(no subject)
I got to hang out with matt and jess tonight...... i love that, and i miss not hanging out with them at lunch time still, which is odd since i haveen't eaten lunch with the two of them in almost two years now but still halfway home the nostalgia sets in and it's odd but whatever. Jess and I had good girl talk time as always and the three of us saw the movie closer wich is so odd but so good. tomorrow morning I am having breakfast with maggie which also means that my drive to oregon will either be good because maggie and i at least talked about things or it will be bad and full of crying becuase things were left on a bad note with her. I hope it all ends up being a good thing but at the same time i wonder about it. part of me wants so stand up for myself and say i deserve better friends then you, people who will treat me better and not treat me like i'm never good enough for you. but the other part of me, the part that always wins in the maggie battles in my life that says just let it go have a good time and let her just come to her senses. she never does and everytime i just get treated worse and worse... so why do I take it? why does candace take it? what is it about maggie that makes us hold on everytime, i think maybe it's that she;s still the only really good friend from childhood that we still both have kind of a security blanket. Whatever the things she said about me make me angry and make me want to prove to her otherwise but i don't really think it's worth my time, especially when she's aleady set in her ways and opinions and those that know me best know me better then to believe the things she does. I'll go to breakfast with no masks and no pre determined intentions, but just as myself, the good friend I have always been to her and weather she choses to embrace that or not it is up to her. that is all have a good night kids, and happy new year :)!
<3m
<3m