Canberra - Full of Cunts. Volume 1.
One boozy night after leaving Academy (I wasn't there by choice, young Lachlan inexplicably wanted his 21st there)I had to somehow find my way back to the wilds of Tuggeranong. Via taxi, this generally costs somewhere in the realm of $50, a sum I generally will not readily part with, unless it's I'm pursueing more alcohol.
Vanessa, who had decided to come with me to keep me out of trouble, helped me edge my way up the taxi line, "are you going to Tuggeranong? Are you going to..." until one particularly ugly customer snarled "NO! GETTHEBACKA D"LION!" I briefly tried explaining that the only effects of me sharing a taxi with someone was that me and the other passengers would have a lower fare, and would not, in fact, get him there any slower, or indeed affect him at all. Unfortunatley, being even drunker than he was, the speech I actually managed to produce was something along the lines of "IYASTUPIDCUNTFUCKERHOWFUCKINGRETARDEDAREYOU!". "Nuhuh, no fights this time Claire" said Vanessa, gently but firmly steering me away. "This time?" I wondered briefly, but couldnt think of anything so let it go. Some other taxi goers overheard our plight and sympathetically started a chat with us. Whilst Vanessa was engaged in conversation, The feeling I'd been wronged increased. I hate being yelled at, and for gods sake, I was right. If someone shares a taxi, you get home no slower. If it annoys you to see them hop in while youve had to wait for longer, thats just fucking stupid. for christs sake dont be such a fucking whiny retard. If you dont want to share (which, fair enough, most people dont) lie and say youre going the opposite direction. But anyway.
"Y'know, I reckon I could hit him from here." I mused, indicating a 20cent coin. "No, Claire. Claire? No." said Vanessa firmly and turned back to her conversation. "Nah, I can totally take him." I asserted confidentally , aimed, and PING! smack-bang on the back of the skull. Beautiful shot. I saw a brief vision of outrage, arms waving around wildly and a yell akin to that of a foul-mouthed wookie before i turned around to hide my smirk, and did a little jig of unholy glee.
After my antagonist was safely in his hard earned taxi, I got a tap on the shoulder. "I believe this is yours?" politely questioned a young man. My eyes widened, unprepared for a potentially ugly change in atmosphere. He laughed, said "Don't worry, the guy was a dick. And it was a good shot." He returned my coin and resumed his place in line.
God damn right it was a good shot.
Vanessa, who had decided to come with me to keep me out of trouble, helped me edge my way up the taxi line, "are you going to Tuggeranong? Are you going to..." until one particularly ugly customer snarled "NO! GETTHEBACKA D"LION!" I briefly tried explaining that the only effects of me sharing a taxi with someone was that me and the other passengers would have a lower fare, and would not, in fact, get him there any slower, or indeed affect him at all. Unfortunatley, being even drunker than he was, the speech I actually managed to produce was something along the lines of "IYASTUPIDCUNTFUCKERHOWFUCKINGRETARDEDAREYOU!". "Nuhuh, no fights this time Claire" said Vanessa, gently but firmly steering me away. "This time?" I wondered briefly, but couldnt think of anything so let it go. Some other taxi goers overheard our plight and sympathetically started a chat with us. Whilst Vanessa was engaged in conversation, The feeling I'd been wronged increased. I hate being yelled at, and for gods sake, I was right. If someone shares a taxi, you get home no slower. If it annoys you to see them hop in while youve had to wait for longer, thats just fucking stupid. for christs sake dont be such a fucking whiny retard. If you dont want to share (which, fair enough, most people dont) lie and say youre going the opposite direction. But anyway.
"Y'know, I reckon I could hit him from here." I mused, indicating a 20cent coin. "No, Claire. Claire? No." said Vanessa firmly and turned back to her conversation. "Nah, I can totally take him." I asserted confidentally , aimed, and PING! smack-bang on the back of the skull. Beautiful shot. I saw a brief vision of outrage, arms waving around wildly and a yell akin to that of a foul-mouthed wookie before i turned around to hide my smirk, and did a little jig of unholy glee.
After my antagonist was safely in his hard earned taxi, I got a tap on the shoulder. "I believe this is yours?" politely questioned a young man. My eyes widened, unprepared for a potentially ugly change in atmosphere. He laughed, said "Don't worry, the guy was a dick. And it was a good shot." He returned my coin and resumed his place in line.
God damn right it was a good shot.