day 1 (ed nos, essays and calorie counting)
today is the first day of my journal on livejournal, I don't really know how this all works yet but hopefully I'll get the hang of it soon. I found the site through watching pro ana videos on u tube and loads of the entries have livejournal on them so I thought I'd take a look. I'm currnely looking though all the different communities for pro ana cause I want to join them but I'm kind of nervous.
ED-NOS
I think I have this, its eating disorder not otherwise specified, which is what doctors call things when they don't know what to do! If anyone wants to add comments about what they think then please do as I'm kjind of alone in dealing with it so welcome any opinions.
I try not to eat, every day I try but i'm too weak and I give in, I know how much fat and how many calories are in everything, I add up the calories I've eaten in a day in my head and get mad if its a lot, if I eat too much I try and make myself sick but I can't always do it, if I can't then I take laxatives, which I know doesn't really work but it makes me feel a bit better. I try and go to the gym 4 times a week, sometimes I can't like this week I have an essay to do for uni so I have to do that, I want to not eat instead but if I don't I can't concentrate.
I don't seem to ever loose weight, I'd like to be 110lb, its just under 8st, at the moment I'm123 so its less than a stone of weight, I'm aiming to do it by my birthday 26th April so I've got over a month, I'm going to try and post every day with what I've eaten so I won't eat as much if I know I have to write it;
saturday 17th March
1 bowl porridge with raisins, made with half skimmed milk half water = 200 cal
1 small portion fo pineapple = 80 cals
1 currant bun (I'm cross with myself for this) = 250 cals
1 piece brown toast with low fat cheese spread = 120cals
I'm not eating anything elso so total cals= 650
I'm aiming for less tomorrow but its going to be hard cause its mothers day so I have to eat with my family, I'm going to try and get out of having luncha dn breakfast I think.
just burned 150 cals on my mums exercise bike whils she was out, feel a bit better, still bloated from 3 laxatives I took when I couldn't throw up before, gross!
ED-NOS
I think I have this, its eating disorder not otherwise specified, which is what doctors call things when they don't know what to do! If anyone wants to add comments about what they think then please do as I'm kjind of alone in dealing with it so welcome any opinions.
I try not to eat, every day I try but i'm too weak and I give in, I know how much fat and how many calories are in everything, I add up the calories I've eaten in a day in my head and get mad if its a lot, if I eat too much I try and make myself sick but I can't always do it, if I can't then I take laxatives, which I know doesn't really work but it makes me feel a bit better. I try and go to the gym 4 times a week, sometimes I can't like this week I have an essay to do for uni so I have to do that, I want to not eat instead but if I don't I can't concentrate.
I don't seem to ever loose weight, I'd like to be 110lb, its just under 8st, at the moment I'm123 so its less than a stone of weight, I'm aiming to do it by my birthday 26th April so I've got over a month, I'm going to try and post every day with what I've eaten so I won't eat as much if I know I have to write it;
saturday 17th March
1 bowl porridge with raisins, made with half skimmed milk half water = 200 cal
1 small portion fo pineapple = 80 cals
1 currant bun (I'm cross with myself for this) = 250 cals
1 piece brown toast with low fat cheese spread = 120cals
I'm not eating anything elso so total cals= 650
I'm aiming for less tomorrow but its going to be hard cause its mothers day so I have to eat with my family, I'm going to try and get out of having luncha dn breakfast I think.
just burned 150 cals on my mums exercise bike whils she was out, feel a bit better, still bloated from 3 laxatives I took when I couldn't throw up before, gross!