(no subject)
FUCK SHIT FUCK MOTHERFUCKER!!
Last night was hell, I got mad at matt for a stupid reason, I spent all of last night hating myself for it and most of this morning. I've been catching alot of shit from my parents lately. Shit that is really getting to me, and getting inside my head. They tell me all the time that Im going to fuck up and screw up and that I should have a job by now and all that shit. I almost left for good last night, he didnt let me.
And I am glad he didnt because I know that later once I calmed down from my rage Id have regret it. I think he knew that. He sits there and says all these things about how I think and what I do and 95% of the time he is right about me. That makes me so mad that hes right and knows how I think and why I do certin things I do.
Last night we were both driving home and my mom called me up and started screaming at me, matt was behind me and during the course of this I almost got into a horrible accident. He called me and told me to pull over somewhere. I did he did behind me and got out of his car and just held me till I felt better, and that was just so wonderful of him. I feel so safe with him, then i went home and I was alone in my room and realize how I acted that night and how even after I was horrible to him some other shit happened with my mom and he was right there no questions asked...
After that, I felt like i didnt deserve him, so I told him that. He said dont worry, and that everything is fine basically. Then I finnally fell asleep. I have the urge to see him right now I feel the need to make things up to him. I think next friday will be a good time because we are going to swan lake..maybe we will do dinner before hand since Im getting a heavy paycheck this week. It wont make up for it, but its just a nice thing to do, and I was going to do it anyway. Alright kids..im out..bye