December 22, 2014 3:36pm

[fairy_wings_87]

I woke up on December 22 at 9:30 in the morning, had to do my business seeing as I was 39 weeks and 2 days pregnant. After I went to the restroom I stood up and water poured out of me...I very awkwardly googled what it's like to have your water break. Even after months of pregnancy classes I still was unsure and didn't know what was going on. After two changes of underwear I finally went to Michael and said "I think my water broke." I wasn't having any contractions at the time and felt perfectly normal but different. Finished packing up and headed to the hospital. I was completely soaked by the time we got there (we live 2 minutes away from St. Francis) so clearly yes my water had broken. They checked me in at 10:30 and I was dilated to a 2. I moved to the delivery room where Jan joined us not long after (Michaels' mother) The questions they asked helped pass the time and by 1:30 I was dilated to a 6. Contractions were getting more intense and worse, but were still manageable. The plan was to have an epidural, but during my entire pregnancy Michael insisted I do it naturally, saying that it would be an exceptional experience to remember. I remember being extremely quiet during contractions, almost like talking or screaming would steal precious energy that I was going to need. I was spinning in circles on the bed, tangling the IV they put in, trying to find a comfortable position where the pain was not as harsh. No such luck. They checked me again at 2:45 and I was dilated to an 8. This is when I knew that I was NOT going to have an epidural and I got beyond nervous. The nurses kept telling me that it was okay if I felt it was time to push. I felt nauseous and sick and was convinced in that last hour that I was going to throw up or pass out. My midwife Mary finally arrived and thanked me for waiting for her to get there, I began pushing 15 minutes after she got there. I have never felt so weak in my entire life, every single push made me feel like I was going to black out because the pain was so intense. They kept telling me to push three times with each contraction and stubborn me would not do so. I stopped after two each time repeatedly saying "I can't do this" (Which I'm assuming is pretty typical when you are about to push a baby out of your vagina) I did some mild cursing there in the end, which is so very me. Jah jah jah. Finally the head came out and everybody was saying that I needed to "push push push push" in a manner that something was wrong, they were saying that they couldn't get the shoulders through (later I was told he had shoulder dystocia) and I looked down and could see Isaac's head just hanging out of me, so when I thought I no longer could do so I puuuuuuuuuushed and they finally got that little guy out of there took him over to the his bed and seconds later I could hear him screaming, this is when it became real to me what was actually happening this entire time over this 9 month period. I was bringing a baby into this world and at that point I DID bring him into this world. I cried with him on his first cry, I never wanted to hold anyone so badly in my entire life. It was only a few minutes that I had to wait but it seemed like forever. I loved him, and when they handed him to me I realized I loved him from the moment I found out I was pregnant and just didn't quite understand any of the emotions until I saw him. Isaac Edward Allan Ordaz arrived on December 22 2014 at 3:36 pm weighing in at 8 pounds 1.5 ounces and 20 inches long. Less than 7 hours of labor, born naturally by yours truly and I brag because doing it drug free really was the right way for it to happen.

2 days ago he turned 1 month old. Most times I just stare at him in disbelief. I never understood love until I met this little boy. On top of that 2 days ago marked Isaac being exclusively breastfed for 1 month! Goals and accomplishments we are already making together. He melts my heart with his scrunchy forehead sleepy face stretches and his sneezes that turn into hard sneeze soundless coughs. The way that he wraps his fingers around mine and stares at me with those wondering eyes that are eager to learn and be taught.

I'm so glad that you are mine Isaac, and thank you for making me a mother, I will do my best.

(Oh and Michael was a good partner, and he's quite the dad!)

The journey has begun :)