Not sure what to do and where to turn....
I'm not sure what to do. I don't know why i stay with hoon. I like him, hell i care about him very much. But i don't want him to try and "turn me out". My ex wants to pimp me out so i can make some money and i feel dirty about it all. I'm still in love with the one in cali, and honestly there are days where i feel like i'm a fool for it all. I'm a fool in soo many ways. I just want to disappear from it all. Just run away and not tell many where i'm at or where i'm going. Just tell the few that i can trust. There isn't many to be honest.
Im so confused about things. My car problem, i'm sure i can get thru that just fine. I'll get thru it sometime, as for other things i'm not soo sure. I feel like i'm trapped. I can never get out of it. Its like i just want to do things alone so i don't have to have people telling me what to do, how to do it, i had that for years when i was growing up, being held back........I'm not sure if i should be one of those people who needs to talk to someone very often because i don't want to burden everyone else with my problems and have them feel like i need their attention. Cause i used to be like that. I'm not like that anymore. But there are times where i need it sooo badly, that it hurts. I have issues. I want to know why i am the way i am. Do i need pills for depression, why am i so anti social. Do i have a problem that can be fixed. God i hope so cause i'm sick of the way things are at times.
What do i do to get somewhere that i want to go? Save up and go at a later date. This i know but its so damn difficult with the way things are going in my life. Right now my life isn't really going the way i want. Keep on trying i know i know i know. But damn i hate the fact i'm not getting a clue that my life will be going ok.
Will talking to god help me. I don't know. There are days where i am not sure if he will help me at all. My grandma prays to god all the time she says it works for her and i just don't know if it will help me out at all. She told me that every prayer she said has gotten answered at some point. But will it work for me? I want to go somewhere and just sit and pray alone because i dont' want to be around many people. Just talk to god if it will help me out. I have faith in god, i just feel that i've lost my way. I'm not really sure what to do because i'm scared things will not work out for me.
Im so confused about things. My car problem, i'm sure i can get thru that just fine. I'll get thru it sometime, as for other things i'm not soo sure. I feel like i'm trapped. I can never get out of it. Its like i just want to do things alone so i don't have to have people telling me what to do, how to do it, i had that for years when i was growing up, being held back........I'm not sure if i should be one of those people who needs to talk to someone very often because i don't want to burden everyone else with my problems and have them feel like i need their attention. Cause i used to be like that. I'm not like that anymore. But there are times where i need it sooo badly, that it hurts. I have issues. I want to know why i am the way i am. Do i need pills for depression, why am i so anti social. Do i have a problem that can be fixed. God i hope so cause i'm sick of the way things are at times.
What do i do to get somewhere that i want to go? Save up and go at a later date. This i know but its so damn difficult with the way things are going in my life. Right now my life isn't really going the way i want. Keep on trying i know i know i know. But damn i hate the fact i'm not getting a clue that my life will be going ok.
Will talking to god help me. I don't know. There are days where i am not sure if he will help me at all. My grandma prays to god all the time she says it works for her and i just don't know if it will help me out at all. She told me that every prayer she said has gotten answered at some point. But will it work for me? I want to go somewhere and just sit and pray alone because i dont' want to be around many people. Just talk to god if it will help me out. I have faith in god, i just feel that i've lost my way. I'm not really sure what to do because i'm scared things will not work out for me.