"on Monday I am waiting and by Tuesday I am fading into your arms, where I can breath"

[fairygirlxox]

sometimes I wonder why I even try to rekindle the friendships I have at home after I have been away for a while. I mean ther are a couple I know are fine and there is no need to worry...... so I went to the orthdontist and ther are no problems there, then I figured that I would go surprise my two supposed best friends at home.... Candace wasn't home no big deal, so I drove to Maggies and she was home and when she saw me she didn't even seem happy to see me she gave me maybe half of a hug and just said "hi." I tried to talk to her and make comnveration but after about 5 min it seemed kind of pointless to pry into her perfect white picket fence life, after all I am not one that belongs behind a white picket fence and nowhere near one for that matter. The part I don't understand though is if her biggest fear was me finding someone to replace her then why did she let it happen? I made so many efforts so many times to keep in touch, to visit, etc. but she just .... didn't. so after a year I let it go and it makes me sad that we will never be able to be like we once were... I don't mind the change so much because I do feel that the people that she feel "replaced" her are better friends, they care, and they're there for me, she's gotten selfesh and only calls when it will benifit her, she says "yeah, uh huh, ok" in such a way that it's obvious that she's not remotly interested... so why should I be.

I think I am going to get paid to take care of my aunts kids, should be fun times, I can take them to cool places and get paid for it.

anyway I hope all is well!

<3mer