys are perfect"

Lu Han really doesn't agree. That would be like dating his own mother, and that is one thing he's really not into.

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"Minseeeeeoook."

"No, Lu Han, not today. I'm not hearing. Be gone."

Minseok's answer to Lu Han flopping across his lap unannounced and uninvited is short and frank, an answer he always gives his best friend and roommate when Lu Han gets so annoying Minseok can't deal with him anymore.

"Minseok, Joonmyun wouldn't let me hug him today because apparently people with Aquarius in their charts are bad omens. Is this a nice way of him rejecting me or is he just weird? I can't tell anymore." Lu Han's whining is exceptionally annoying today, grating on Minseok's nerves and he shoves Lu Han off of him, watching the boy land with an ungraceful thump on the floor, satisfactory grin spreading across his face.

"He hates you. Give up. Go away. I have an essay to write."

"What essay is more important than my love life Minseok?" Lu Han scowls, looking rumpled and grumpy, and Minseok can't help but to reach out and ruffle his friends hair condescendingly.

"All of them Lu Han, all of them."

Lu Han turns on the dramatic pouting and clutches his chest, sparkle eyes at 100% as he looks up at Minseok from the floor.

"Minseok please just hear me out, I don't know what to do anymore. He doesn't even notice my existence. I'm never going to get to bear his children."

Minseok blinks down at him, lips set in a thin, unamused line, and he shakes his head, letting Lu Han's words sink in before letting out a barking laugh.

"Lu Han you're a man, you can't bear children."

"I can try." Lu Han retorts, rubbing his stomach defensively. "Science has come a long way you know.

Minseok throws his hands in the air, having given up on even trying to decipher Lu Han's mind at this point, and grabs his laptop off the table, walking out of the room at such a swift pace that Lu Han can’t even follow him.

Instead, Lu Han sits on the floor completely dejected, because now, not only has Joonmyun rejected his efforts for the nth time, Minseok also probably hates him. (At least for the night.)

This of course, doesn't stop Lu Han from plotting more ways to convince Joonmyun of his love, and he pulls up the Oha Asa* webpage gleefully, checking the list of the signs lucky items for the day, struggling through with his awful Japanese until he finds Gemini's. Well, he at least thinks it's Gemini's.

Lu Han glances at the lucky item itself and smirks. This is going to be way easy.

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It turns out to not be way easy to obtain a bunny suit, especially when said owner of the bunny suit is frowning at him over a latte, and looking mildly concerned.

"Why do you want my bunny suit?" Yixing asks slowly, as if he's misheard Lu Han's question, as if Lu Han has actually grown an extra head, but Lu Han just nods enthusiastically, giving Yixing a dangerous smile that has Yixing more than mildly concerned now. "Why do you need my bunny suit?"

"It's Gemini's lucky item today so I'm going to wear it and be Joonmyun's lucky item!" Lu Han says, like his idea is absolutely foolproof and amazing, and not intensely ridiculous.

"Lu Han." Yixing's voice is still slow, very mellow, and Lu Han tilts his head in that way he does when he think he's being cute. He isn't. "Why don't you just tell Joonmyun you like him?"

Lu Han gasps, looking scandalized, and frantically shakes his head, golden brown hair flopping about and landing in his eyes.

"I can't just tell him. Don't be absurd Yixing." He says, fiddling with his straw nervously, and Yixing feels a bit of pity for the pathetic boy in front of him, sighing.

"Okay, fine. You can use the bunny suit. I just have to -- uhm -- wash it first."

Lu Han just blinks at him, tilting his head slightly in a way that says 'you're being really weird and I have a feeling this is going be good' and asks innocently.

"Why do you have to wash it Xing?"

Yixing blushes furiously, scratching the back of neck nervously and mutters something Lu Han can't quite hear, but Lu Han simple leans over the table of the Starbucks they're sitting in and pokes Yixing on the nose. "Spill your secrets little rabbit."

"Jongdae really likes it." Yixing mutters, a little louder this time, but still ridiculously quiet and Lu Han roars in laughter, face distorting into something so ugly Yixing has to glance around the place nervously to make sure no one catches him with this lunatic.

"You guys use a bunny suit for kinky things?" Lu Han says, incredulous and Yixing stands up, waving him off.

"I'll give you the suit if you like, never say anything about this, ever." Yixing says, narrowing his eyes in a way that's supposed to be threatening but only looks cute to Lu Han, who pokes his nose again and grins.

"Thanks Xing-Xing, you're the one."

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The bunny suit idea it seems, goes horribly, when upon seeing Lu Han, Joonmyun bursts into laughter, wiping his eyes dramatically, smiling wide and informing Lu Han in a very serious voice that rabbits are Libra's lucky item not Gemini's, and dismissing him from his room, saying he has a very important essay to complete that evening.

Lu Han is completely crushed, stomping to Yixing's to throw the suit at him, though not missing the glint in Jongdae's eyes at the words 'lucky item' and 'Libra' and he shudders to know what they'll get up to in his absence.

Arriving at his apartment, it only takes one look at Minseok to know the other boy isn't going to put up with his shit tonight, and he shuffles to his room, pouting and whining, collapsing face down on the bed and muttering his woes into his pillow.

The thing is, despite his theatrics, and his silly ways of trying to get Joonmyun's attention, Lu Han really does like the boy. He loves the way his eyes crinkle when he laughs and his soft cheeks and his passion for what he's into, even if doesn't really make sense.

It's while he's crying into his pillow that Lu Han gets an idea. A beautiful, wonderful miraculous idea, and he leaves the apartment quietly and swiftly, avoiding Minseok's curious gaze at the late hour, and skipping down the stairs completely elated.

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Sneaking into Joonmyun’s dorm room is easy. Lu Han’s totally done it before, having spent many a night crashed on Joonmyun’s floor, waking up to the younger boy glaring at him over the edge of his bed, but also willingly rolling over to let Lu Han sleep; refusing to share a blanket with him.
Lu Han takes advantage of just that, unlocking the door quietly and shuffling over to the desk, checking on Joonmyun to make sure he is indeed, fast asleep. Lu Han spends a bit too long grinning at his adorable sleeping figure, wishing he could just reach out and brush the hair away from Joonmyun’s face, wishing he could just crawl into bed beside him, burrow under the covers and into his body.

But of course, Lu Han can’t, and this motivates him to do his task, whipping open Joonmyun’s computer to find his files for the school newspaper. He giggles to himself quietly as he swiftly makes a few changes to the daily horoscope.

{GEMINI ~ May 21st-June 21st THE TWINS.
Today, my dear Gemini, you will see the love of your life gazing up at you first thing in the morning. Act upon this chance and receive great fortune. They are amazing. Lucky colour; BLUE Lucky Item; A deer.}

Lu Han sits back in Joonmyun’s office chair, and looks around his room, spotless for the giant pile of clothes at the foot of the bed. He feels a sense of great pride; this horoscope is perfect, and all Lu han has to do is sleep on the floor. It’s a good enough sacrifice to get Joonmyun to like him back.

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Lu Han wakes up to discover two things. One, his back is killing him, and two Joonmyun is - not surprisingly - hovering over the side of his bed, frowning down at Lu Han. The younger boy sighs, motioning silently for Lu Han to sleep in his bed. Lu Han happily complies, reaching for the thinner and much colder blanket he always uses when he stays here but today Joonmyun just shakes his head, too tired to talk with the sun not even up, and lifts up the blanket.
Lu Han is shocked, but crawls underneath anyways, heart hammering in his chest as he tries carefully not to move too close to his crush, staring wide eyed at the back of Joonmyun’s head. He pretends to be asleep quickly, closing his eyes and attempting to even out his breathing, but gets another shock in the form of Joonmyun turning towards him and throwing a hand over his waist. Lu Han’s eyes snap open, and he’s greeted with Joonmyun’s sleepy smiling face.

“Hi.” Joonmyun says, hoarse from sleep, and Lu Han shivers at the way it sounds.

“Hi?” Lu Han tentatively whispers back, confusion apparent in his voice.

“I think we’re close enough to properly share a bed by now, don’t you think?” Joonmyun replies to the greeting, and Lu Han nearly sputters.

“You think we’re close?”

“Well of course we’re close.” Joonmyun sounds a little more awake now, and he furrows his eyebrows, eyes seeming to sparkle in the dim light from the moon. Lu Han swallows, a nervous habit of his. “We’ve known each other for how long? I mean really you’re in once a week I can’t make you sleep on the cold side of the bed forever.”

Joonmyun sounds sincere, and he shifts closer to Lu Han, hand tightening around his waist and closes his eyes. “Have a good sleep Lu Han.”

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A couple of hours later when Lu Han wakes up, he almost forgets the exciting turn of events from the night before, and he startles to find Joonmyun’s face inches from his, and a leg thrown over his own. He tries to calm the beating of his heart, sure Joonmyun can probably hear it even in his sleep, and attempts to get comfortable. Neither of them have early morning classes and don’t need to be awake for at least another four hours, and Lu Han plans on taking advantage of this fact.

He carefully moves even closer to Joonmyun, hesitating slightly before burrowing into Joonmyun’s chest, letting out a breath of relief when Joonmyun doesn’t wake up. In fact, the other boy seems to hold on tighter, and Lu Han grins into Joonmyun’s shirt in triumph. He can’t wait to tell Minseok of his success later.

Lu Han doesn’t fall back asleep, and he just lays there, curled into Joonmyun. He listens to the quiet breathing, enjoying the rise and fall of Joonmyun’s chest, and absently wonders what place Aries is in today. Lu Han giggles out loud at this thought, realizing the influence the Astrology fiend has actually had on him, and accidentally wakes Joonmyun up.

Joonmyun groans, hand falling from Lu Han’s waist as he blinks the sleep out of his eyes, and Lu Han gets even more surprises. He’s expecting Joonmyun to push him away, complaining about his closeness or even mention their non compatibility again, but instead Lu Han feels a gentle hand land in his hair. If he was a cat he would be purring right now, completely over the moon at the feel Joonmyun’s fingers threading carefully through the strands, and Lu Han grins. He knows how soft his hair is, uses a million products for it and hopes Joonmyun likes it.

“Were you giggling in your sleep?” Joonmyun mutters, not stopping his task until Lu Han pulls back sheepishly, feeling a blush creep up his neck.

“Uhm no I was awake.” He admits, biting his lip nervously, feeling his previous courage wane. But Joonmyun just laughs, a beautiful sound to Lu Han who blushes furiously. He tries to pull away but Joonmyun reels him in.

“You’re not going anywhere.” Joonmyun laughs. “Why were you giggling?”

“I woke up wondering what place I was in.” Lu Han pouts at Joonmyun, reaching out and poking him in the chest. “It’s your fault. You’ve influenced me in bad ways.”

Joonmyun laughs again, still beautiful but louder this time, and he releases Lu Han, sitting up and shaking his head, looking all kinds of rumpled and cute. Lu Han assumes he most definitely does not look that adorable right after waking up and he pouts harder, wrapping Joonmyun’s starry night comforter around himself, effectively becoming a cocoon.

Joonmyun is still laughing and Lu Han wishes he would stop. It’s making his heart skip beats and his cheeks burn. Lu Han is working on becoming one with the wall when Joonmyun leaps out of his bed to go to his computer, tripping over one of his many piles of clothes in the process and falling unattractively into his desk with a grunt.

“I’m okay!” He yelps before Lu Han can launch himself off the bed and at him in concern. Joonmyun falls silent as he sits down and Lu Han can recognize the familiar Oha Asa webpage, one he’s painfully tried to translate many times, and he frowns because Joonmyun is fluent in Japanese. How dare he become even more perfect by the day.

“You’re in first today!” Joonmyun calls over to him excitedly, and Lu Han feels a grin form on his face. So that’s why his night was so lucky. “Oh look! I’m in second.”

Joonmyun fiddles around a bit more, and Lu Han finds himself just watching him fondly, head resting on his knee and just taking this chance to study the other boy. Even the back of his head is kind of entrancing to Lu Han and the Chinese boy finds himself dozing off like this, knees brought up to his chest and blanket falling off his shoulders as he leans against the wall.

His attention is brought back by Joonmyun snapping at someone on the phone, and Lu Han blinks sleepily at the boy, watching him swivel in his chair. He can hear a whine of ‘hyung’ through the phone and Lu Han smirks a little, recognizing the voice of Oh Sehun, Joonmyun’s younger brother.

When Joonmyun’s off the phone he gets up and collapses onto the bed and looks at Lu Han upside down, looking distressed.

“I hate Aries.” Joonmyun says dramatically, and Lu Han makes a whining noise at him.

“Hey I’m an Aries.” He complains, waving his hands and Joonmyun chuckles.

“Especially Aries with Aquarius moons.” Joonmyun says, rolling over so Lu Han can stretch out his legs. Lu Han sucks in a breath when Joonmyun drapes himself across said legs stretching like a cat.

“I have one of those don’t I?” Lu Han crosses his arms. “Don’t be mean when you’re using me as a pillow.”

Joonmyun chooses this moment to turn towards Lu Han, wrapping his arms around Lu Han’s middle under the blankets, making himself more comfortable and he gazes up at Lu Han curiously.

“You changed the horoscope didn’t you?” He says accusingly. Lu Han squawks, trying to blurt out a denial but Joonmyun reaches up, placing a finger on his lips. “I take great offense to that you know. You can’t just change what the stars say, Lu.”

“I’m sorry.” Lu Han stutters, trying once again to melt into the wall, but Joonmyun sits up, and they end up in a rather strange position with Joonmyun basically straddling Lu Han. The older boy squeaks, placing his hands on Joonmyun’s chest to push him away, but Joonmyun doesn’t move.

“Lu Han do you like me?” Joonmyun asks, leaning in too close and Lu Han giggles nervously.

“Well no shit.” He says, feeling brave and Joonmyun leans back, looking thoughtful.

“I thought so, but I wasn’t sure. you know at first I thought you were doing all this just to mess with me, but then I realized it might be something completely different.” Joonmyun eyes him appraisingly. “I guess I was right wasn’t I?”

“I was trying to get your attention.” Lu Han mutters and goes to stutter out another apology but Joonmyun shushes him, placing a hand on his shoulder.

“Why didn’t you just tell me?” Joonmyun asks. “Why go through all this effort just to get my attention. You already have that.”

“That’s what Yixing said.” Lu Han replies, missing the undertone of Joonmyun’s words and tries to push him off again. He needs to get out of here before he embarrasses himself further. Oha Asa was wrong, he’s definitely not in first place, he’s in last.

“Well Yixing was right.” Joonmyun muses, before placing his other hand on Lu Han’s opposite shoulder and smiling gently at him. “You know I”ve liked you for a while Lu Han. All you had to do was say something.”

Lu Han freezes, eyes widening and just gapes at the boy in front of him.

“W-what?” Lu Han’s heart rate is wild, and he’s sure he’s probably panting with stress but Joonmyun just calmly pushes Lu Han’s bed hair from his face, leaning in too close again. “But you told me to date Minseok.”
“I was joking, silly. Do you think I let just anyone crash in my dorm overnight or harass me when I’m trying to study. I also hate sharing blankets.” Joonmyun’s eyes are boring into his, and Lu Han feels like he’s being studied, but all Joonmyun does is cup Lu Han’s jaw gently, only hesitating a second before Lu Han feels a soft pair of lips connect with his own.

It’s a little awkward, with Lu Han staying frozen too long, and Joonmyun pulling back slightly, as if doubting himself, but then Lu Han throws his arms around Joonmyun’s neck, pulling him flush against him, locking their lips together messy in his haste. It’s an innocent affair, lips moving shyly together until Lu Han parts his lips to breathe and Joonmyun takes a chance, sweeping his tongue into Lu Han’s mouth and dragging it across his teeth, enticing a shudder out of Lu Han.

When he’d snuck into Joonmyun’s room the last thing he’d expected was this and Lu Han can’t help but grin as he mimics Joonmyun’s actions, sliding his tongue across the roof of the other boy’s mouth and lets himself be pushed down onto Joonmyun’s bed.

Fuck the stars, Joonmyun tastes a hell of a lot better than any magical horoscope could ever try to top.

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Minseok hopes, no he prays that Lu Han finally getting laid will stop his constant whining, but instead he’s granted something worse. He finds himself locked in the bathroom with his laptop, the one place he can avoid Lu Han’s endless ranting about how the page on Gemini’s definitely didn’t tell him that Joonmyun was that good with his hands.

Fuck Astrology man.

Oha Asa is a Japanese morning news channel with a section on Zodiac signs. The signs are places 1-12 in order of the ‘luckiest’ sign of the day. The signs also have a lucky colour, and lucky item of the day.
Moon signs control emotions, so whatever sign the moon is in that day controls the overall emotional mood.
Joonmyun is a Gemini, Lu Han, Minseok and Sehun are Aries, Yixing is a Libra, and Jongdae is a Virgo.

suho, lu han, suhan, pg-13, joonmyun

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