I really want a new cell phone!
Things I want in a new phone:
* RED exterior
* Ability to do video calls and video messaging
* GPS
* Really, really good call quality
* Really good camera
* Camcorder (a weeee little camcorder!)
* Tri- or quad-band so I can use it in other countries (which apparently is not only totally common now but also I can just get a sim card for other countries to avoid roaming charges)
Things I sure would not mind in a new phone:
* Ability to browse the web
* Blah blah email
* Good construction
The weird thing about video calls, besides that only AT&T offers them right now afaik, is that most of the phones I've seen have the camera on the outside. So it's not really a video call is it? I guess maybe on phones that have an external display you could put it on speakerphone and look at the camera while seeing someone talking to you. Hey! It's like the Jetsons! Can hovercars really be so far behind? (actually we already have hovertrains in lots of places, and hoversubmarines, so I don't know what everyone is complaining about. Besides that we lack the ability to fly to work.)
Here's my fucking problem. I can't seem to get the right cell phone with a provider I want who will let me get an account with them. Either I am buying the phone I want cheap on ebay and then I don't know how to sign up with anyone with a random unlocked phone, or I am getting a phone that is free with a two-year contract and then they are all "And a $1,000 deposit," (true story, and thanks a lot AT&T), or a lot of other options that confuse me. So I want to list my options:
1. Free phone via eBay + 2-year service contract + $1,000 deposit. [Hell no.]
2. Ditto + calling them to be like, "SERIOUSLY? Can we possibly negotiate that down into the realm of sanity?"
3. Finding out how to set up a family plan on Annie's account. Do I need to buy my own phone at retail prices? Do I get a phone discount but a credit check? Something something?
4. Keep using virgin mobile and get a good phone from them. [Seemingly impossible based on their meager lineup, and they don't offer video anything at all.]
5. Find out if I can get the phone I want unlocked and use it with virgin mobile. [Still no video services but at least I could use it to take videos and upload them to my computer. Maybe.]
6. I could go to a cell phone store after 3 or so, so that they can't run my credit check because the east coast stuff is closed, and then get a confirmation number and return the next day and let them assume that they already ran the credit check, and get a phone that way. Except that that is dishonest.
7. Hey! Maybe I can get a pay as you go plan from at&t that lets me use video messaging.
8. Or a pay as you go plan from someone else that lets me use the phone I want! Apparently they just send you a sim card and you can use whatever phone you stick it into if it is unlocked or locked to the carrier you picked.
Seriously, I refused to even get a cell phone for years and one of the reasons was that the companies make it sooooooooooooOOOOO ridiculously complicated. At the time it was because the plans were all really complicated, with all their crazy words about minutes and roaming and zones and anytime and night and weekend and whatever. Now it's simpler and also there are easy to understand plans, but now there is all this other confusing stuff to learn about! And a lot of the companies don't seem to understand it themselves. Like, my phone lets me text message people but it doesn't go through. It doesn't tell me it didn't go through. It says it was sent, but it never gets to the other person. Is it because I don't have a messagy option on my plan? Could they maybe try not having the send option, or even better, having a message when I try that says "you don't have any text messages on your plan, sign up here and give us money"? It's all so fucking stupid.
And then I go look at at&t's pay as you go plans and it's all. "You get minutes of this kind and that kind." The phones they offer with those plans are all, "You can use me to do video messaging and send internetty information and shit!" But the plans say NOTHING about it. (They are also full of the ripoff because the plan that they offer for about $30, about what I paid virgin mobile, only offers 200 minutes and no night and weekend minutes - and any text messaging or internet time comes out of that too, at undisclosed rates. With virgin mobile I was getting 300 minutes and unlimited (or 1000?) night and weekend minutes for that price.) First you have to pick your plan, and THEN you can see how much it costs for all of that other shit. And if you think about it for too long it makes you start over. And there are no mobile-to-mobile minutes with anything but the $70 a month plan, so if I bought someone else a cell phone and called them, I'd be paying twice for each minute. AWESOME.
WHO INVENTED THIS CHARADE?!
* RED exterior
* Ability to do video calls and video messaging
* GPS
* Really, really good call quality
* Really good camera
* Camcorder (a weeee little camcorder!)
* Tri- or quad-band so I can use it in other countries (which apparently is not only totally common now but also I can just get a sim card for other countries to avoid roaming charges)
Things I sure would not mind in a new phone:
* Ability to browse the web
* Blah blah email
* Good construction
The weird thing about video calls, besides that only AT&T offers them right now afaik, is that most of the phones I've seen have the camera on the outside. So it's not really a video call is it? I guess maybe on phones that have an external display you could put it on speakerphone and look at the camera while seeing someone talking to you. Hey! It's like the Jetsons! Can hovercars really be so far behind? (actually we already have hovertrains in lots of places, and hoversubmarines, so I don't know what everyone is complaining about. Besides that we lack the ability to fly to work.)
Here's my fucking problem. I can't seem to get the right cell phone with a provider I want who will let me get an account with them. Either I am buying the phone I want cheap on ebay and then I don't know how to sign up with anyone with a random unlocked phone, or I am getting a phone that is free with a two-year contract and then they are all "And a $1,000 deposit," (true story, and thanks a lot AT&T), or a lot of other options that confuse me. So I want to list my options:
1. Free phone via eBay + 2-year service contract + $1,000 deposit. [Hell no.]
2. Ditto + calling them to be like, "SERIOUSLY? Can we possibly negotiate that down into the realm of sanity?"
3. Finding out how to set up a family plan on Annie's account. Do I need to buy my own phone at retail prices? Do I get a phone discount but a credit check? Something something?
4. Keep using virgin mobile and get a good phone from them. [Seemingly impossible based on their meager lineup, and they don't offer video anything at all.]
5. Find out if I can get the phone I want unlocked and use it with virgin mobile. [Still no video services but at least I could use it to take videos and upload them to my computer. Maybe.]
6. I could go to a cell phone store after 3 or so, so that they can't run my credit check because the east coast stuff is closed, and then get a confirmation number and return the next day and let them assume that they already ran the credit check, and get a phone that way. Except that that is dishonest.
7. Hey! Maybe I can get a pay as you go plan from at&t that lets me use video messaging.
8. Or a pay as you go plan from someone else that lets me use the phone I want! Apparently they just send you a sim card and you can use whatever phone you stick it into if it is unlocked or locked to the carrier you picked.
Seriously, I refused to even get a cell phone for years and one of the reasons was that the companies make it sooooooooooooOOOOO ridiculously complicated. At the time it was because the plans were all really complicated, with all their crazy words about minutes and roaming and zones and anytime and night and weekend and whatever. Now it's simpler and also there are easy to understand plans, but now there is all this other confusing stuff to learn about! And a lot of the companies don't seem to understand it themselves. Like, my phone lets me text message people but it doesn't go through. It doesn't tell me it didn't go through. It says it was sent, but it never gets to the other person. Is it because I don't have a messagy option on my plan? Could they maybe try not having the send option, or even better, having a message when I try that says "you don't have any text messages on your plan, sign up here and give us money"? It's all so fucking stupid.
And then I go look at at&t's pay as you go plans and it's all. "You get minutes of this kind and that kind." The phones they offer with those plans are all, "You can use me to do video messaging and send internetty information and shit!" But the plans say NOTHING about it. (They are also full of the ripoff because the plan that they offer for about $30, about what I paid virgin mobile, only offers 200 minutes and no night and weekend minutes - and any text messaging or internet time comes out of that too, at undisclosed rates. With virgin mobile I was getting 300 minutes and unlimited (or 1000?) night and weekend minutes for that price.) First you have to pick your plan, and THEN you can see how much it costs for all of that other shit. And if you think about it for too long it makes you start over. And there are no mobile-to-mobile minutes with anything but the $70 a month plan, so if I bought someone else a cell phone and called them, I'd be paying twice for each minute. AWESOME.
WHO INVENTED THIS CHARADE?!