Deliberate Discoveries
With his friends, he was never sure if they really knew the full extent of his powers though. He doubted they were aware that he knew most of them better than they knew themselves. The only person who he wasn’t absolutely positive he knew down to every nuance and every secret was Gackt, and he was still certain he knew the man better than anyone else. Gackt had just had many years of practice at hiding the things he wanted hidden, and their relationship was such that they never pressed each other for anything, had never needed to. Still, Hyde felt he was good at reading subtle changes in his friend’s demeanor.
It was, sadly, also this talent that had ultimately led to his divorce. He’d been all too aware of the subtle changes in his relationship with Megumi but, even seeing the signs, had no way of stopping them, wasn’t certain he wanted them stopped. When he’d finally confronted her on what he’d known for so long, there was nothing to do except file for the divorce and keep it together as much as they could for Akio’s sake.
Ah, his poor little Akio… he could tell already that his son had his talent for observation, and his brave little boy was so wise about it all. The worst of the whole thing was that Hyde barely saw him anymore.
The divorce, as divorces tend to do, temporarily dulled his senses. He did little but curl up on the couch with Gackt and stare into the fireplace or cry himself to sleep over the failed marriage. He wasn’t sure how his friends had put up with him but they’d all been remarkably patient. Gackt, especially, never denied him the comfort he craved.
When the ache had started to fade, he discovered that Gackt’s house had become much more of a home to him than his quiet and lonely apartment. Hardly a day passed when he didn’t see his close friend. Even as he healed, when he was back to writing songs and working himself silly and laughing like he used to, he didn’t stop visiting his friend’s house. Gacchan was always the first person he told anything to, the first person to share in his triumphs, and his falls. And he never complained.
Something was different about his friend though. He’d been around Gackt so long, had grown so used to the easy affection and soft smiles from his friend, that he almost missed the shift completely. Almost, but not quite.
There was… pain in Gacchan’s eyes when he would look at Hyde sometimes. Always fleeting, and almost always washed away completely by the warmth there that was meant only for those closest and dearest to the very private man. The first time he’d seen that flickering pain, he’d brushed it off, but then he saw it a second time. When he saw it a third he quickly settled on paying much more attention to his long time friend.
He spent weeks covertly watching him, noticing the way he would every so often lean a little closer to him, how his fingers might linger a little too long against his arm or his lips might linger against his cheek when they embraced. The details were so soft, so small that he could allow himself to admit he’d simply been missing them for a long while now.
When the pieces finally clicked into place, he was sitting on the couch in Gackt’s house with a book propped up on his knees, idly reading as he was mostly occupied with his new favorite hobby of Gacchan watching. He had to be careful, as he’d dipped into blatant staring a few times, making Gackt give him some highly amusing but strange looks, hence the book his was currently reading. Gackt was mostly relaxed today, his calm exterior a reflection of the serenity inside rather than a mask and, to Hyde, he seemed happy, content.
He smiled a little and shifted to make his ‘reading’ easier. His eyes ghosted over the familiar features, lingering a moment longer than he meant to before he dropped his gaze back down to the book on vampires he was reading. Heh, vampires, gods Moon Child had been a blast, even it had been ridiculously hot. Back then it seemed like the two rock stars had not a care in the world, making a movie because Gacchan wanted to, writing a song together, doing exactly as young people with talent should do.
He smiled and let his mind run over memories of that time, not of the shooting itself so much, but of the time off screen. Riding that silly motorbike to try and show off for his friend, joking and playing around with the rest of the cast despite the language barriers.
He loved most the nights when Gacchan and he had just sat together, working on the song and reading over the script. He grinned a little to himself, remembering that one time, the one the reporters loved, when he’d woken to find his friend hovering over him, telling him a moment later that he’d been about to kiss him! Gah, Gacchan, you never really knew what to expect in being friends with him, sometimes he could be really… out of the… blue.
Hyde swallowed a little and glanced back up at Gackt as he wet his lip, filing that one little occasion in with everything he had gathered in his head over the last few weeks. He swallowed lightly. Maybe he was jumping to conclusions? Surely with Gackt it really could have been a harmless, in the moment, sort of thing, right? He bit his lip, before looking back to find Gackt watching him.
“Is something the matter Haido?” Came his friends gentle voice, a small hint of concern laced with the bemusement he saw in his face.
Hyde grinned and chuckled softly. “Nah, this vampire book just had me thinking back to Taiwan… Moon Child,” he said with a soft fond smile.
He watched a similar look of fondness cross the younger singer’s face before that touch of bemusement returned. “But you were frowning Haido, surely your memories weren’t unpleasant... unless of course you were remembering the heat,” he said with just that hint of a teasing smile.
Hyde flushed lightly and wrinkled his nose at him, “It was bloody hot, and I don’t find it as funny as you all seemed to.” He said, sticking his tongue out at him before grinning a little, “Meh, do you remember that one time though, when you said you wanted to kiss me?” He asked offhandedly, very carefully gauging Gackt’s reactions. “The fans had a field day when you told the press about that one.”
Gackt smiled a little but it didn’t reach catch his eyes as the faintest of flushes crossed over his cheeks. “Ah yea, fanservice is such an amusing thing,” he murmured and turned back to what he was doing, Hyde only just catching the small swallow and the way Gackt’s shoulders had tightened just slightly.
“Yea, amusing…” he murmured gently in agreement. Wetting his lip, Hyde took a slow breath and pulled his legs up closer, eyes staring blankly at the book as he went about processing this new information.
Deciding how one felt when discovering their best friend was in love with them, seemed like a difficult task, but really that was the easy part. Hyde disregarded it as an issue almost immediately. It was silly to even consider that this might have a negative impact on their relationship. Gacchan had obviously kept it to himself because he valued their friendship, and Hyde’s previous marriage. However, Hyde knew that seeing as his friend had never tried to push the feelings, there was really nothing about them that he found uncomfortable. No, he was flattered, at the very least, and had no intention of letting it come between them.
Deciding how he felt in return was, of course, a very different matter. He loved Gackt, he knew that, hell, almost everyone knew that, but it had always been the love between friends. Now though, he was wondering if it might be more. He knew that Gackt made him more comfortable than anyone else he knew, and his friend had the most remarkable ability to make him feel singularly important while keeping him humble and grounded at the same time. But could that ever translate into passion?
He knew that testing his own reactions would be decidedly unfair to his friend, but he needed to know before he could consider confronting Gackt about it. He was subtle though, first just observing his friend in a slightly different manner. Letting his eyes slide over Gactk’s frame while his friend’s attention was diverted so he could mentally picture that firm physique that hid under the surface, brushing past him in the kitchen just so and letting himself feel the shiver that slid down his spine when he did it, or simply letting his eyes slide over those perfect lips and wondering what they would feel like against his own.
It wasn’t long before he started letting his mind drift to his friend while he was in the shower, when he lay in his bed just before sleeping at night, when he woke in the morning. It didn’t take long at all for him to discover his body very much liked where his mind was taking them, and his dreams grew increasingly heated to the point that on some mornings, Hyde would flush just lightly at catching his friend’s eyes over their morning coffee.
It wasn’t until he finally had a dream that really shook him that Hyde knew. He woke gasping and shaking softly because, while the dream had indeed held the heat that the others did…, it wasn’t about two bodies seeking mutual completion. It was about so much more than that, about two souls wanting to reach out and join together, and it had Hyde’s heart aching in his chest as he discovered just how much he longed for that intimacy with Gacchan... Gackt.
Calming down from the dream he let himself process it all and in the jumble of his thoughts one settled bright and clear: Hyde wanted Gackt, and he was going to make sure he got exactly what he wanted.
Part Three to come soon if you tell me you want it ;-)
Edit: Ready for more? Well part three is up, check out: The Heart of the Matter
It was, sadly, also this talent that had ultimately led to his divorce. He’d been all too aware of the subtle changes in his relationship with Megumi but, even seeing the signs, had no way of stopping them, wasn’t certain he wanted them stopped. When he’d finally confronted her on what he’d known for so long, there was nothing to do except file for the divorce and keep it together as much as they could for Akio’s sake.
Ah, his poor little Akio… he could tell already that his son had his talent for observation, and his brave little boy was so wise about it all. The worst of the whole thing was that Hyde barely saw him anymore.
The divorce, as divorces tend to do, temporarily dulled his senses. He did little but curl up on the couch with Gackt and stare into the fireplace or cry himself to sleep over the failed marriage. He wasn’t sure how his friends had put up with him but they’d all been remarkably patient. Gackt, especially, never denied him the comfort he craved.
When the ache had started to fade, he discovered that Gackt’s house had become much more of a home to him than his quiet and lonely apartment. Hardly a day passed when he didn’t see his close friend. Even as he healed, when he was back to writing songs and working himself silly and laughing like he used to, he didn’t stop visiting his friend’s house. Gacchan was always the first person he told anything to, the first person to share in his triumphs, and his falls. And he never complained.
Something was different about his friend though. He’d been around Gackt so long, had grown so used to the easy affection and soft smiles from his friend, that he almost missed the shift completely. Almost, but not quite.
There was… pain in Gacchan’s eyes when he would look at Hyde sometimes. Always fleeting, and almost always washed away completely by the warmth there that was meant only for those closest and dearest to the very private man. The first time he’d seen that flickering pain, he’d brushed it off, but then he saw it a second time. When he saw it a third he quickly settled on paying much more attention to his long time friend.
He spent weeks covertly watching him, noticing the way he would every so often lean a little closer to him, how his fingers might linger a little too long against his arm or his lips might linger against his cheek when they embraced. The details were so soft, so small that he could allow himself to admit he’d simply been missing them for a long while now.
When the pieces finally clicked into place, he was sitting on the couch in Gackt’s house with a book propped up on his knees, idly reading as he was mostly occupied with his new favorite hobby of Gacchan watching. He had to be careful, as he’d dipped into blatant staring a few times, making Gackt give him some highly amusing but strange looks, hence the book his was currently reading. Gackt was mostly relaxed today, his calm exterior a reflection of the serenity inside rather than a mask and, to Hyde, he seemed happy, content.
He smiled a little and shifted to make his ‘reading’ easier. His eyes ghosted over the familiar features, lingering a moment longer than he meant to before he dropped his gaze back down to the book on vampires he was reading. Heh, vampires, gods Moon Child had been a blast, even it had been ridiculously hot. Back then it seemed like the two rock stars had not a care in the world, making a movie because Gacchan wanted to, writing a song together, doing exactly as young people with talent should do.
He smiled and let his mind run over memories of that time, not of the shooting itself so much, but of the time off screen. Riding that silly motorbike to try and show off for his friend, joking and playing around with the rest of the cast despite the language barriers.
He loved most the nights when Gacchan and he had just sat together, working on the song and reading over the script. He grinned a little to himself, remembering that one time, the one the reporters loved, when he’d woken to find his friend hovering over him, telling him a moment later that he’d been about to kiss him! Gah, Gacchan, you never really knew what to expect in being friends with him, sometimes he could be really… out of the… blue.
Hyde swallowed a little and glanced back up at Gackt as he wet his lip, filing that one little occasion in with everything he had gathered in his head over the last few weeks. He swallowed lightly. Maybe he was jumping to conclusions? Surely with Gackt it really could have been a harmless, in the moment, sort of thing, right? He bit his lip, before looking back to find Gackt watching him.
“Is something the matter Haido?” Came his friends gentle voice, a small hint of concern laced with the bemusement he saw in his face.
Hyde grinned and chuckled softly. “Nah, this vampire book just had me thinking back to Taiwan… Moon Child,” he said with a soft fond smile.
He watched a similar look of fondness cross the younger singer’s face before that touch of bemusement returned. “But you were frowning Haido, surely your memories weren’t unpleasant... unless of course you were remembering the heat,” he said with just that hint of a teasing smile.
Hyde flushed lightly and wrinkled his nose at him, “It was bloody hot, and I don’t find it as funny as you all seemed to.” He said, sticking his tongue out at him before grinning a little, “Meh, do you remember that one time though, when you said you wanted to kiss me?” He asked offhandedly, very carefully gauging Gackt’s reactions. “The fans had a field day when you told the press about that one.”
Gackt smiled a little but it didn’t reach catch his eyes as the faintest of flushes crossed over his cheeks. “Ah yea, fanservice is such an amusing thing,” he murmured and turned back to what he was doing, Hyde only just catching the small swallow and the way Gackt’s shoulders had tightened just slightly.
“Yea, amusing…” he murmured gently in agreement. Wetting his lip, Hyde took a slow breath and pulled his legs up closer, eyes staring blankly at the book as he went about processing this new information.
Deciding how one felt when discovering their best friend was in love with them, seemed like a difficult task, but really that was the easy part. Hyde disregarded it as an issue almost immediately. It was silly to even consider that this might have a negative impact on their relationship. Gacchan had obviously kept it to himself because he valued their friendship, and Hyde’s previous marriage. However, Hyde knew that seeing as his friend had never tried to push the feelings, there was really nothing about them that he found uncomfortable. No, he was flattered, at the very least, and had no intention of letting it come between them.
Deciding how he felt in return was, of course, a very different matter. He loved Gackt, he knew that, hell, almost everyone knew that, but it had always been the love between friends. Now though, he was wondering if it might be more. He knew that Gackt made him more comfortable than anyone else he knew, and his friend had the most remarkable ability to make him feel singularly important while keeping him humble and grounded at the same time. But could that ever translate into passion?
He knew that testing his own reactions would be decidedly unfair to his friend, but he needed to know before he could consider confronting Gackt about it. He was subtle though, first just observing his friend in a slightly different manner. Letting his eyes slide over Gactk’s frame while his friend’s attention was diverted so he could mentally picture that firm physique that hid under the surface, brushing past him in the kitchen just so and letting himself feel the shiver that slid down his spine when he did it, or simply letting his eyes slide over those perfect lips and wondering what they would feel like against his own.
It wasn’t long before he started letting his mind drift to his friend while he was in the shower, when he lay in his bed just before sleeping at night, when he woke in the morning. It didn’t take long at all for him to discover his body very much liked where his mind was taking them, and his dreams grew increasingly heated to the point that on some mornings, Hyde would flush just lightly at catching his friend’s eyes over their morning coffee.
It wasn’t until he finally had a dream that really shook him that Hyde knew. He woke gasping and shaking softly because, while the dream had indeed held the heat that the others did…, it wasn’t about two bodies seeking mutual completion. It was about so much more than that, about two souls wanting to reach out and join together, and it had Hyde’s heart aching in his chest as he discovered just how much he longed for that intimacy with Gacchan... Gackt.
Calming down from the dream he let himself process it all and in the jumble of his thoughts one settled bright and clear: Hyde wanted Gackt, and he was going to make sure he got exactly what he wanted.
Part Three to come soon if you tell me you want it ;-)
Edit: Ready for more? Well part three is up, check out: The Heart of the Matter