One Year Post
I actually wrote this yesterday, so I could post it this morning before school on the official one-year anniversary of Hurricane Katrina. I've been trying to think of something to say for about a month now, because I've known it was coming and it was staring me down.
You knew this was coming, right? For a while I considered not saying anything, ( Read more... )
You knew this was coming, right? For a while I considered not saying anything, ( Read more... )
It's amazing how significant one little sentence can be. But for some reason, I just can't seem to get this one out of my head and every time something horrible or wonderful happens, I think of it.
"This too shall pass."
Everything will eventually be over. That's not a surreal fantasy, that's a fact. Every truly bad person, every truly good person, everyone, will eventually die. Events will end, tyrants will fall, tragedies will loose their impact. Erica, I can't measure the amount you've changed in the past year. Just as you can't measure quite how much time has past since all your glow stars were in their rightful places. We keep looking back at our mistakes and faults and virtues, but in the end they all mean nothing. They mean nothing because they've already happened and their impact has been left on us. It's already past, and it should stay there. Katrina's already happened and wondering about how it's affected you... well... It's not worth it. Putting your past life and current life on a scale and trying to judge how you've grown or shrunk and how you could be different just adds to your worries. Don't think about whether you'd change Katrina, because you can't. You're needlessly taking responsibility for something that was way out of your, or anyone's, control. Katrina did happen, and eventually people will forget about it. It won't be part of your daily conversation, you won't think about it every time you go out, it will pass. That's not a surreal fantasy, that's a fact. And yes New Orleans has changed, and so have you, but it's unavoidable. Tragedy happens, it does and there's no way to escape it. But you've carried yourself brilliantly, no matter what you say to the contrary. And in all of your posts, I've been able to feel your sadness and frustration and... bitterness. But you've held a tremendous amount of hope together. This has been one year of your life. That may seem like a long time, but it really isn't. Remember when walking three blocks felt more like three miles? Or the adult sized portion felt like eating a whole elephant? We get older and what was once huge suddenly feels small.
There's no way that I can just tell you to be happy and not worry. Because I know that you're going to worry anyways. It's natural, and you love New Orleans and its residents so much that you'll never stop worrying about them. Really Erica, how 'bout toning down the love? But I can tell you that you can't worry about the past. You can try and make it better and live up to the things that you've done, but you won't be able to change them. Worrying about how you sounded and acted... there's no point, because no one will hold it against you. And if they do, I'll punch them in the face because they have no right to judge you when you were going through that. Everyone reacts differently and you reacted the way you did and that's normal and human and NO ONE is allowed to ask anything more from you.
Then one day when you've got your own kids, you'll tell them about Katrina and they'll be uninterested and probably make some offensive jokes about it that will cheapen everything that went on. And suddenly it'll hit you that Katrina's over. Kids who make jokes about Hitler certainly don't realize the significance of what they're saying. Because everything passes in time and you and New Orleans will keep changing and life will continue.
Erica, I care very dearly for you and you've made me smile so many times when I was positive I'd never be happy again. I can only hope that somewhere along the way I've done the least little bit to return the favor. It pains and upsets me to see you tearing yourself up like this.
I hope that you do continue changing and growing and becoming even more of a wonderful person then you already are. I just hope that you let me watch it all happen. *Hugs*
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