(no subject)
I'm so horribly oddly emotional right now. I could blame it on hormones and the fact that I'm menstrual and all that, but it's more than that. So much is happening and changing in my life right now. I mean, it's not exactly the typical college student parties and boys type thing (probably why a "friend" of my quite enjoyed telling me that she has a life right now while I apparently don't) but it's all thrown me off-balance in a big way.
My tio Fili got a headache at work on Friday, then he had a fit/seizure and ended up in the hospital with an unexplained mass in his brain. He went into surgery on Tuesday to find that he had a brain tumor. It's cancerous and malignant. The doctors couldn't get all of it out because it had spread farther than they had expected. we went to go see him in the hospital on Sunday and again today. He's doing incredibly well for a man who had brain surgery two days ago. He just looks tired. It's scary to think that two weekends ago he was here at my house and other than finding him a huge nuisance all I could think was "poor guy, my tia has him rather henpecked." My tia keeps saying that he doesn't understand the seriousness of his condition but from what I can see he's just trying to be strong. He goes a bit fuzzy sometimes and he's rather bad at keeping track of the date but he's doing well.
The whole situation just scares and worries me. It also doesn't help that Amon, the grumpy old man next door, has a rapidly spreading case of lung cancer and John, an old boss of my dad's (the one that offered me a job when I was 12), has a brain tumor and lung cancer in addition to having had an unrelated minor stroke recently. These are people that have been parts of my life ever since I can remember. Amon is really posessive of his driveway, I remember learning to ride my brand new bike in that driveway and being told to be careful of the oil puddles so I couldn't track anything onto his driveway. He and his wife had a poodle that I loved when I was little and I'd talk to them when I'd go over to their fence to pet the dog. He's always been a grumpy old man... but that's the thing, he's always been there.
John has always been the kooky old guy that calls my dad no matter what different companies they end up at, and they've been many and varied throughout the years. He's the guy that gave me my first job offer for being a cute precocious 12-year-old that was quicker on the uptake than his apprentices.
I mean, it's not like it's hitting me as hard as my grandfather's death (which hit me like a ton of bricks, no matter what people say about me not seeming close to him I loved him so much) that I still get teary eyed over at the randomest times. It's just that I worry. I worry about how life is fleeting and how it all changes so quickly. I worry that something will happen to my father. I can't bear the thought of anything happening to my dad.
i worry about the fact that my parents are leaving to go live in Mexico in the next couple of weeks. I won't have my parents to count on anymore an that's a huge push towards independence. More than myself I wonder how he's going to adjust to living in Mexico and hope that he doesn't get caught up in the petty bickering in the family. I just want him to rest because he deserves that for once in his life.
I'm worried about so many things...
I may not have a life by anyone else's standards and they can make fun of that all they want... but I feel better knowing that this summer I've spent time with my parents and I know that they love me and I love them and in the end that's more important than parties or booze or boys... you never know when god is going to take away the life he's given you so make sure you appreciate people while they're still around to know about it.
My tio Fili got a headache at work on Friday, then he had a fit/seizure and ended up in the hospital with an unexplained mass in his brain. He went into surgery on Tuesday to find that he had a brain tumor. It's cancerous and malignant. The doctors couldn't get all of it out because it had spread farther than they had expected. we went to go see him in the hospital on Sunday and again today. He's doing incredibly well for a man who had brain surgery two days ago. He just looks tired. It's scary to think that two weekends ago he was here at my house and other than finding him a huge nuisance all I could think was "poor guy, my tia has him rather henpecked." My tia keeps saying that he doesn't understand the seriousness of his condition but from what I can see he's just trying to be strong. He goes a bit fuzzy sometimes and he's rather bad at keeping track of the date but he's doing well.
The whole situation just scares and worries me. It also doesn't help that Amon, the grumpy old man next door, has a rapidly spreading case of lung cancer and John, an old boss of my dad's (the one that offered me a job when I was 12), has a brain tumor and lung cancer in addition to having had an unrelated minor stroke recently. These are people that have been parts of my life ever since I can remember. Amon is really posessive of his driveway, I remember learning to ride my brand new bike in that driveway and being told to be careful of the oil puddles so I couldn't track anything onto his driveway. He and his wife had a poodle that I loved when I was little and I'd talk to them when I'd go over to their fence to pet the dog. He's always been a grumpy old man... but that's the thing, he's always been there.
John has always been the kooky old guy that calls my dad no matter what different companies they end up at, and they've been many and varied throughout the years. He's the guy that gave me my first job offer for being a cute precocious 12-year-old that was quicker on the uptake than his apprentices.
I mean, it's not like it's hitting me as hard as my grandfather's death (which hit me like a ton of bricks, no matter what people say about me not seeming close to him I loved him so much) that I still get teary eyed over at the randomest times. It's just that I worry. I worry about how life is fleeting and how it all changes so quickly. I worry that something will happen to my father. I can't bear the thought of anything happening to my dad.
i worry about the fact that my parents are leaving to go live in Mexico in the next couple of weeks. I won't have my parents to count on anymore an that's a huge push towards independence. More than myself I wonder how he's going to adjust to living in Mexico and hope that he doesn't get caught up in the petty bickering in the family. I just want him to rest because he deserves that for once in his life.
I'm worried about so many things...
I may not have a life by anyone else's standards and they can make fun of that all they want... but I feel better knowing that this summer I've spent time with my parents and I know that they love me and I love them and in the end that's more important than parties or booze or boys... you never know when god is going to take away the life he's given you so make sure you appreciate people while they're still around to know about it.