still going to the same beat
no matter what comes my way, i always seem to pull through. it may not be on top, but i always manage to survive. why is that? maybe because of the sacrifices i've made. i don't like those sacrifices. most of them are not by choice either. i'm saddened by what i have read, seen, and experienced. i feel no remorse for myself but for the people around me. it's as if i'm that little girl wishing on a star for everything to be alright. i hope for the best for everyone, that is all i can do. everything else is in god's hands.
not very often has god been my savior. i'm not much of a "devoted" catholic, but lately i can't resist but to say a little prayer before i go to bed. i pray for the people around me and those who have chosen not to be. i hope the best for everyone.
i found this really said song. it's title is Davy Jones from Hans Zimmer. this song is played in the new movie pirates of the caribeann. the beginning is slow as the music is a like one of those jewelry boxes. so very sad. then it turns into this bigger orchastra of music and pounding of drums. it reflects exactly how i am feeling. i am so sad that things i hold so dear are crumbling slowly, yet i get this buildup of anger. just thinking about it makes me want to cry. i have done nothing but step back and let life take its toll.
while i'm on the topic of life, i'm so sick that some people give up their life with a pop of a pill in the mouth or shooting of a gun. how selfish to end's one life like that. there is no way a person's life could be near as bad that the result would be such an act of suicide. i have had not so glamourous of a childhood, however, i never have attempted any such act. i may have thought to hurt myself to ease the pain, but never to end my life. whoever reads this may judge all you want. i'm not proud of my actions. i'll admit i once scratched myself with my nails until my legs and arms were bright red. i never once thought of "cutting" myself. it's different when you're in a position like that, but i never want to be in such a position as i once was again, ever. i wouldn't want anyone to do anything like that either. there are so many different ways to express yourself than hurting yourself.
first and for most you need friends. if you have friends use them! you'd be surprise how much they may know. i wish i had them back then. i may be different. don't get me wrong, i love the way i am. my chubbyness and all. maybe that's a problem. people don't love themselves anymore. step back and find something you like about yourself. let's see i love...my curly hair. i know sometimes i say i hate it but lately, i have embraced it to its fullest.
i think i've written enough for one night. phew! it's kind of tiring pouring random thoughts onto a computer screen.
not very often has god been my savior. i'm not much of a "devoted" catholic, but lately i can't resist but to say a little prayer before i go to bed. i pray for the people around me and those who have chosen not to be. i hope the best for everyone.
i found this really said song. it's title is Davy Jones from Hans Zimmer. this song is played in the new movie pirates of the caribeann. the beginning is slow as the music is a like one of those jewelry boxes. so very sad. then it turns into this bigger orchastra of music and pounding of drums. it reflects exactly how i am feeling. i am so sad that things i hold so dear are crumbling slowly, yet i get this buildup of anger. just thinking about it makes me want to cry. i have done nothing but step back and let life take its toll.
while i'm on the topic of life, i'm so sick that some people give up their life with a pop of a pill in the mouth or shooting of a gun. how selfish to end's one life like that. there is no way a person's life could be near as bad that the result would be such an act of suicide. i have had not so glamourous of a childhood, however, i never have attempted any such act. i may have thought to hurt myself to ease the pain, but never to end my life. whoever reads this may judge all you want. i'm not proud of my actions. i'll admit i once scratched myself with my nails until my legs and arms were bright red. i never once thought of "cutting" myself. it's different when you're in a position like that, but i never want to be in such a position as i once was again, ever. i wouldn't want anyone to do anything like that either. there are so many different ways to express yourself than hurting yourself.
first and for most you need friends. if you have friends use them! you'd be surprise how much they may know. i wish i had them back then. i may be different. don't get me wrong, i love the way i am. my chubbyness and all. maybe that's a problem. people don't love themselves anymore. step back and find something you like about yourself. let's see i love...my curly hair. i know sometimes i say i hate it but lately, i have embraced it to its fullest.
i think i've written enough for one night. phew! it's kind of tiring pouring random thoughts onto a computer screen.